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I'm Blaming Myself, I Need Reassurance


Sailor Girl

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Hi all, I'll get straight to the point here, I was raped as a kid, no penetration, but the clitoris was involved, I might've messed that up. Anyway I got a surprise visit from my boyfriend last night, and while we were getting into things it was MY idea to touch myself, because I normally can't get off wihtout something. Well he started touching me and I immediately flipped out. I ended up in tears and I feel like I deserved this because I was the one to start something. I'm ot scared he'll hurtme, if I thought he would trust me we wouldn't have sex. I think I was on edge with family stuff going on and well there are times a girl has to cry and well I did. So please, I hope no one is going to say something like yeah you should be ovr it and you should have not touched yourself if you didn't want him too... I kow i'm my own worst enemy. Hope no one thinks I'm stupid. He says he wasn't mad, but his voice implied disapointment maybe is the best word, we did have sex later and it was ince, I even got into it a little more, but I'm just beating myself up over this and could use a virtual it's ok hun. Oh and Mckayla, I hope you don't mind me saying this and i mean this as a compliment your husband's voice sivery hot. smiles thanks all,

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Oh honey, don't blame yourself! Sometimes things can trigger bad memories, and that is all that happened with you! Being raped or violated in any way is a horrible thing for any woman to experience - and sometimes when we least expect it, something brings back the bad memories!

I agree that counseling might benefit you - depending on how long ago this happened. In the meantime, give yourself permission to touch yourself and for your man to also. Be honest with him to the point that you feel comfortable - and I am sure he will take it slow with you.

Oh, and yes, I think my hubby has a sexy voice too- no offense taken, I get to hear that voice every day - and whispering in my ears at night! ;)

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Oh honey, don't blame yourself! Sometimes things can trigger bad memories, and that is all that happened with you! Being raped or violated in any way is a horrible thing for any woman to experience - and sometimes when we least expect it, something brings back the bad memories!

I agree that counseling might benefit you - depending on how long ago this happened. In the meantime, give yourself permission to touch yourself and for your man to also. Be honest with him to the point that you feel comfortable - and I am sure he will take it slow with you.

Oh, and yes, I think my hubby has a sexy voice too- no offense taken, I get to hear that voice every day - and whispering in my ears at night! ;)

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Thanks to the both of you. I did have counceling, and I think what happened was just for whatever reason it popped up. I'm honest with him, he knew about it when I first grabbed his ass instead of a beer, I didn't mean to lol. so he did knw what happened, andhe evev said he'd done it the wrong way, and he feltbad. So did I, it's not the kind of thing i can't talk about, hellit's not exactly a great conversation starter really, I think it was just somethign that freaked me out because it was my hand then his and I just lost m thought processes and got hit with the virtualmemory. I'm hoping he'll give me a call later, but thanks so mch Mckayla for yor advice, howard you as well. I'm sure I'll ask other questions soon. Oh and I wasn't sure if this should've gone in a diferent board,thanks for not killing me for that. talk soon,

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