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Trying To Get Out Of My Shell


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I've been with my boyfriend for a while. We have sex quite a bit, but it's always the same thing, and i admit i'm the one to blame for that.

I grew up with guys, and you would think that I would be sexually open hearing what they like and what they don't like (bc they always talked about this kind of stuff as if I wasn't there, or just one of the guys). But I'm not. I'm actually quite shy when it comes to a lot of things.

I've heard the horror stories that the guys tell, and I just don't want to be that girl that they talk about if you know what i mean. My bf gets frustrated bc I'm not big on oral, giving or recieving. I gave him a blow job the other day, and it was the first time I had ever done that. He got off and i told him that it wasnt' as bad as i thought and I wouldn't mind doing it again. But since then I haven't. I think I'm scared that he won't get off again and I'll get discouraged.

Now him giving me oral... I've never been comfortable with it from anyone, and i've never let him even go there... I need tips on how to just let it happen i guess... or do i just let it happen? I think i'm scared of how i smell.... i take great care of my body and i have great hygeine, and it's not like a fish stand down there, but... i don't know, I guess i'm worried if he doesn't get turned on by my scent...

The sex is great. But recently I was getting bladder infections bc we were really rough, and trying new positions, so I've been reserved for fear that I might get another one (they were so bad I almost went to the hospital for fear that the infection spread).

Lately I've been in the mood a lot but our schedules are just so crazy that when i get home we both just sleep. I want to do little romantic things to put me in the mood when i'm not, but he's just not the type of guy to care about that, and i don't think he's the kind of guy to put out that effort. DOn't get me wrong, my bf is amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I guess I really just need advice on how to take it to that next step with out being such a lame ass.

I have a sexual past with someone that wasn't a good one... so i think I'm paranoid still, but i trust my bf and i want to show him...


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I think you really just need to build up the courage to let this thing happen. The best way I can think of to help you is to describe it like this. When you compare the penis to the tongue, there is no contest between the two. A cock can't do a tenth of the things that an experienced(or even inexperienced) tongue can do to give you pleasure. When you go down on someone, you are providing for their pleasure. You have done this for your boyfriend now and what went through your mind when you were down there? You are going to smell musky down there, there is no doubt of that, but if you take good care of yourself the smell will not be a bad smell and the taste will not be a bad taste. The orgasm(hopefully orgasms) will be great, though. One of the best things you can do is learn your own body and absolutely let your partner know what is and is not working for you and to let him know what you want done again.


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It is definitely mind over matter. Most men LOVE the way a woman smells and tastes down there, it's just how they're geared! If you're a clean person, are healthy, and wear clean clothes, then you have NOTHING to worry about.

As far as what you heard from your brothers, many men, like many women, compare about past lovers, in different ways. Sometimes they embellish, or tell tall tales to either make their shortcomings their lover's fault, or just stretch the truth. If it's brothers, then they're probably doing some sibling "I'm better than you aaaaaaaaaaare...." kinda thing. Men are more crude when it comes to comparing though. But, it also depends on the crowd, if you KWIM. What many guys don't realize, is, that if they're putting down some girl because she's too "easy" or too "frigid", THEY THEMSELVES probably had something to do with that, and that they're putting themselves down for being lousy lovers as well! So there. :P

If your BF wants to go down on you, let him, you might like it!! You just need to relax, and keep thinking to yourself, that if he didn't want to do that, he wouldn't offer to do so!

You need time to educate yourself on not only what to do, but what you LIKE too! It's not like just because you're born with genitals, that you KNOW what to do! It takes time. Let your BF teach you what he likes, and when he does something that YOU like, let him know, so he can do it again! It takes time, effort to teach and be taught, on how to be a good lover, to actually BECOME one!

Relax, have fun, and try not to over think it!

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