Newbie jat Posted December 2, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted December 2, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Well, you sure have a lot going on here. FIrst I would HIGHLY suggest that you not try to get involved with a married man. Not necessarily because it is taboo or wrong but more because you had 13 years of a bad relationship and I would hate to see you hurt again because this man won't leave his wife. I think he has already told you what you need to know: he can't fall in love with you. Why? Well, I will bet he does love his wife and/or feels obligated to her. Therefore, he will not let himself be consumed totally by you. This is not a win-win situation, but instead very much a loose-loose!This is unfortunately an example of a man who wants his cake....and he is eating you too. Perhaps you have a strong attraction - but you started out this post saying you wanted love. I would add to that that you also should want respect, admiration and most of all, a man who ONLY wants to be with YOU. THis man will NEVER be that. He has cheated on his wife to be with you - ultimately, what does that tell you about his feelings for his committed partner? Yes, cheaters can change - but if I were you, I would not want to waste time on a man who has already cheated. Believe me, I have been in your shoes - exactly in your shoes. Got engaged to the man after he dumped his wife. Loved him with all my being - and he cheated. HE would never change!Women usually attach emotion to sex - this is the way we are made. We do not have to be in love to have sex, but it normally follows suite. Men can and often do, have sex without emotion. They seem to not be as ready to fall in love with a sexual partner. Ultimately, whether you stay with this man is your decision, but I think you deserve a man who only wants to be with you. Try to find that - you deserve it and it is out there for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunshine Sam218 Posted December 2, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Well, you sure have a lot going on here. FIrst I would HIGHLY suggest that you not try to get involved with a married man. Not necessarily because it is taboo or wrong but more because you had 13 years of a bad relationship and I would hate to see you hurt again because this man won't leave his wife. I think he has already told you what you need to know: he can't fall in love with you. Why? Well, I will bet he does love his wife and/or feels obligated to her. Therefore, he will not let himself be consumed totally by you. This is not a win-win situation, but instead very much a loose-loose!This is unfortunately an example of a man who wants his cake....and he is eating you too. Perhaps you have a strong attraction - but you started out this post saying you wanted love. I would add to that that you also should want respect, admiration and most of all, a man who ONLY wants to be with YOU. THis man will NEVER be that. He has cheated on his wife to be with you - ultimately, what does that tell you about his feelings for his committed partner? Yes, cheaters can change - but if I were you, I would not want to waste time on a man who has already cheated. Believe me, I have been in your shoes - exactly in your shoes. Got engaged to the man after he dumped his wife. Loved him with all my being - and he cheated. HE would never change!Women usually attach emotion to sex - this is the way we are made. We do not have to be in love to have sex, but it normally follows suite. Men can and often do, have sex without emotion. They seem to not be as ready to fall in love with a sexual partner. Ultimately, whether you stay with this man is your decision, but I think you deserve a man who only wants to be with you. Try to find that - you deserve it and it is out there for you!You couldn't have said it any better. I'm not trying to butter you up or anything, I mean it sincerely. I've always had that problem when I was younger, guys who had girlfriends always went after me. I have no idea why but they did and I never said anything cause I actually believed they loved me. Psh, who was I kidding right?One guy I dated, lied to me and said he broke up with his girlfriend. Then his cell phone went off and she was calling and asked him where he was, that she missed him. Then I broke off it off with the guy and asked him not to call me anymore.I moved and to my surprise he ims me every once in awhile and asks how my boyfriend and I are doing. I guess he still thinks he can trick me into believe that he loves me but I've learned my lesson. I won't fall for that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted December 3, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 Not to be mean but you say you are still with your husband? Do you believe that a bad marriage is the best example for your children? I hope you find a way to break this cycle. Rebounding through partners is not going to make you happy and will do more harm than good for your kids. Our children usually follow the examples that we set for them. And it can't be fun to watch them do it too. You deserve a loving partner but this way will not get you one. A divorce will affect the kids but not as bad as thinking this is how relationships are supposed to be. Cheaters can change if they choose to but I've never met one who changed this quickly. There are normally at least a handful of bad relationships before they figure out the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie jat Posted December 20, 2007 Author Newbie Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Not to be mean but you say you are still with your husband? Do you believe that a bad marriage is the best example for your children? I hope you find a way to break this cycle. Rebounding through partners is not going to make you happy and will do more harm than good for your kids. Our children usually follow the examples that we set for them. And it can't be fun to watch them do it too. You deserve a loving partner but this way will not get you one. A divorce will affect the kids but not as bad as thinking this is how relationships are supposed to be. Cheaters can change if they choose to but I've never met one who changed this quickly. There are normally at least a handful of bad relationships before they fig my ure out the problem.Thank you for your reply, I do not believe a bad marriage is a good example for my children. I totally agree with what you said here and I appreciate your honesty. I NEVER want to see my children in a miserable relationship like I'm in. I'm always telling them that this is not the way a marriage is supposed to be but yeah I need to do something different here you're right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted December 21, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 Thank you for your reply, I do not believe a bad marriage is a good example for my children. I totally agree with what you said here and I appreciate your honesty. I NEVER want to see my children in a miserable relationship like I'm in. I'm always telling them that this is not the way a marriage is supposed to be but yeah I need to do something different here you're right. As with everything else in life it is totally up to you. We are here only to help, never to judge!! Good luck and I hope you make the choice that makes you happy!!!! Not someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.