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I Want My Husband To Share My Sexual Desires


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I am 27 and have been with my husband since I was 19. We have a great (but not terribly exciting) sex life and he treats me like a princess. The problem is that I have been getting bored lately with the same old stuff and have been turning to internet porn to really get me going. He doesn't know this. I would die if he knew, but I have an urge to share this newfound interest of mine with him.

I know he used to look at magazines before we moved in together many years ago, and certainly he has fantasies, but as far as I know he doesn't look at any porn now. I know that he doesn't look online because he wouldn't know how to hide his tracks and I check every once in a while. I never find any magazines either. I asked him one time to talk about his fantasies and he got shy about it and told me one that was very mild. I ask him what kind of girls turn him on and he swears I am the only thing he thinks about when masturbating. This can't be right, can it? I've hinted to him that I'd like to find some hard core that we can watch together and he didn't run with it. He really responds when I get what he calls "dirty" with him in bed, but since he is so sweet, it is hard for me to really let myself go.

Don't get me wrong, he is a manly, sexual person and loves me more than any man I've ever known to love a woman, but damn I'm craving more out of our sex life. And since he seems to be so "pristine" I am shy about sharing this with him. Maybe he just hides his inner nastiness from me because he thinks it will turn me off. The thing is I'm going to have to be the one who innitiates it, and I'm feeling shy. I would love to have some more dirty talk with him but I'm afraid it will freak him out.

What do you guys think?

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I say go for it! I live my life by a very simple modo, I don't have time for bullshit. I try and be upfront as much as possible with myself and everyone else. Life's too short to play games you know.

If you are not being honest with him about your sexual desires, than you are not being honest with yourself. You are turning towards other outlets of sensation rather than expressing these desires to the one person you are supposed to be able to share with. Bedroom boredom can lead to cheating. I have to ask are you afraid of sharing these things for fear of losing him or him changing his perception of you? If this is who you REALLY are why should it matter?

If it were me, I wouldn't hesitate for a second. I'd grab my lover and do every little dirty thing to them my heart desires.

Good luck in the pursuit of nastiness!

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Well...I am not surprised by this situation, my husband was similar. He was soooo wonderful to me, gentle, careful, nururing. He would do whatever I asked...if he was comfortable with it. He would never have watched porn with me, and his fantasy was always the same "sex under a waterfall on an island somewhere." Well whoppee shit! I wanted and needed more! I was really into kinky sex and stuff and I needed it from my new partner. One night I rented a porn, put it in, and called him into the living room. He sat and watched it and I could tell he was into watching - but he wasn't 'reacting' with me. After an honest discussion about it, he admitted that he felt porn was 'dirty' cause he got caught with it once in his teens and got into trouble. He also was embarrassed to be aroused by it and didn't want to 'cum' to soon.

I married this man and I can tell you, after a few years of being patient, loving and kind we now enjoy a wild sex life that includes everything from oral to anal, porn, role play, bondage and kink. How did I get this shy, southern boy to do these nasty things to me and with me? I asked him, showed him, played with him and demonstrated for him. I put my needs to be "taken" aside for a while and showed him how to do it. Now he is the lover of my dreams and I am still teaching him things as I learn too.

Ginger J is right - life is too short - don't be afraid to voice your desires. He probably wants to please you more than you know - give him the roadmap to get there with you!

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