Members CRASH_Romeo Posted January 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 I am 19 years old and my girlfriend has got more than just years on me. She's got a lot more experience. I lost my virginity to another older girl, so when we first started I wasn't worried about past encounters. But now we are in a full blown relationship and her past haunts me a little bit. She is only the 2nd girl I have ever slept with. I am a little insecure because the first time I slept with a girl, was the first time a girl had gotten me off. Meaning I had never been given anything. So I am slightly uncomfortable about some things. I truly love this girl and I want to be okay with everything, and have amazing sex with her too! Simple question: How do I get over a lover's past? I'm just afraid that I'm not able to please her as much as her past (more experienced) lovers. I know its not something I should really worry about and I'm trying as hard as I can not too. Any advice I'd appreciate. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted January 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Although it may be better if we knew a bit about her it still won't change the basic answer here! You are with her now and your past is apparently not a problem with her. Why shouldn't you be the same? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted January 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Remember she knows you are less experienced than her, and she will help you through this and guide you and tell you what she does and does not like. I mean just because she's had other lovers who may have had more experience, doesn't mean they were better. Sometimes having less experience makes the learning process more enjoyable and i believe it was Howard or Mikayla who said that the best part about good teachers is they make you do something over and over again...and it's all worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CRASH_Romeo Posted January 18, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 All I can say to you is GROW UP. You can't have your cake and eat it too! You want a woman with more experience than you have, so you can really learn how to pleasure women, but then you want to be worrying about all the men in her past? What is your basic malfunction? Here's a clue for you to help yourself deal with them: THEY ARE IN THE PAST. YOU are the present. If they were still attractive to her, she would not be with YOU! Get it?? You are Not promised any tomorrow, in life, or love. Count your blessings daily, always be sure to tell the people you love that you do love them, show your lover how much you love her every day, by lusting after her, flirting with her, and making her feel like the most special person on the planet. ( she is!) She should also treat you the same way. Make love to her whenever the two of you can find the time, and try to make every time you love her better than the last time. Make her feel special in every way you can. If you hit a dry spell and can't think of something more to do, ask us. We have Thousands of Ideas. My wives both had lovers before me. Neither wanted to talk about them very much, and I understood. For both of them, most of the breakups were not very genteel. Bringing them up was just a painful memory, so we didn't talk about them. I was as open as I could be about my past loves, when either asked. I was far more candid about what I had experience in doing as a lover, and what I didn't, what I wanted to do, and what questions I had for them, to help them teach me how to pleasure them. With that kind of candor, they frankly didn't care what I had done with someone else, or where I learned some " trick" or technique. They knew that those women were in my past, and they were my present, and they were the only one I cared about then. They did want to know who broke up with whom, and why, and how I reacted to it all. They asked me about my dating life, and how I dealt with rejection, or with being set up on a blind date with someone totally wrong for me. We had good laughs about all that, and I am sure they learned a lot about me, my character, and my sense of humor. I hope this helps you. If you can't get over worrying about her past loves, do her a favor, and leave her. She doesn't need an insecure lover who is going to be jealous of everyone she ever meets, or has known. Jealousy is the opposite side of a very thin dime, on the other side of which is self doubt. The question you need to ask yourself is, What is it about yourself that you don't like so much that you are letting it control and have total power over your life? When you answer that question, you can move on. It really is called " growing up". HowardGrowing up is easier said than done. I'm working on it. She was the one that wanted me, I warned her I was not ready for a relationship...but she convinced me otherwise which I am glad for...but whats better? A young insecure lover who actually cares about her or just another asshole that couldn't care less? Trust me I'm trying. Thanks for the responses Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 No offense to Howard, but, I think he's forgotten what it's like to be "new" and 19. At 19, you can't expect to be "all grown up". Maybe physically you look like a man, but mentally, you have a ways to go. I'm not meaning that in a bad or negative way in the least. The woman that you're with is probably well aware that you have a lot of growing AND learning to do. Now, as far as her past goes, well, that is up to YOU. Try and remember that her past lovers are just that, in the PAST. If she wanted to be with one of them, she would be, and not with you. So, just try and keep that in mind. Don't dwell on things like that, because, in all honesty, all that does is waste energy you could be channelling elsewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members synirr Posted January 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Can you think of any other guy your own age who would not give his left nut to be in your shoes right now?Haha, so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members veggywitch Posted January 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 I think we are in the same boat more or less (except I am a 19 year old girl) what I have found is that it helps talking openly anyway you can about how much you love him/her and then saying (in so many words) what do you want to try? what could we be doing better in your opinion.... dont feel like she has all this experience over you.... (bad wording but you know what I mean) maybe feel like you have doors to open and she has the keys... you know what I mean? explore new frontiers together... 'cause like she may have had other lovers but she is in love with you. took me awhile to realise that but my bf finely drilled it into my head... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CRASH_Romeo Posted January 21, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 The most difficult thing is the fact that she has loved before, and being so close with another person scares me sometimes. There are a lot of factors that tie into this but over the past few weeks we have been doing great. Thank you for your advice and comments. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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