Members sammy-warren Posted February 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2008 ok so i wrote in like 6 months ago and said i couldnt orgasm...i read the article in the sex ed bit and tried to 'explore myself' nothing i did seemed to feel at all 'nice' lol .....so me and my other half have been trying out different positions...lots of foreplay etc for a while now and we seem to have progressed a bit because now i think i get close but when he gets me to a certain point i have to make him stop because i cant handle it anymore, i cant explain the sensation but i just cant seem to handle it i have to make him stop.....my boyfriend says if he could just carry on he is pretty certain i would have an orgasm.... i have tried so many times just to let him 'get on with it' but i just dont seem to be able to handle it...is there anything i can to to try and finally have an orgasm? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted February 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2008 Also, in some women, the orgasm is, well, less than stellar (although, this is rare I believe). If you are having pleasant feelings, feeling a build-up, and then it is really sensitive - you may have had an orgasm and just not realized you passed from the build up to the release to the build-down. Or, for some women (myself included) an orgasm can get to the point and kind of 'hold itself off' which is in itself, annoying. It is almost like being tickled continuously. Then, when the orgasm comes (for me) it is a release and a relief. I enjoy the feeling though, and I also like be tickled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OPL Laundry Goddess Posted February 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2008 I'm going to piggyback on what Iha and Mikayla have said... If there is a slow and gradual build up of sexual at some point the body will crave the orgasm. If you've passed that point and the feeling is too intense or uncomfortable, you've probably short circuited the process at somewhere along the way. This is an area that has to be a slow build at least while you are learning your body cues. If the direct stimulation isn't working, try indirect stimulation... try some sensual play rather than sexual play, cuddle and touch fully clothed, take a bubble bath. Sometimes sex is one of those "less is more" situations.good luck,~the laundry goddess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sammy-warren Posted February 3, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 thank you everybody......will try out your breathing techniques when i am next with my boyfriend and hopefully i will finally be able to have an orgasm . cheers guys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sammy-warren Posted February 3, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 ok this might not be related at all but im quite self concious whilst having sex with my bf i have sometimes wondered if that is why i can not orgasm ? i do not know? might not be related at all? but when we do have sex it is great so im not really under pressure to want to have an orgasm because i am still enjoyin sex but would be a nice to actually have an orgasm too.would like to know what im missin out on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sammy-warren Posted February 3, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 no its nothing like that...im just not a very confident person, it sounds stupid but i sometimes get worried when we have sex that im not doing things right if you know what i mean? i have spoke to my boyfriend about this and he does reassure me but its still one of those things that is always in the back of my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members synirr Posted February 4, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 yes, its related, see my statement above: being overly self conscious can inhibit the fullness of pleasure...sounds like a needed article? Mikayla?I agree, I think this is a needed article. This is actually a problem I myself have. The first few times I am with a new partner I tend to concentrate too much on what I'm doing to them and kinda forget about myself... not that I don't thoroughly enjoy what I'm doing to them, haha, but I don't have enough experience under my belt yet to convince myself to relax the first few times. I'm working on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted February 4, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 I can remember feeling that same way at your age. Your mind is probable focusing on how you look, is he judging your body, are you doing this or that right, etc.. It's hard to turn off that "spectatoring" voice in your head when you are still insecure with yourself. Time and experience will help you, but you need to just tell yourself that everything about you is perfectly fine. He wouldn't be there with you if he did not want to be and he'll be enjoying the heck out of your sessions as long as you relax and just be yourself and let yourself get into it. Your nervousness and insecurity will leak thru and put both of you under unneccessary stress that may make it hard for you guys to really enjoy yourselves. Don't judge yourself harshly.....revel in being a sexual female and just let go. Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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