Members WinkAway Posted February 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Hello... I'm new here and have a question. I divorced under 2 yrs ago and honestly can't remember the last time I had an orgasm. I've been a bit of a nympho since the divorce and with all the men I've slept with, I haven't had an orgasm. I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm and it's starting to concern me.. any thoughts? advice? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WinkAway Posted February 10, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 Orgasm is not purely physical, of course, it is also deeply psychological, emotional, and even spiritual. Not to get too Freudian, but when there are unresolved issues for a person relationally (not just in the previous coupled relationship, but with family of origin members and our own children, if we have any), this can inhibit and alter a person's sexual response. for example, this is what classic 'nymphomania' really is: a person (usually female) that has compulsive sexual relations without being able to find any satisfaction (physically, emotionally, spiritually). The source of the problem for the nymphomaniac ( a term no longer used in psychology) can be one or more of many things: guilt over having sexual feelings or behaviors, having been sexually abused as a child or adult, or not being able to develop a deep, intimate attachment to one selected lover, or not being able to get comfortable and relaxed enough with anyone other than the lover that she spent so much time with...and these are only a very few of the possibilities that may inhibit a person's sexual functioning.On the other hand, orgasm is also a function of getting the right amount and good quality of sexual stimulation; without these, a person is not likely to reach and go over the threshold heightened arousal and threshold of orgasmic release. If you are able to orgasm on your own, then the problem could be the amount/quality issue, and/or the unresolved relational issues. If you are unable to orgasm on your own (but you used to be able to, then it may be more clear that the problem is unresolved relational issues. And, don't forget the role stress and overall health play in the big "O' picture.Sexual dysfunctions develop over time, and for usually pretty clear reasons (but not to the sufferer). Sometimes, it helps to go get some counseling with a person who is skilled in these areas.Hello.. I just wanted to thank you for the response. I had read somewhere that it was probably all in my head, but I don't feel like anything is bothering me in a way that would affect me sexually. I am the one who asked for the divorce and very glad I did.. so I'm having a hard time trying to figure that one out. Isn't there some kid of women's version of "the blue pill"? Something that helps with the blood flow down there? I looked this up on the internet and didn't see anything. It's just so frustrating. I've had some great sex with a couple of guys who were very well indowed, but didn't cum. ugh... and it's embarrasing to get the nerve up to ask my doctor, but maybe I'll have to bite the bullet there and just ask. Thanks again for your great response...very helpful.Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted February 10, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 Hello.. I just wanted to thank you for the response. I had read somewhere that it was probably all in my head, but I don't feel like anything is bothering me in a way that would affect me sexually. I am the one who asked for the divorce and very glad I did.. so I'm having a hard time trying to figure that one out. Isn't there some kid of women's version of "the blue pill"? Something that helps with the blood flow down there? I looked this up on the internet and didn't see anything. It's just so frustrating. I've had some great sex with a couple of guys who were very well indowed, but didn't cum. ugh... and it's embarrasing to get the nerve up to ask my doctor, but maybe I'll have to bite the bullet there and just ask. Thanks again for your great response...very helpful.KimViva CreamThis cream is very good, I highly recommend it, it may be an otc choice for enhancement. hth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted February 10, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 I think that there is sometimes this assumption that leaving a bad relationship will make us free and sexually energized, and honestly, it doesn't work that way. IF you were not having orgasms in your relationship, then simply leaving that relationship isn't going to guarantee the O's. I think you probably need some time to relearn about your body, your likes, dislikes.I wrote a pretty in-depth article on masturbation and orgasm. In it, I suggest ways for women to recharge and reconnect themselves, I have heard it termed 'self cultivation.' I would take a moment to read my article, then try to do some of the techniques I suggest. Get to love yourself again. You left a bad relationship because you loved yourself enough not to stay and be unhappy, now give yourself permission to be happy with yourself and your own pleasure.Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members froggystyle1977 Posted February 10, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 You have recieved some very good Advice and talking to your doctor may be a very good idea!!! I just wanted to wish you good luck!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WinkAway Posted February 11, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 I just wanted to say thanks for the great advice! I'll let you know if I get "success" any time soon lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.