Sub/dom Role Play?

[dard!8598]

I've gradually discovered over the years that some of my sexual fantasies fall under the "sub" type, that it would be exciting to be sexually submissive to a woman in some ways. In considering this more, I also discovered another side of my sexuality, which is that I could also assume a dominant role with a woman, although this is not as pronounced. My problem is how to do something with these fantasies outside my head. I'm happily married for many years and the advice I anticipate is to tell my wife and to see what she's willing to experiment with, but this is not something that I'd enjoy doing; it's difficult to explain, but we've worked hard over the years to develop a functional "balance of power" in our relationship and any sex play involving dominance would work against this...in fact, it's not at all erotic for me. The other option is going someplace and paying a domme, which is also out, because it's too close to cheating on my wife for my tastes. The only thing I can think of is that I'd enjoy a bit of on-line role play with a like-minded person, acting our sub or dom fantasies in words. But I don't know any place to do this. Any comments or ideas? Thanks!

mike03

[thurisas]

Well, first you have to decide whether or not you're going to share the idea of having cyber with someone else with your wife. Some people consider this type of interaction cheating. If your wife is one of those people, you're setting yourself up for trouble.

My suggestion for you is to tell your wife about this fantasy and actually see where it goes. You may have a balance of power in your relationship and this shouldn't change that. You're offering up the idea of being a sub here and so the is no loss for you are only on that footing so long as you wish to be. Who knows, she may even want to take turns.

The thing that concerns me about your post, though, is that you have outright said that you wouldn't enjoy this interaction with your wife. It seems to me you're more interested in bringing another person's dynamic to your sex-life other than your wife. I think you need to explore the reasons behind that before you go too much farther with this line of thinking.

Thurisas.