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Is It Possible My So Doesn't Masturbate?


becca011906

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I have only caught him in the act 1 time in the 9 years we've been together. and it was about a week after having our 2nd baby so ya know we weren't exactly having any sex at the time. I walked out to the livingroom in the middle of the night to take a pain pill and found him looking at porn online... other then that i've never found him at it EVER!!! Although he does lock the door every single time he showers but usally he's in there the same amount of time never longer then others maybe he only does it in there... again i need to open up this line of comunication.... I only do it on nights he's working although i happens pretty fast for me i can be done in 10 min tops but he could come in on me at any time and i think that's kinda thrilling to me since he came stop in at home any time durring his shift. So again he's never found me in the act and I still do it so yet another reason to talk about stuff... i love all the things this great board has been bringing to my attention. we could both be having fun with the whole materbation thing... i think it goes back to when your a kid and told you only do that in private or that it's a dirty thing you aren't supose to do... ;)

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More than likely, his shower time is also his masturbation time. Most married couples don't lock the door when they shower, unless they really DON'T want to be walked in on. It could very well be that he considers that something to only do alone, and as privately as possible. It's unfortunate, cuz masturbation nights, mutual masturbation, even phone sex between you when he's at work, is all wonderful ways to stay or reconnect with your lover!

I have to agree with your statement, this is a line of communication that you need to open up.

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LMAO!!! Ok i don't think we should risk it when he's at work... i'd be to worried he'd hit the 'call' on this radio ... he's a cop not to cool if he's conversation went over the radio!!! LOL we both always lock the door to the bathroom since the kids got old enough to let themselfs in... LOL But just be me start talking about differant things I think he was always worried to talk about differant stuff or to bring it up thinking i didn't want to and now that i have started talking about them he's so open and more relaxed!!!!

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I suppose it is possible, but at the same time...so what if he does??

With us (my husband & I) we rarely do it alone, we make a thing out of it together. If he did though I would want to know about it just so I could jump in on the fun!! When we are apart is a whole 'nother story LOL There is alot of phone sex, story writing, video watching & single time.

Anyways, I havn't quite hit my quota of coffee today so I tend to babble & not make any sense.

What I am trying to say is open the line of communication for it. Depending on his thinkin' on the whole thing (its bad,etc) I don't think you could just bust out with it over the mashed potatoes. Maybe one night, all sexy like, tell him you got to thinking about him the last time he was out & you couldn't help yourself...then lead in through there.

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Oh i dont' mind that he 'does' at all. I just found it odd that in 9 years i've never found him in the act! LOL although i've always had a feeling it's been his 'shower time'. i'l find the time to open the line of communication when the time is right!~ thanks again.

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He may not want to talk about it either, masturbation time is great together, but I also value my alone time. It's time to make love to just me, and I don't want anyone with me. It's like my own private world.

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My second husband NEVER masturbated after the age of 19 or 20. He was told it was evil, and that he would go to hell. 25 years later, he still believed it.

oh god i am so going to hell then. so whos with me on the short bus?

anyway would you really want to walk in on him all the time if he is? or get him in the act?

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well i guess i don't want to find him in the act but just to know he does to it... i'm sure he does that after thinking it all over. i mean i do it often and haven't ever been found by him... but about 80% of the time it's while he's working although as i've said he could stop by the house any time he wanted to durring his working shift.

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Coming back to this post and reading this response, it sounds to me, and I might be wrong. But it sounds like you have a jealousy thing happening with it if he is.

well i guess i don't want to find him in the act but just to know he does to it and but about 80% of the time it's while he's working although as i've said he could stop by the house any time he wanted to durring his working shift and from your first post: again i need to open up this line of comunication.... I only do it on nights he's working

Why is it so important, his masturbation time must obviously be happening on his alone time or else you'd be in the room.

I'd leave it alone if it were me. His time is his time. no one else's.

But if you want together masturbation time then ask him for it. But his alone time is his private time. Just my .02 cents.

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I have to agree with Aiden here. Being younger and/or insecure can make you wonder about things that you're unsure of. As far as your SO masturbating, or not. The majority of men do. Just leave it at that. It's not like he's having an affair on you, or replacing you with his shower time, right?

He obviously wants private time, for whatever reason, to masturbate, if he's doing so, and should be allowed that, guilt & pressure free. You masturbate when he's not home, what's the difference? People masturbate, whether it's for the quick release, the endorphins, the release stress, help then sleep, whatever. It's really not a big deal, unless you make it such.

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Its common not to catch your SO in the act. I have been with my Hubby for 7 years

and I have never caught him, I am pretty sure he does and I am positive he knows

I do. When I take me time its for me not for him or anyone else and I am sure he is

the same way.

I have to agree with the others you should just leave it.

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guess my posts weren't really coming across the right way at all.... i'm so not jealous at all. I just figured after 9 years of being together i would have found him in the act more then 1 time... guess i was wrong. I just had read a few differant posts about being able to do it together and it sounds interesting... so i guess i'm not asking for him at all to never do it alone, i mean that'd be me giving up my time as well. I guess the line of communitcation to open up is something new to add to our play time but not to take it out of our own private time... sorry i was miss understood.

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It is entirely possible that he does not mastubate at all or at least not very often. I have been with my SO for about 10 years and I have to say that I have probably only solo masturbated 10 times in ten years. Those times were right after child birth. The lack of solo masturbation is for a couple reasons. A. My SO gives me what I need. B. I am generally a once a day man so if I waste it and she comes looking for some that night I have a real problem on my hands. (No pun intended :-) ). If you are giving him hand jobs or BJ's when you don't want to or can't have sex he may be satisfied. If you really are curious you may try describing to him the first time you masturbated while thinking of him. Then try asking him the same thing. It makes for interesting pillow talk if nothing else! This would bring the subject up for discussion with out directly asking him and may lead to a more interesting sex life. I personally enjoy hearing my SO describe her solo encounters while I am away overnight for work or something. I think it is safe to say most guys like hearing about that sort of thing.

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I'm sorry we misunderstood you. This is a great post to point out that we can only discern what is written in a post, and can't read things into posts. Unfortunately, "tones" are inferences don't come across that well in text on a screen. The way things were written, it did sound like you were a bit concerned, and possibly jealous, that he masturbated alone.

I mean, it is entirely possible that he doesn't masturbate. Some men don't. Most men do. If you want to get in on the Masturbation Nights, why not suggest that one night you want to watch him, while he watches you, and you can just masturbate together. There's nothing to say it can't progress into something more, or, have a rule that says that neither one of you can touch the other. It's all up to you, and it's all about fun with your spouse with Adult Play Time!

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I'm sorry we misunderstood you. This is a great post to point out that we can only discern what is written in a post, and can't read things into posts. Unfortunately, "tones" are inferences don't come across that well in text on a screen. The way things were written, it did sound like you were a bit concerned, and possibly jealous, that he masturbated alone.

I mean, it is entirely possible that he doesn't masturbate. Some men don't. Most men do. If you want to get in on the Masturbation Nights, why not suggest that one night you want to watch him, while he watches you, and you can just masturbate together. There's nothing to say it can't progress into something more, or, have a rule that says that neither one of you can touch the other. It's all up to you, and it's all about fun with your spouse with Adult Play Time!

I agree with tyger Have fun with it!!!!!!!!!!!

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thanks guys... i guess i just get frustrated on forums often when the dang text doesn't come out the way i mean for it too... plus i really hate having my age brough up in any issues mainly b/c i see myself as a much older then 24 much older, i've been married for 6 years, w/ the same guy for 9 years, have 3 kids, I do understand why it was brough up though ... come to think about it maybe Junior 88 is right I mean usally he'll let me know if he wants a quicky, hand job, bj, ect and if i'm not busy sure i don't mind! But again i'm over it now if he does he does if he doesn't oh well... :) thanks for being understanding everyone and for pointing out things i hadn't though about!

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