I Love It But What Next?

[shawnalee]

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER NOW FOR 11 YEARS. I'M ONLY 25 SO HE'S THE ONLY MAN I HAVE EVER BEEN WITH. WE LOVE HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY WE CAN THINK OF, WHICH I THINK IS GREAT CONSIDERING WE HAVE THREE KIDS UNDER 4 AND FULL TIME JOBS. BUT IT SEEMS TO GET A LITTLE REPETITIVE AND PREDICTABLE. WE ARE BOTH VERY OPEN AND HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING SEXUALLY SHORT OF BRINGING IN A PERSON TO JOIN US. (WHICH IS MY HUSBANDS FANTASY BUT I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT) I GUESS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT WE HAVE A LONG LIFE TOGETHER FOR MANY, MANY MORE SEXUAL ADVENTURES SO DOES THE EXCITEMENT KEEP GOING DOWN HILL WITH THE MORE SEX EXPERIENCE YOU GET? WHAT CAN WE DO TO KEEP THE EXCITEMENT LEVEL THAT WE HAVE RIGHT NOW? PLEASE HELP ME IF YOU CAN.

[thurisas]

I guess my first question would be have you started reading through the sex education articles under the sex education tab below the TooTimid banner at the top of this page? There are many articles in there that are relavent to this sort of situation and that can give you ideas going forward. Ultimately, though, it takes communication between you and your partner inside and outside of the bedroom to determine what really turns you on. Keep in mind that as you go through life the way you look at things tends to change so a fantasy that wasn't there when you first started having sex could have formulated over the years. You are only as limited in this respect as your imagination.

Regarding the idea of a threesome, I would look at the threesome section of the forum and look at both the success stories and the failure stories. I will say that without complete trust in your partner and unless you have a very solid, jealousy free relationship, this may just be a fantasy that should stay a fantasy. To that end, however, you may try incorporating a toy for him to replace "the other woman" or one for you to replace "the other man" depending on what dynamic you were looking for.

I'm sure others will have more input, but I hope this helps.

Randy.

[Mikayla1]

Honey, you are so young and have a lot on your plate! While I think that you finding ways to strengthen your marriage and spice up your sex life is great, I am always amazed at these couples who have been married for 5 years or so who say things are getting 'boring!' I have been married for 12 years and things are not boring for me yet!

You have 3 kids under 4 - bless you woman - that is a feat in and of itself. Full time job on top of it - whoa! How do you even find time for sex! My guess is, sex is the 'quickie before the kids get up' kind of thing. SO my first suggestion would be to find a babysitter and have a 'date' with the hubby which includes sex. Relax and connect with each other first - since it is lack of connection that often causes sex to seem unsatisfying. If you can get someone to take the kids (at least the older ones) for a night, that would be great too. Then you can take your time and just reconnect.

I am with Thur, spend some time reading the articles, get ideas, look at old threads (including the threesome ones) and then try to make a decision about how to procede. I think that fantasies are great, but for some people that is exactly what a threesome should stay - so think hard about that one and read up on personal experiences.

I hope that you find what will work for you and your hubby - but also remember, one person in a relationship can not float the whole responsibility of it. He has to be willing to put in the effort too!

Good luck - have FUN!

[shawnalee]

You both have some really great ideas. I read a few of the articles on this website and was really impressed by the sexual knowlege of the authors. After simply reading for a short period of time, I got the urge to wake my sleeping husband and ravage him. He was greatfull for the wake up call. Thanks for helping us out!

Kat