Newbie buchtky Posted May 11, 2008 Newbie Report Share Posted May 11, 2008 I am having a bit of a problem. I was a virgin till I got married, as was my husband. I have been married for almost 2 yrs and I have never cum. I feel like its something I am doing. Its like when I feel the excitment building up I adjust myself or something. Is it me? Is there something that my husband should be doing. Im so lost and my husband really feels inadequate. What can I do!?!? Please help!!~Shy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted May 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2008 Iha's answer is EXCELLENT [as per usual]Now, if you would like a little 'practical instruction' go to the Sex Ed tab at the top and find my articles on orgasm. That may help a bit. Remember, relax, it will happen, it is a naturaly occurring phenomenon in the body-witht he right stimulation of course! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted May 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2008 It's not that you 'can't cum', you just haven't yet![/quote ]I'm with iha!!!More info please so we can help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tklamorin Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Hi, I have the same problem...My husband is the only person I've ever been with, we started dating 6 1/2 years ago, and have been married for almost 5 years. I have never had an orgasm...ever. I have been masterbating for a long time, but I never get anywhere. It feels good, then really good, then nothing. It's like I lose all feeling, and if I try to keep going, it starts to hurt. It SUCKS!!!! I feel frusterated and angry. My husband feels bad, as there is rarely a day that he doesn't cum. I enjoy sex, I have a strong sex drive, I just don't really get anything out of it and it is frusterating beyond belief. I even mentioned it to my dr. and she said "just try more things" How unhelpful can you get???? I have read all of Mikayla's articles, but I just can't make it happen. Soooo, I guess I'm saying I feel your pain lolKmorn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 I used to be just like you both. I finally did it via masturbation and then for many years I could only get there from oral or manual stimulation. It is VERY frustrating but you are not alone! The thing that helped me was I tried some lube. It helped me to continue so I didn't get sore and I am telling you the first few times it took a LONG time. The key is letting go and feeling what is happening. Fantasize about your husband doing whatever arouses you and go with it. Also go slow, use light touches until you are really aroused then increase speed pressure etc. concentrate on your clit, how engorged it is getting, what you like to feel little circles up and down etc. Another thing I NEVER used to do was stimulate my clit during sex. I was like EWWW I didn't want him to see me doing that, like it was bad or something!!! That is just nuts! He finally convinced me to do it after like 10 years of marriage!!! MAN was I missing out! Now I have multiple orgasms every time! Read some articles here, there is great stuff on every imaginable topic. Don't feel bad you aren't "broken". Your body is meant to have this pleasure it is made for it so explore until you figure out what works for you!!! You deserve it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 I think having an orgasm is one of those things that the more you try, the more frustrated you become. Sun_flower's advice is great. IMHO, Sex is like a journey. You find out all sorts of things about yourself and your partner along the way. Just don't give up. Try to appreciate the sensual side of yourself and find what feels good...light touch, kisses, focus on anything but the clit for a while. Then find out how you like to be stimulated by yourself or with your partner. Many women don't recognize their first O because they think it is going to be an explosion of feeling. It is not always like that at first...sometimes it is just the build-up of tension and release. When you can relax with your partner, give and take in equal measure, the you will begin to feel more sensations. You both have been married for a few years so there has to be a lot of frustration built up over this issue of whether or no you are capable of having an orgasm. Consider stepping back and starting over...with no expectations this time...starting out fresh and just enjoy each sex act for what it is. Try not to focus so much on the "end". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members laurilynt Posted November 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 16, 2008 You guys all make me feel so lucky. I have never had a problem with the big O. I think that everyone here has covered the advice already i just wanted to say don't give up there will be a light at the end of a tunnel...good luck!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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