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Hi it's me again. I need some advise. My husband loves me with all his heart and then some. Well I have a problem within myself. I don't want him to see me naked. I am terrified about his reaction. I am over weight and I hate to even look at myself. I have tried working out, dieting a have spent a good amount on diet programs, none has worked. He has only seen me nude a few times and that was because I had surgery and couldn't bathe and dress myself. I guess what I am asking is how do I do it. He will be home in a 49 days for R&R and I want to be completely open to him. I will take any advise. I am terrified.

Thanks me.

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Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are a beautiful woman..I've seen that pic/avatar. You may not be used to your figure the way you are right now, but I guarantee your hubby will be happy to see you. Stand in front of the mirror and instead of concentrating on all the flaws you see (we all see them in ourselves..in fact, usually that's all we see) and focus on positive things. "I have beautiful eyes...I have a long neck....I have beautiful breasts...my legs are hot", etc. Look specifically for positive things...yes, they ARE there, but we women are so conditioned to see only the negative it may take some practice for you. Once you can see that your are beautiful, you will become comfortable in your own skin, no matter what size, and then you will stand proudly in front of hubby.

I always thought 'thin was in" and worked very hard my whole life to be skinny, not thin. I asked a male friend once how he felt about his wife being overweight. (She was a NORMAL) He looked at me like I was crazy and said he would much rather have a woman like her than someone skinny like me!! Whoa..was I shot down.

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Thank u Pinky. I hope to do this his first night home so I can get it out the way. I feel like a virgin on her wedding night. My stomach is in knots. I am so excited to explore this aspect pf our relationship. The sex before was like once a few weeks or sadly maybe once a month. So I want to go into this free with my husband. I love this man so much and I want to make him happy. Am I crazy for feeling this way. He is my husband for gods sake. :(

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Thank u Pinky. I hope to do this his first night home so I can get it out the way. I feel like a virgin on her wedding night. My stomach is in knots. I am so excited to explore this aspect pf our relationship. The sex before was like once a few weeks or sadly maybe once a month. So I want to go into this free with my husband. I love this man so much and I want to make him happy. Am I crazy for feeling this way. He is my husband for gods sake. :(

You are not crazy for feeling this way. I'm overweight and not the girl my husband married as far as size and shape...but when it comes to loving and sex...he doesn't see that. Pinky is right....spend some time really looking for the good things. It's hard some times, but they are there. Your husband is going to love you and want to be with you no matter what. And if you're even more open and willing to do this when he gets home...I can't think of anything he's going to love more. You can do it...just believe in yourself!

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Don't let the magazines set your standards of what is beautiful. Your man loves you and it's obvious. He doesn't see these self-proclaimed flaws. You may not be the same woman he married but he isn't the same man either. He has really grown and matured in his absence.

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thank you for that i have told her for along time everything u guys have said. but then again im her husband an she thinks im saying it because im suppose to. but its more then that an i want her to see that. the only look in my eyes will be true luv. i cant wait tell i get home an show her how much i missed her.

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awww baby you are sexy

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yes an cant wait

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20 years since I was in that spot and I still remember that feeling!

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my 2nd tour 1 back in 2003 (marines then) an now with the army

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That's rough! Doesn't matter which of these two branches you do time with both are up front and metal meets the meat branches. Don't relax your guard even for a second! We're all hoping to hear a lot more from you when you are home!

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Hi it's me again. I need some advise. My husband loves me with all his heart and then some. Well I have a problem within myself. I don't want him to see me naked. I am terrified about his reaction. I am over weight and I hate to even look at myself. I have tried working out, dieting a have spent a good amount on diet programs, none has worked. He has only seen me nude a few times and that was because I had surgery and couldn't bathe and dress myself. I guess what I am asking is how do I do it. He will be home in a 49 days for R&R and I want to be completely open to him. I will take any advise. I am terrified.

Thanks me.

You are beautiful no matter what your size. It comes from within... Don't believe that? Well it's hard for me too. I know for myself even though I also am not a stick model, when I dress up I feel so much better and more confident! Whether it be lingerie or a dress and heels I always feel better!. So pamper yourself maybe the day before, get your hair done maybe buy a new outfit/lingerie. Landscape the yard if you know what I mean. ;) As far as diets. I did low carb dieting for like a year and lost 45 lbs. If you can handle changing your eating habits, this diet rocks. I did practically no exercising! Still the weight came off very easily! If you can stick to it I bet you could lose 10-20 lbs before he comes home! Just really reduce your carb intake, cut out sweets and drink water and diet drinks. Lots of protein and veggies. I am telling you I lost 2-4 lbs per week on this diet. I lost 10 the first week! Still, he loves you the way you are! Believe it and enjoy the love he showers on you!

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SPend some time being naked on your own in the house just so you get used to the feeling, Almost all women look at their bodies in a much more harsh way than men do. We'll see a lump here, and a bump there, and all they really see when they love you is you, your waist, your lovely bum, he's thinking about your soft lips, how it's going to feel when your hands are on him, remeber that while he's looking at you he's also "seeing" your kindess and the fact that you're sweet and caring and can make him laugh. When you're looking at yourself you're focusing on physical things only.

All of us are beautiful packages, not just pretty paper.

I've had similar problems with being naked too, for a while I went up to 16 stone and was a UK size 22 (not sure how that relates to US sizes), even though I had some guys like me I was so distubred and down about how big I was I couldn't even kiss them let alone have a successfuly relationship. I've lost weight, I'm not thin, but I feel so much better about myself, I mean SO MUCH. My main problem is my legs, they're quite big and just icky so I started off with my bf only wandering around when it was dark. After I had a shower in the morning I would get dressed doing my best to stay under the towel. Then a thought occurred to me, the man has been inside me, hell he's even said he doesn't care when I haven't had time to defuzz and allmany of other things I find horrendous.

You guys obviously love each other an incredible amount, remember that your hubby is going to see the WHOLE, scrumptious person that you are.

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You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for the encouragement. This site is awesome and the people here are amazing. I know he doesn't care he just said so. But damn if I can just get past this I will shake what child birth gave me lol. I wish I could walk around naked but I have to very young boys and the thought that they might wake up freaks me the hell out. When my husband comes home I have it planned, well kinda. So I will keep everyone posted on my progress. I hope to loose some weight before then. But I am not holding my breath for diabetes has kicked my butt. but maybe when it is all over I will post some pic of my new bod with clothes on of course. ;)

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You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for the encouragement. This site is awesome and the people here are amazing. I know he doesn't care he just said so. But damn if I can just get past this I will shake what child birth gave me lol. I wish I could walk around naked but I have to very young boys and the thought that they might wake up freaks me the hell out. When my husband comes home I have it planned, well kinda. So I will keep everyone posted on my progress. I hope to loose some weight before then. But I am not holding my breath for diabetes has kicked my butt. but maybe when it is all over I will post some pic of my new bod with clothes on of course. ;)

Coco - it is Coco right?

You are lovely! Don't let anyone tell you any different. And please be careful with diet and your diabetes. Good luck!

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Coco - it is Coco right?

You are lovely! Don't let anyone tell you any different. And please be careful with diet and your diabetes. Good luck!

Thank u I will.

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Coco - I am the same way. I had a very hard time with this. It has just been within the last five months or so that I am not having a problem with this. My SO has made me feel very comfortable and that helped. The first night we were together I laugh as he was giving me a massage and next thing I knew I was just about naked. I think that helped some as I didn't get a chance to analyze it. I was still a little nervous that night about it. For instance I would go in the bathroom and shut the door. Then he went to go get in the shower and asked me if I wanted to and I hid under the covers. We talked about it some and about my insecurities. Like he said we are not judging each other...we love each other for who we are. We are our own centerfold's so to say. He is completely right I know that he is not judging me or anythinglike that. Now I am completely comfortable in no matter what we are doing....clothed or naked. I get up and walk around completely naked, leave the bathroom door open and I allow him to come in with me while I am going to the bathroom or while we are taking a shower. I have never done any of that.

Part of it is over analyzing things that needs to be worked past. I am very glad that I did that. Now I wouldn't have it any other way.

You are very beautiful...remember that.

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Coco - I am the same way. I had a very hard time with this. It has just been within the last five months or so that I am not having a problem with this. My SO has made me feel very comfortable and that helped. The first night we were together I laugh as he was giving me a massage and next thing I knew I was just about naked. I think that helped some as I didn't get a chance to analyze it. I was still a little nervous that night about it. For instance I would go in the bathroom and shut the door. Then he went to go get in the shower and asked me if I wanted to and I hid under the covers. We talked about it some and about my insecurities. Like he said we are not judging each other...we love each other for who we are. We are our own centerfold's so to say. He is completely right I know that he is not judging me or anythinglike that. Now I am completely comfortable in no matter what we are doing....clothed or naked. I get up and walk around completely naked, leave the bathroom door open and I allow him to come in with me while I am going to the bathroom or while we are taking a shower. I have never done any of that.

Part of it is over analyzing things that needs to be worked past. I am very glad that I did that. Now I wouldn't have it any other way.

You are very beautiful...remember that.

It seems like u know exactly how I feel. I would love to shower with him and not have to think about it. He is my heart. I would do anything to make him happy. I hate the fact that we make love and I have a long shirt on. Or the fact that I have to make sure that he has to be out the room before I take a shower. I hate locking the door.

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I have to agree with the others. You need to be comfortable in your own skin. You're a beautiful woman and he loves you very much.

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Well I have made up my mind. I just gonna do it. The first night. Hunny I love you. And I am gonna bare it all for you. I'm gonna put my shyness aside. I'm gonna make u a promise. I may no get skinny, but I will get healthy and thats the best gift I can give you.

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Coco - you are a gorgeous black woman! I can see why your hubby is crazy for you! There's some really great advice in this thread already. But bottom line, you need to get comfortable with your own skin.

As previously stated, many women's magazines give women a false sense of what the standard is. Lets face it, size 0 is not a standard. So you need to learn to throw those ideals out and go with what you got! Did you know Marilyn Monroe was a size 14? No one's body is perfect. The real trick is figuring out how to except your flaws and feel sexy in your own skin. Its all about knowing what you got and working it!

A couple of things I can suggest:

1. Lock your door and look at yourself in a mirror. Get used to seeing yourself naked and be ok with your body, imperfections and all.

2. Write a log of everything, yes EVERYTHING, you eat for two weeks. Try going to a dietician and a doctor and show them your food log. You may not realize a food or food group you're eating could be reacting negatively. They also might be able to suggest some alternatives.

3. Do something nice for yourself that makes you feel sexy. A big part of this is your self esteem levels.

4. Since you can't really walk around your house naked, try just wearing less clothes. Maybe you have some pajama short bottoms and a tank top.

This is a hard journey and takes time. But I'm sure all the wonderful advice you're getting from everyone here might help you become more comfortable. I wish you the best of luck.

Best,

Ginger

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Well I have made up my mind. I just gonna do it. The first night. Hunny I love you. And I am gonna bare it all for you. I'm gonna put my shyness aside. I'm gonna make u a promise. I may no get skinny, but I will get healthy and thats the best gift I can give you.

Everyone has posted such wonderful posts to you, hot, but this one made me smile the most cuz it was what I was going to say! *laugh* Sometimes, the only way to start getting over that hump (no pun intended) is just to DO IT.

I'm overweight. I have health problems that don't help the situation either. I also have a mother who likes to remind me I'm not a skinny woman (even though she's bigger than me). After years and years of looking in the mirror and noting my BEAUTIES instead of my FLAWS, I STILL don't LOVE my body, but I'm much happier with it. I'm not trying to turn this into a "me" post, just trying to show you you're not alone and it takes a loooong time to get through that thought process. But once you get your hubby alone in your bedroom and the two of you can be together as you haven't been able to be for so long, just drop your clothes to the floor, strike a silly pose to get yourself laughing and comfortable with yourself, even for that moment, then pounce on him and let him remind you how he sees you.

:)

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Hey I just wanted to say hello first off and wow everyone here has already given so MUCH advice and true wisdom.

That is you in your avatar I assume right? You are absolutely stunning! Take some time to learn to feel comfortable in your own skin and like everyone has said, focus on your strengths and ignore the weaknesses, everyone has them! Instead, we learn to embrace those amazing qualities we posses that others may not have. It takes time but I know that you're beautiful as does everyone else here :) hang in there. I know your hubby would love to see you and embrace you as you are. :)

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You are beautiful, and Your husband loves you. Now love yourself enough to be fully loved. He'll adore you when he sees you. The first time will be the hardest, so just do it!

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