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A Little Ass Kickin' Would Help!


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Rules for the Non-Military

Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited

to join the military.

For those of

you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are

a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a

hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their


2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the

American Flag in protest - kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served,

pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you

see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and

explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they

bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices

these veterans made to make this Nation great.

Then hold them down while a

disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT

pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs)

or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be

'Special Forces,' and collecting GI Joe memorabilia,

might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it

will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not

ask them, 'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the

Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an

ass-kicking (children are exempt).

6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard

'non-military', inform them of their mistake - and

kick their ass.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a

parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by

placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the

military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her -

of course, failure to do either of

those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military

member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the

same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of

Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The

President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC

regardless of political party. We have no inside track on

what happens inside those big important

buildings where all those representatives meet; all we know

is that when those civilian representatives screw up the

situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it

out.. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions

repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

9. 'Your mama wears combat boots.' never made

sense to me - stop saying It! If she did, she would most

likely be a vet and therefore could kick your ass!

10. bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop

saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop

asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard

issue in the military. That reminds me - if you see anyone

calling those damn psychic phone numbers,

let me know, so I can go kick their ass!

11. 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead'

(Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy),

'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of

endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a

service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use

them. Using them could get your ass kicked.

12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a

member of the military, support our troops and their


. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you

enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there

are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and

airmen far from home wishing they could be with their

families. Thank God for our

military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without

them, our country would get it's 'ass kicked.'

'It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given

us the freedom of the press.'

'It's the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who

gives us the freedom to demonstrate.'

'It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves

beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag,

who allows the protester to burn the flag.'

One more:

13. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing

the national anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS.

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