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How Gay Is Gay ?

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In my almost 9 year relationship with my partner, I've noticed that I have taken the role of the wife and him as the husband. I still have some of my "straight male" mannerisms, um ... I sometimes can be messy, I don't like to clean house all the time.

I've grown up with women most of my life, so that is why I feel comfortable with them when discussing "icky" issues ... ( LOL ).

I've been questioning myself lately about, that if I was meant to be a woman instead of a man, ( but what defines one as such sex, it's gender ? it's mind or body ? )

I've even though what I would look like as a woman, ( and what everyone think of me as a different sex ).

When in public, I do not act a certain way, ( i.e fem/butch ) I am just who I am, and if others see that as being Gay, so be it, ( I am very comfortable being Gay ).

But what would it be like as a Woman ?

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This is a very, very complex subject!

First, you can definitely be gay/lesbian (being attracted to the same sex and having intimate relationships with them) and NOT be transgendered or transexual. The two are completely different.

For a majority of homosexual people, they are simply attacted to the same sex. There is no want or desire to 'be the opposite sex.' They just like same-sex sex.

Now, for a very few there is a feeling of being in the wrong body, having more traits of the opposite sex, feeling more comfortable in clothing of the opposite sex. For some this pull is VERY strong - they don't like their genitalia, they want to BE that opposite sex. For some, it is just a little mannerism issue. As you describe, they may be slightly more feminine or masculine. This does not conclusively make the person want to be the opposite sex.

The only person who truly can understand this is yourself. If you FEEL like you were born in the wrong body, are disgusted by your genetalia, want to dress in women's clothing, having breats and a vagina - and you feel THAT will make you complete - then it is more than just being gay.

However, if you just want to wear some bras and panties, but like your body and feel good as a man, then you may be transexual. This is completely different.

If, however, you just seem to be the less dominant one in the relationship - this just means you are most likely the bottom - the person who is the receiver and giver and not the taker or doer.

Does any of this make sense?

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this makes some-what sense. in my coming out stages, i have worn women's clothing but did not find them all that comfortable, felt kind of naked. i am one who tends to wear tons of layers of clothing, i.e baggy jeans.

i have to say this, ( but i look forward to changing this of myself this new year to come )

i am the more dominant one in my relationship, and i am the full bottom, ( have tried to top but doesn't get me "off" ).

so, if you could please explain further, why do i feel this way ?

here is my own personal e-mail address:


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