Blueberry122178

this makes some-what sense. in my coming out stages, i have worn women's clothing but did not find them all that comfortable, felt kind of naked. i am one who tends to wear tons of layers of clothing, i.e baggy jeans. i have to say this, ( but i look forward to changing this of myself this new year to come ) i am the more dominant one in my relationship, and i am the full bottom, ( have tried to top but doesn't get me "off" ). so, if you could please explain further, why do i feel this way ? here is my own personal e-mail address: blueberry122178@aol.com

In my almost 9 year relationship with my partner, I've noticed that I have taken the role of the wife and him as the husband. I still have some of my "straight male" mannerisms, um ... I sometimes can be messy, I don't like to clean house all the time. I've grown up with women most of my life, so that is why I feel comfortable with them when discussing "icky" issues ... ( LOL ). I've been questioning myself lately about, that if I was meant to be a woman instead of a man, ( but what defines one as such sex, it's gender ? it's mind or body ? ) I've even though what I would look like as a woman, ( and what everyone think of me as a different sex ). When in public, I do not act a certain way, ( i.e fem/butch ) I am just who I am, and if others see that as being Gay, so be it, ( I am very comfortable being Gay ). But what would it be like as a Woman ?

i was "raped" when i was 15, ( let me explain, i was on the bus to go home from a party, and one of the many stops that the bus had made was this stop that i knew where prostitution and 'everything else' happend. so i decide to get off at that stop. it was a park, BTW. so i get off, and look around for a while, till this Man approaches me, at first he thought i was a girl, LOL! i had long hair at that point. anywho, he kept talking i just didn't listen, till the thought that this man talking to me, could be the one to take my virginity. so i said, what the heck! we go into this abandoned warehouse alley, it was pretty much away from anyone seeing us. at first i start to walk away from the man, but then he takes my hand and puts it on his COCK, and OMG!!! i was shocked and Excited. saw my dad's cock once but can't really recall the details, was very young. so i start playing the this man's cock and then he says that he wants to fuck me. so then he bends me over this fan like thing, at first it didn't hurt as much as i thought because i started to enjoy it, but as he took his time, that's when i felt a little bit of pain. not sure if that has "messed" up my life or not, i just know that everytime that i get into sittuations like that, where i am confronted, my entire body tenses up and heats up really, oh! really quick. so my Question to you all is this: Was it wrong ? ( to experience my first sexual experience at that age ? i probably would have done it at an earlier age, but my right hand was too busy, playing with my Cock ... LOL! ) now that my relationship reaches it's 9th year, my sex life isn't as it was when we first met. and please don't laugh but haven't had the need to "fuck" for like about a year and a half or so, me and my partner still do fool around just before we go to bed, but we just don't "fuck". ( my mind has gotten nastier over the years ... LOL! i still at times have fantasies of having rough sex, kind of like the women in straight porn, they always seem to enjoy themselves, lucky bitches ... LOL!!! )

THANK YOU all who replied to my topic. as i aged, ( WoOo HoOo, turning 30 in 7 days ) i questioned myself about a lot of things, like my sexualaity. don't get me wrong, i know that i am attracted to MEN, ( not these little boys who act childish ) so for certain that makes me Gay. i just thought that i was weird, for feeling this way. but now that i know that it is Normal, my sex life can return to being *NASTY* ... LOL!!! THANK YOU all once again.

i am a gay male, and have been since Oooh! a very young age. i know that at times, even Gay/Lesbian relationships have a "husband" type and a "wife" type, and not saying that i am way out there, cause i'm not. it's just that i associate more on the woman side, which i guess is fine by my partner, he is the "husband" type. i can watch straight porn and think that is me getting fucked by the HOT guy and not be grossed out by seeing the womans vigina. i know that most gay men, would be like "Ewww" but to me it doesn't bother me, just as long as there is a cock in sight. i would like some feed back on this subject. Thank You