whyaskwhy

I'll certainly give it a shot. I've asked her a few times to throttel back on the past but in a more delicate way. I know that she needs to release certain emotions and I'm trying to be open or at least more open than I have been in the past. If she can get it out of her system now then I'll be okay wioth it. I just don't want this to last the rest of our relationship or it will wind being a shorter relationship that I had hoped for. Kid gloves I reckon...probably on me. You give me something to think about however. She is 6 yrs younger than I am where as the ex was 5 yrs older. Different personalities for sure. Thanks for your reply.

I have become reaquainted with a past girlfriend who lost her husband to cancer last year. So she has a lot on her mind including a previous husband who abused her and wanted her to perform sexual acts with others. I'm trying to be open about her past relationships and let her discuss her emotions which inturn is allowing me to open up. At 47, I should be able to understand where she is coming from but is seems like she is very content on talking about her past sex life, when she got started and areas that I'm not really comfortable with. She doesn't really go into specifics but wants me to tell her all about my past but I'm not really comfortable about telling her that. Having sex to me is not just screwing but the intimacy involved during the relationship and I don't really see the need to discuss the past. I don't want to lose her but the 2500 mile distance and her need to return to this topic during almost every conversation have me concerned. We enjoy phone sex and Instant Messaging so we are doing what we can to get this together, with a hopeful visit this month. I enjoy talking to her but once we get to talking about her high school days and party girl lifestyle I kinda shut down. Basically I'm just not used to this kind of chatting and know that I'm being too critical of the situation. Any recommendations that I can use to let her talk openly about her past even though I'm not dealing with it very well. A religious upbringing and a closed past marriage are not helping me to open up the way she needs me to be and I'm not comfortable talking about her past, nor do I really want to talk about mine. Thanks