[Tantric Blow Jobs..]

Thank you for all those explanations, Howard. I have to admit I was beginning to think there was somthing quite occult to our lovemaking! It IS as you say.. he remains "hard" even after and yes, I enjoy teasing him tremendously when he is. Lotus, ei? Now I know!~ Alot of the things we do seem to come naturally, since we were both in loveless marriages before and I think its years of repressed emotions. I often find we are so drunk with just being together that we'd be arrested if we tried to operate ANY machinery, heavy or otherwise. I've had a difficult time with sex all my life since at the age of about 3 it was really messed up for me, but finding myself - with this man that I love so intensely who is also my spiritual guide, in many ways, is a blessing I can only thank God for time and time again. ("Oh GOD!! means a HECK of a lot more to me.. LOL!!)

I'd like to learn a lot more about tantra from the sexual perspective - I know there's tantra on other levels, but I honestly want to make my man feel so loved, so pleasured, so absolutely satisfied that the normal "waxing and waning" of love which is present in most relationships just doesn't affect us much. Beyond the bedroom, I feel if he continues to edify me as he does, with such natural kindness and I can reciprocate, perhaps there's a recipe for success, God willing. Despite all the intensity of that one night, I really believe we've only just scratched the surface on how to "melt" into each other. I find our bodies are a great tool, yet the lovemaking that takes place at soul level I cannot describe. It's like meeting in the air just between our bodies, fusing, dancing, melting into each other. Reading your response gives me hope that we're not at all crazy.. only discovering stuff some people have known forever. I've also given him a full body on body massage with almond oil after waking him in my mouth, which got a terrific response. He's studied up on all his Kama sutra positions and taking excercise classes has helped me "keep up".. any advice on positions to try or where I can read up more on the topic of tantra? I'm not into the religious aspect of it; we are both very devoted to our shared faith and students of a branching out mystic path, and we'd both like to explore the outer limitlessness of this love. So any advice would be appreciated. And thanks again. Now I "get" the little "guru" thing at the bottom of your name.

Suzi

[Tantric Blow Jobs..]

Thank you for the detailed description of a wonderful blowjob. Can you expand on why or what it is that makes this a Tantric Blow job for other readers? And, when you said you got the reciprocation of your life about 20 minutes later, can you give us details, and explain why it took so long? Was that on purpose? Your choice, or his? Guys could stand to learn from you how to give you tremendous head, I am sure.

Inquiring minds want to know.

Thanks.

Howard

Hi Howard.

Ok the tantric bit.. To me, "Tantric" means that that the body, mind and spirit connection are all present. It means that sex becomes a sharing of the soul through the physical exchange of caress and through the deliberate control of one's desires. You see, I could've just given him a nice blow job, finished it off and it would've beeng great... but pulling away as he's beginning to cum whilst he tries to hold back the ejaculation means that the next "wave" of ejaculation gets stronger.. the passion grows like this crescendo of desire that's tamed only long enough to multiply. He almost came three times.. he was on the verge of it.. by pulling away the physical attention to his penis that would've led to that but maintaining his pleasure through other input (verbal, and visual) it gives him time to focus on WHO's pleasuring him rather than just the physical receiving of pleasure. if you know what I mean. He has this thing he does where he consciously "pulls back" from ejaculating, and the touching but NOT touching only heightens the spiritual and emotional connection to each other. Breathing each other's breath, almost touching, then touching but not climaxing over and over.. that places things on a very different level to any kind of lovemaking I've ever known. We are both very spiritual people interested in mysticism and so we enjoy the intensity of sharing each other's soul DURING lovemaking. I don't know how else to explain that.

The 20 minutes reciprocation was on purpose. It takes me longer to "calm back" from almost cumming since I'm still learning. Basically, after the initial session, I lay back and did some deep breathing excercises, his body up against mine, our fingers entwined and bodies antwined without kissing or touching either's genitalia (bad word, I know...) anyway, then he slowly rose and turned the cd player on.. (sounds of the ocean) and opened a window. The coolness of the night air on my skin and the heat of what had just happened left us both even more drunk in each other. It was my choice the 20 minutes, to answer your question. Time to center myself whilst he opened my hands, face-up. He smiled and placed his hands over mine, and without touching rubbed them- an "aura massage" if you can call it that, over, under, through my fingers, up my arms, his legs on either side of me. I closed my eyes and could feel the warmth of his hands as he led them from my hands to my shoulders, whilst looking into my eyes, telling me all the wonderful things he sees in me and what he loves about being with me.. He didn't just say this words, he whispered them into my mouth, into my ears, until the humming of his voice and the heat of his skin had me blazing again. "Breathe my love" he said, chuckling, (because I'm still learning all this stuff given some really tough childhood experiences) and he went on breathing into my mouth, teasing my mouth with the tip of his tongue, my ears, my neck, ever so slowly and almost excruciatingly softly.. . we talk about soaring together and truly its what it feels like. Then he lay me down and began to kiss every single milimeter of me from the nape of my neck down whilst he held my hands in his above my head, the drawing them lower down my body as he went lower. He alternated the flicking of his tongue on my breasts with just breathing on them, breathing his breath over the cool, wet kisses.. with those same "almost touching" kisses, sometimes making contact and that would send me spiralling.. All the time, he kept seeking my eyes, and the connection of doing that is just awsome. Sitting up, he pulled me closer by placing my legs over his thighs and crossing his feet behind my back (imagine being cross-legged but latched into each other) whilst his fingers softly teased my outer labia and inner thighs. By the time he eventually inserted his finger, then another, watching my face and telling me what he wanted to do for me, how much he loves me, etc, I was dripping wet. using one hand to caress my breasts, he moved again, positioning himself between my legs where he could best tickle and tease me with his tongue. Just when he felt me about to cum he told me "not yet love.." and moved off to my shins or thighs , talking me through what he saw, what he could feel from me. He moved back up along my thighs and gently sucked on my outer labia, then inner, kissing and caressing my clit with one hand whilstusing my own wetness to lubricate his finger which he then inserted into my anus. It felt absolutely incredible.. the slow, soft, then deeper sucking and teasing of my clit with his tongue and fingers and then feeling his tongue in me whilst he fingered me in the anus. A gradual speeding up brought me to an absolute climax, after which he didn't stop, but slowed back down just long enough to get the juices flowing so he could fuck me properly. And by properly I mean from various positions until I came over and over and over again.

I hope that's not too much detail, but how else to describe it? In those three hours, he and I both almost came half a dozen times, building to a crescendo until we did.. he about 3 times and me *blushes* about 9. There's nothing subtle about subtle touch, and build up...hope it answers your questions and helps anyone out there.

[What's Your Favorite Way To Tease A Guy?]

The biggest tease for me is when my husband calls me, knowing I am shopping or otherwise unable to verbalise anything but perfecty able to hear. Then he proceeds to tell me EXACTLY what he'd like to do to me.. he's very visual with his descriptions and it leaves me breathless to get to him. So maybe, when he's all tied up, strip for him, touching all the parts you want him to touch, just outside of his reach. Let him feel the warmth of your mouth (and other lips) without getting to taste them, and pleasure yourself a little .. a couple of silk scraves softly dragged along his body when you're finally naked, some ice in your mouth whilst you lick him gently.. all these things will drive him crazy.. and leave him begging to be let loose. Enjoy.

[Spit Or Swallow]

Ok All You Ladies- I was having a discussion with one of my good friends last night over dinner and I was APPALLED to learn that she DOES NOT SWALLOW her boyfriend's cum!

I thought that this was something that I had coached all my female friends on - apparently she missed the seminar on cock sucking!

She, of course, defended her actions with the whole "It tastes bad...blah, blah, blah...." argument, that I only half listened to and then cut her off with "WHOA.....no friend of mine is going to blabber that crap!"

So, ladies, what I want to know from you - and I want to know from all of you who are looking at the site and don't post much too - what do you do with your man's cum - SPIT or SWALLOW - and WHY?????

I promise to all the "spitters" to not yell at you....I will simply defend my argument on swallowing in a non-argumentative and sensible manner!

So what is it - SPIT OR SWALLOW???

Mikayla

All my life I have to admit that I thought the idea of a bj (much less swallowing) was very degrading and quite horrible. Turns out I was anal retentive!! lol.. I thank the Heavens I have found a man I love so much that I was able to uncover and work through the real reasons. (deep seated memories of some very uncomfortable childhood experiences that had been locked away which I won't go into here) I thank him as often as I can by giving him a bj. He thanks me by letting me, since it really is a priveledge to be able to do that for the man I love. I'd tried giving bj's before, but never felt comfortable even with a drop of pre-cum. My husband (the man I speak of) is a whole matter altogether. I am extremely posessive over every last drop of him. Yes, I prefer to swallow, and I prefer to do so deep throat because I feel the heat of it and I enjoy the shooting sensation imensely. What can I say? I'm addicted to him. I hope to learn lots more from this site about how to, when to and whatnot of all his fiddlybits. Love 'em ALL! SWALLOW SWALLOW.. I can't imagine spitting.. isn't it just wonderful?!!

[Hickies]

I being still a very newly newly wed had an interesting experince last weekend, I woke up in the mood on a saturday morning and rolled over and gave my wife a hicky for the first time in my life. Never was able to do it before but some how without really trying I marked the spot as I distracted her with the horezontal lambada. We'll not much got said about it, I didn't even notice that much.

Later that evening we went to dinner with my wife family for her mothers birthday. We sitting there in Golden corale and my sister in law( she 19 or 20) was next to me and she looks over at my wife and in excitment shouts out "gasp...is that a hicky on your neck?". We she thought it was the greatest thing, and after all having pierced body parts and her name tattooed on various parts of her body why shouldn't she. Then our nephew's mother says( kidding of course) "Glenn, don't you know she is a teacher" and of course I said jokingly " I dont give a rats ass".

We'll let me tell you, the talk started turning to filipino right away. I didn't think nothing of it. Come to find out that the in laws were abit upset with me for marking up my 6th grade teacher of a wife. I said "what?" as my wife tried to explain to me the dangers associated with the hickey. It a moral obligation, don't want to set a bad example she told me.

I was in disbelief, hickies were a common thing way before 6th grade when I was growing up. Back then not everyone was sexually active like they are these days. With what teachers are in the news for these days and being permitted to stay, I never thought hickies would be a no no especially for the married teacher.

I told everyone look if everyone gonna be upset that the teacher might be demonstrating the fact she sexually active, what does our almost 6 month old son demonstrate by his exsistance. It great to have sex and have kids, but the hicky is not to be tolerated.

All I could think of is that times really have changed.

We'll I laugh about it, my in laws don't still so mayabe ya'll might get a chuckle. Ya'll have any stories about your hickies??

Glenn

Weeeeell, I can understand that as a teacher she doesn't want anything that the kids can see & then talk about, but I LOVE hickies. I'm sure they are bad for the skin on some level but I really love to wake up, head to the mirror whilst hubby is asleep and see the marks of our lovemaking.. I get really soppy about them because whenever he's not around (he travels alot for work) they remind me of him in a silly, but special way. I haven't read the other comments yet (I will) but my personal opinion is they are very sweet. I ASK for them. Actually had one bad experience with them though.. the first time hubby tried to give me a hickie he was rather nervous (it was only our second time together) so he got a little over excited and ended up drawing blood. That wasn't nice, but since then, I LOVE my hickies.. especially on the neck. And hey, I don't have to advertise them to the world, I have lots of lovely summer scarves to keep them "for my eyes only"..

[Why Is It Called A Bj?]

I am curious as to why a blow job is called a blow job. When I am doing it, I am not "blowing" anything. Wouldn't it be more appropriately called a "suck job"? Or am I the only one who has ever considered this?

Lol.. husband and I had the exact same discussion this week! I think "blow" comes from the idea of the penis being a "horn" shaped -as in bugle or something.. lol.. I know. It's wierd. And yes, a Suck job is much more accurate. Come to think of it, "giving head" is also not very accurate (or so we concluded) since you're actually GETTING head - the penis head, in your mouth. Words are wierd, I guess. But whatever you call it, he doesn't ever even have to ask.

[Anal Orgasm For Women]

The secret to getting communication going with your spouse is to do it with your clothes on, away from the place you have sex, in a neutral setting like a restaurant, where you go between rush times, to have semi-privacy while you enjoy lunch and conversation. Having people around who can see you but not necessarily hear what you are saying lends comfort to many men and women who otherwise would be unable to talk about sex. Just ask the waiter to leave you alone, in a place off the beaten path, for privacy, until you signal him/her that you need something. Tip the waiter extra for this forebearance. If you go into the restaurant between the normal Lunch crowd and the dinner time, You are looked at as basically " free " Money, and the staff will be very cooperative.

Then there are some rules that both partners have to agree upon before going out on this " date":

1. Alternate asking questions.

2. Any question about sex is permitted.

3. The person asked a question will answer truthfully. " I don't know " is a truthful answer to many questions, and neither of you will be afraid of saying so, nor will you treat such an answer in a negative manner. " I don't know " is an invitation for both of you to begin another journey of discovery, not pick another fight on who is more stupid than the other!

4. No negative comments, gestures, facial expressions, etc. allowed.

5. The questions and answers continue until both partners have exhaused the questions they want to ask.

6. Plan to have such a discussion at least once a month, as your interests and questions evolve as you experiment, and gain more experiences. As you age, your interest in doing certain sexual things you would not be caught dead doing when you are young also change. Sex should not be predicatable, EVER. It suppose to be fun. You are suppose to be engaged in Adult Play with your spouse, or lover. Changing what you do, how you do it, where you do it, and when you do it is all part of the excitement.

Other members have tried this kind of setting for a discussion, and report great success in gettingt a timid partner to finally talk about everything. Really, if you are lovers, what could there possibly be about each other that you have not seen, felt, kissed, licked, sucked, etc.???

You both should be able to talk to each other about anything, particularly having to do with sex. Sometimes it just takes that little agreement to not laugh, or be nagative or treat a question as " silly ", or whatever else will turn him/her off.

Once you have that ice broken with your wife, you can invite her to read the posts on this forum, and to participate herself. We have many members who only ask a few questions, but always seem to want to start their question by apologizing for asking something " so stupid ". The only stupid question is the one that is not ASKED!!! Its True! I have learned lots of things about sex I didn't know from men and women on this forum. I too spent several weeks reading the past postings and topics when I first joined. I was motivated to answer a question when someone else answered the question wrong-- I think he/she misread the question frankly. I have been helping answer people's questions every since.

If the two of you think you have communication problems, you should read some of the communications from our Gay and transexual community who occasionally visit the site! Many are embarrassed even admitting their sexual preferences to heteros like us, much less asking us for advice? I make it a practice to be as warm and welcoming to them as I am to everyone, so that they feel better about coming back on site, to ask future questions. I have been thanked many times by these members for my kindness, and they are often surprised, if not shocked that I do not consider my warmth to be extra special treatment for them. Or that I welcome them to come back and ask any question they need answered. Its been my experience that they folks have been so poorly treated by heteros, that they just expect to be laughed or sneered at. When it doesn't happen, it makes them wonder if they read our posts, correctly.

Communication id the #1 problem adversely affecting all sexual relationships that are having any kind of trouble. Everyone seems to have been raised in homes where you were supposed to be embarrassed to even mention the word, " S-e-x ", much less actually talk about it! IOt was that way at my house. My father would rather DIE than have to talk about sex! And my mother was not far behind him. Neither of them had a clue about great sex.

Best wishes.

Howard

What a FABULOUS post! Thank you!!

[Anal Orgasm For Women]

Is it possible to have an anal orgasm as a woman, and if so is it more intense than a vaginal or clitoral o?

Ok to be honest, the first time we went Anal (and I swore I never would) it hurt like hell for the first while. But with a lot of gentle coaxing and slow working, I was soon begging for more. By the third time we did anal, I found I was not only having an orgasm but actually more than one, after the other. It is different, and as I told my hubby. to me, a clitoral orgasm is "jiggly intense", a vaginal orgasm is "fucking intense" (pardon the word but heck its appropriate) and an anal orgasm is "GIVE ME MORE intense" leaving me wanting him to either follow it up with vaginal or oral, or both. I'm greedy, I guess, but happy to reciprocate so I hope that makes it ok.

[I Did It! I Squirted!]

Well I did it and I can't believe it or how good it felt.

Last night my husband and I were laying in bed, and I told him I really was interested in having a gspot orgasm. I never was able to have one and wanted to feel one.

So him being the game man he always is, asked what he needed to do to help me. I said let me masturbate and you work on my gspot.

So he said ok and I went into the bathroom and made sure my bladder was fully emptied.

I came back to bed and laid down and spread my legs and he nestled in between them. He got out my bullet and turned it on and placed it very lightly over my clit, I went to reach for it and he said no, he wanted to play for me so I said ok.

He rubbed it very lightly over my clit, then leaned over and started licking my nipples and I started getting really wet.

He did this for a minute or so, then he shut the bullet off and started rubbing my now swollen clit with his fingers and inserted two into my pussy and slowly started fingering me and asked me to tell him when to stop.

I felt him go in a bit and up and I felt like I had to pee so I said I think there. Omg it was feeling so good.

So he laid down between my legs, got the bullet and placed it back on my clit and started rubbing the area in me back and forth.

I could feel myself getting ready to cum, and slowly backed down with the bullet and started flicking his hot tongue over and around my clit while rubbing my spot in my pussy.

I didn't and couldn't hold back so he gave me the bullet, and scooted up between my legs, and put my legs over his to spread me open and up.

Omg I could feel my whole little pussy quivering, and I took the bullet away and started fingering my clit pretty hard. My pussy was aimed up and wide open and he pushed in a bit further and really rubbed my spot in my pussy.

I felt the orgasm start and immediately looked down and started fingering myself harder and as I did my pussy convulsed and I sprayed liquid in the air and all over his chest and stomach. Omfg he said and his cock that was hard as a rock started spurting in the air between my legs, he was coming as hard as I was!

So I let it go and GUSHED at least a cup of liquid in the air as my orgasm hit me. My whole pussy was shaking and I could feel my contractions on his fingers. It must have lasted a minute, it was so damn good.

He slowly stopped fingering me while I kept convulsing and bent down and clamped his mouth on my pussy and started licking me. I gushed a little more and he kept up with it swallowing it as I came.

It was so awesome. Omg he spurted so hard when I gushed that he covered my neck and upper chest with cum.

It was fantastic!

He said he never saw anything like that before and the sight of all that liquid coming up like a fountain out of my pussy set him off.

I am so proud I had a gspot and gushed!!! Thank you Mikayla!! You were so right.

Every woman needs to try for it cause it will happen!!

WOW! I am SO pleased you and hubby are able to really be open (and open...lol) with each other. Hubby has been asking me what I want next.. I just found my wish list! he he he...

[Tantric Blow Jobs..]

Its incredible when your man learns to withold cumming 'till his cum has been 'drawn back' about 3 times. I don't know how he does it but Hubby is a master at this.. staying hard all the time until I make him cum. It makes for more time for me to go down on him of course.

The last session I had with hubby lasted well over three hours. I don't know about any other couples, but this really blew my mind. It was the most intense session I have ever had in my entire life, so I thought I'd share in the hopes that it helps any ladies out there. I include a few tips at the end. It may read a little like a story and yeah, we both felt like we were transported to another "zone" completely.

The light was bright. I went to the bathroom thinking I'd surprise him with the sexy lingerie number I'd got especially. When I stepped out I noticed he'd been to the shops too, and was ready kitted out in the sexiest black stretch silk number I've ever seen. I smiled and he grinned (of course) and I turned the lights down softer, then slowly slid off his little number, without a word. I let my fingers slide over his thighs and run them all over his buns, eyes locked into his. kneeding, rubbing, stroking them, I watched him get harder and harder as he edged me to the bed. He tried to reach over to kiss me and I just whispered "shhh.. " and lay down on my side. He lay on his back next to me, half sitting on his elbows, so I continued looking into his eyes as I brought my lips close to his, so that I felt his breath in my open mouth and mine in his. At the same time I ran the tips of my fingers featherlight over his chest and down, around his nipples and eventually between his thighs. Running the flat of my hand over his inner thighs, I edged his legs open and very, very lightly caressed the tip of his cock, rubbing my face over his as he tried again to catch my lips. Only when I started to stroke his balls did I allow touch his mouth with my tongue; the circular pattern around his balls happening at the same time as my tongue circled the inside of his slightly open mouth. It was really intense! I sucked his tongue as I took his cock in my hand and slowly slid it up to the head of his cock, then kept my thumb "tapping" the head slightly as I worked my mouth down his body, licking and stroking, alternately rubbing my lips against his skin. I moved down to between his legs and locked my eyes back into his as I kissed his balls and licked them all around in little circles, very gently. Then I ran my tongue up that gorgeous vein on the shaft of his cock, stopping to flick it very quickly and lightly over the slit, prolonging thing a little there whilst I tood my hand and rubbed the bottom of his buns near his anus. I kissed and licked the base of the head slowly, watching him close his eyes and moan with pleasure, all the while massaging the outside of his anus gently with one finger. As I licked his shaft again and "nibbled" it with my lips up and down I used my other hand to stroke the inside of his thighs and under his balls. Basically, I was on my elbows, kinda resting on my left one.. one hand massaged the anus, the other hand stroked his thighs and even up his stomach, as I finally took the head of his cock in my mouth and started sucking, moving slowly up and down as my tongue whirled around the head. I stopped and started that a couple times, just so I could suck his balls or kiss and lick the base of his cock between the anus and the ball. I tried to keep eye contact as far as possible, telling him how much I wanted him, how badly I wanted to feel him cum in my mouth. By this point his hips were arched, his arms were stretched above his head grabbing the headboard and his legs were spread as wide as possible.

I carried out licking the head of his cock and asked him if he was enjoying it. Since all he could say was "I wanna fuck you so badly!" I guessed it was working, so I speeded things up, taking his cock deeper into my mouth, keeping the one hand on the anus, the finger pushing slightly in and up towards his prostate whilst the other hand moved up and down the (VERY WET by now) shaft in time with my mouth. I took the head of his cock in my mouth and sucked, moving my head in circles whilst my tongue flicked and circled like crazy. Trained in tantric, my man can withold himself from cumming for almost 2 hours of this treatment, although I often felt the cum move along his cock to the head and then "flush" back, which is always my sign to do some sex talk and ease up on the movement. When I felt him start to cum the third time I took him deeper before it could "flush back" and as far deep in my throat as possible. I'm also fighting the gag reflex and what I do when it happens is remove my mouth, continue with my hand, and tell him what I want to see, and feel, from him. I got right back into the swing of things, turning my body around so he could move my g-string aside and finger me and feel how wet HE was making me.. and he came in no time at all at that point. I kept him deep in my throat as he came, sucking harder, using the flat of my tongue to coax ever last drop out.

Of course 20 minutes later I got the reciprocation of my life.. from oral to fuck, and enjoyed the multiples he is a pro at giving me. I honestly cannot remember what happened for the next 15 minutes or so after we both came (him a second time, this time during intercourse) as it was so intense I think neither of us could think straight.. I cannot wait for him to get home!

The trick, for me, is to fully engage my mind, body, and soul in every action, use my hands in different ways whilst the tongue and lips are busy, and to tease, tease, tease until you know he can't take any more teasing. Then, he'll either beg you verbally to take him over the edge, or pin you down and do YOU senseless. Either way, its a win win!