nikki2076
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Posts posted by nikki2076
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Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in
his office.. but she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, I'll give you $100
if you let me have sex with you....The girl looked at him, and then said,'NO!'
Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down
and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend... so
she called him and explained the situation.
Her boy friend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast He
won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal.
Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his
girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what
happened.. ...? Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
'The bastard had all quarters!' lol
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BULLFROGS & BLOW JOBS
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.
'Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!'
'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.
'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blow jobs for her!
She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off!
The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.
The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook.......you're gone.'
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Most of these are outpatient procedures nowadays so I know things have changed since the 80's and early 90's less invasive. I wish you a speedy recovery. Good luck hun!! *HUGS*
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That is awesome he sounds like a Keeper!! Good luck g/f and I cannot wait to read your story.
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Tyger!browneyedgurl:
I appreciate your honest review. Those nubs look a bit scary to me. If they didn't vibrate then what's the point?
The nubs were actually very soft and didnt cause any pain but they didnt cause any stimulation either..lol
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Aw, sorry this flower wilted for you. Sounds like it needed more fertilizer to grow stronger.....
I was thinking that same thing...lmao
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Redtube is my FAV but thanks for the info on all the others
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The Lucid Dream #14 is excellent. I did a review on that, and The Blue Swirl glass dildo (which gave me my first g-spot O). I would look again, because I know of several g-spot toys that have been reviewed. I hope this helps!
The Blue Swirl is sooo purtyyyyy!!!
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I know that one way to tell what someone's natural hair color is to see what color their pubic hair is. I also know that as we get older our hair turns gray. My question is dose your pubic hair get gray?
Yep they sure do!! That is why if you keep it shaved you wont have to see it...lol
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This is for sure my area!! I have had the chance to work both front and back office in a Medical Office and also of course been on the opposite side of the fence where I was the Patient. Now being that my background was and is Medical I will not put up with the BS from a receptionist Dr or Nurse. I have learned that yes being in the medical field can be hard sometimes but it is a choice it is not an obligation. I have always treated my patients with kindness and I know I can not speak for everyone out there in the medical field because there are a lot of Drs and nurses who just do not have that bed side hospitality that they should. I am sorry that you recieved bad service and I hope that the receptionist was spoken to about the situation and does not treat you in that manner again. Good Luck!!
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Lover
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What a night I can see how that would be kinda fun with mixed company. Sorry they didnt work out for you but great review!
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Conference Table
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Smart move!! I just read all the posts and I will have to agree it did sound like that relationship was one heading for disaster. Some serious danger zones there. I am glad you moved on and got out. Smart move. Good luck to you.
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One day I will get to do that!! Dreammmmmmmmmmm!! -
turtles....giant turtles from outer space...ones that talk and stuff
Now that was freakin funny!!! LMAO!!!
I usually think about FMF or FF encounters.
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I liked that LOL
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I would say they tend to become a little enlarged or more firm I guess. I sometimes wish they would stay that way if it was not for the discomfort
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I am 100% Bi-sexual. I enjoy the touch and kiss of another woman. My hubby and I have experienced FMF and enjoyed it very much and I have also had just the FF which is also wonderful. There is something about being with a woman that a man cannot full fill. I guess that is why I love it so much. I did not really find out or react on my curiosity until I was about 25 or so and I am not 32 so I am not that experienced but I will say it is something that I enjoy.
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I will say for me it is not my favorite thing to do but if the opp arrises then we will. My SO is not grossed out by it but I am. I think it is because I am not a light bleeder. I will say I must be a lil abnormal though cuz I have read through the posts about Sex helping cramps..not for this girl I get cramps that are out of this world and I will say when we do have sex and if I have cramps it does not help. But anyways just thought I would add my 2 cents.
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Clit Suction G-Vibe
Slightly curved, G-Spot shape for targeted thrills and stimulation.
With this being my very first G-Spot Vibe I was excited and not sure what to expect I have never seen a vibe with a clitoral suction cup and tantalizing inner ticklers. As soon as I got it I opened it up and went straight to the bathroom and got my antibacterial soap and started washing this baby. The G-vibe is waterproof so you don’t have to worry too much about getting it wet as long as the rubber seal is intact which is located at the bottom where you unscrew to put in your 2 AAA batteries (not included). This pretty little toy is made out of soft CyberSilicone material so I recommend letting it air dry otherwise you are going to end up with lint and other unwanted items on your toy.
So now with my pretty purple G-Vibe all washed up I was ready for some play. I added a little bit of Water based lube to the vibe and slowly started playing. At the bottom you will notice a turn dial which is where you can add a little bit of vibration. So as I turned it on I noticed that it does contain some strong vibes but they mainly stay in the middle of the shaft and not throughout the whole vibe which I didn’t like. I did not let that get me down so I continued and I was eager to see what the clit Suction was all about. Well sad to say there was not any suction going on either. The fact that the vibrations did not travel throughout the toy there was not any in the clit suction cup area. I personally like to have a little bit of vibration on my clit when using a vibe with a clit stimulator on it. I played for a while and tried to get the G-spot O but was not very successful. The size was nice Size: Length=4" Diameter=1.25" and I think it is a good starter toy but I was not impressed with the overall outcome.
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Welcome to a place filled with friends, support and lots and lots of information!!
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I dont have any advice for you but I can say I have the same problem. We have managed to do Anal b4 and I know use lots of lube. Now it seems all we can manage to do is get a few fingers and toys in but other then that 4get it. I will say though it has felt good but I have never gotten past then whole uncomfortable feeling yet. So maybe that is what it is I dunno. I know when I started havin sex it hurt but I wanted more and more but Anal well I am sitting on the fence with this one.
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Froggy~
IT has to be aboy thing! Becaus ei kmnow for a fact that when I was 13/14 I had no desire to know that my mom was still having sex (we could hear it, that was enough to scar us.). Let alone go in, and rumage through her sex toys! I don't even share mine(visually) with people. The lube, sn't so bad, unless it was super expensive. I'd leave him have teh rest and buy new for yourself. BUt confront him definitely in a way that will horribly embaress him, like give it to him in front of his friends or something. Trust me, he'll never touch your stuff again. If your not keen on moritifying him so badly, just sit down and have teh sex talk, you and your hubby, be really super cool about it and then tell him, like Iha said, that if he ever does it again your taking his bedroom door off., make sure you switch his door knob so it doesn't lock. And take it off. EVen if it's only for 24 hours he'll know your serious.
ToyQueen~
You son was "borrowing" your sex toys and his sister's panties? Definitely something you should be talking about because that seems a little odd, especially depending on what toys he was taking.
Suzy
I have to agree I am all about taking off the door..lmao My daughter knows. I also agree with either talkig to him and buying him some of his own lube or embarassing the kids in front of thier friends but yanno I dont think doing it in front of his friends is the only way to embrass him I think just confronting him and handing him the lube he took from you will do it too. I wish you luck and thanx for the warning I have a 5yr old boy and I need to lock my crap up now I see.
Tyger!
Turner Brown
in Adult Jokes & Stories
Posted
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says:
'7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.'
The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down
and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says: 'What's wrong with you?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'
The big dude says: 'I saw your look and figured I'd just give you the
answers to the questions everyone always asks. I'm 7 feet tall. I
weigh 350 pounds. I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each,
and my name is Turner Brown.'
The small guy says: 'Turner Brown. Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,
'Turn around.'