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synirr

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Posts posted by synirr

  1. DADT, I like you more and more all the time!

    I haven't had much to add so I've just been watching the show, but I wanted to say that DADT is absolutely right... you can have a HOT, interesting sex life with your partner without involving other people, all it takes is a little effort and creativity! Having sex with someone else is a cheap and easy way to get that thrill, but you could be trying something new with your partner while strengthening your trust and your relationship at the same time instead.

  2. Oh, and Korn.... if you want me to give you advice on how to get away with it, THAT I can do, PM me. I don't have anything against you, but just from reading your previous posts I can tell you're not going to take the good advice kindly provided by a few here (thanks Taiyo and Suzy, ya'll must have the patience of saints) and put forth the time and effort required to make this really work, so if you just want to have some fun without the consequences I can offer you advice you can use. You seem like a quick fix kind of guy.

  3. Just because these are common issues for his generation doesn't mean that they are good ideas/behaviors. He asked for advice and he got it, it's nobody's fault that he really posted the thread hoping for encouragement instead.

    When I was 19 I was involved in a relationship (yes, relationship) with someone in his 40s. It was a positive experience, but it was also long distance and we didn't see one-another often. If we were actually in the same city, I don't think I would have been able to deal with all the issues that arise in such a relationship... I was a mature kid, but I was still a kid, just like Korn. You may be able to fight and die for your country at age 18, but your prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until your mid-twenties. To explain the significance of this, I'm going to copy/paste part of the Wikipedia article for the sake of convenience:

    The most typical psychological term for functions carried out by the pre-frontal cortex area is executive function. Executive function relates to abilities to differentiate among conflicting thoughts, determine good and bad, better and best, same and different, future consequences of current activities, working toward a defined goal, prediction of outcomes, expectation based on actions, and social "control" (the ability to suppress urges that, if not suppressed, could lead to socially-unacceptable outcomes).

    Any relationship can be difficult, but I know from experience that the kind of relationship Korn is suggesting comes with a whole different set of problems, and it would be nice if he were taking into consideration how those problems are going to effect him, as well as everyone else involved. Chances are, through no fault of his own, he's not even fully capable of doing that yet.

    I'll be completely honest, I don't think there's a chance in hell he could handle a "relationship" with an older woman, especially not with kids involved, and I don't think any adult woman would seek a relationship with him anyway. If he just wants to fuck her then fine, but there's going to be an epic shitstorm if they let people know about it, and it could very well tear apart families and friendships. That's the reality of this situation. The other reality is that he's probably going to do what he wants to no matter what any of us say in any tone because he didn't really want advice in the first place, though I imagine he'd contest that. I've been there, and yeah, I do remember exactly what it's like.

  4. Korn, Chuck was 100% right and you need to read what he said and take it to heart. You ARE still young and VERY immature... he's telling you the truth, it's not his fault that that's not what you want to hear. Everyone else has echoed his sentiments.

  5. I'll be honest here... my BF and I, when we smoke, almost always make it a point it have sex. Most of the time I don't feel quite as connected to him as when we're sober, yes, but sometimes the orgasms are PHENOMENAL. They come on slowly and seem to last a long time, like in a wet dream. I also find it easier to have multiples, since I don't feel as over-sensitive afterwards.

    Would I recommend marijunana as a way to "treat" any sort of sexual dysfunction? No. I will say, though, that it sure is fun and different sometimes ;)

  6. Thanks for the comments everyone :)

    I don't know if it will work with Goldies, but someone told me once that to get my cichlid (an Oscar) to grow big quicky, feed him reptile pelets. I did, he loved it, and it worked! He got huge and lived a really long time.

    You know, I hadn't heard of that, but it makes sense. Oscars eat mostly bugs and crustaceans in the wild, so especially if the reptile pellets are made with insects it'd be great for them. Goldies like more vegetable matter or they'll have digestive problems :). I have an oscar as well, he's about 4 years old now and lives in a 80g... he's over a foot long! Biggest oscar I've ever seen personally, but that's just because most people don't care for them properly, or keep them long enough for them to reach a good size. One day I hope to get him a really big tank, then the goldies can have his 80g.

    I'm still playing back and forth with a saltwater tank. I saw a nice one but it was large 150 gallon I think. I don't have the room right now, but I could always do a nano tank or something.

    I want seahorses but heard they can be difficult. I acquired a honey gourami. Her name is Linda, after Linda Lovelace because of her gaping mouth that opens and closes constantly :lol:

    The problem with seahorses is how often they need to be fed... at least 3 times a day, and a lot of them only take live food. If you have the time for that then they're not too difficult at all :). You could even hatch your own brine shrimp eggs and raise dwarf seahorses in a nano tank!

  7. Synnir,

    I love goldfish too. I have a 30 gallon tank and will be upgrading to salt water this Spring. Do you have to do more frequent water changes to deal with the ammonia the goldies tend to give off? Are they hard to maintain?

    So far I haven't noticed much of a difference. I have had to waterchange them often, but that's because I'm constantly feeding them... I want to keep them as fat and happy as possible so they grow fast! It also doesn't help that their tank is really too small for that many big goldies... I'm upgrading soon, before the end of next month for sure.

    Good luck with your saltwater... I dabbled with that and still keep a 5.5g pico reef. It's cool, but I guess I'm just a freshwater kind of gal. I always have enjoyed the freshies more :)

  8. For those who don't know, fishkeeping is my primary hobby and I have 8 tanks at the moment. After years in the hobby and oodles of expensive and exotic fish later, I've gone back to goldfish! I think few experienced hobbyists realize how cool the humble goldfish can be... this tank is an absolute pleasure to watch, and one of my faves I've ever set up! I'm already thinking of upgrading to a 40 gallon :rolleyes:

    Here's the tank itself. The green thing is a live moss ball, and there are some big gold and blue mystery snails.

    DSCN0800.jpg

    The whole family :)

    DSCN0840.jpg

    The panda telescope eye is the only male... the big orange and white telescope seems to be his fave out of the harem, lol.

    DSCN0826.jpg

    The small black and gold one is an oranda

    DSCN0813.jpg

    This type is called a ranchu

    DSCN0835.jpg

    RAWR!!! :lol:

    DSCN0836.jpg

    Vacuum cleaner goldie

    DSCN0824.jpg

  9. I'm surrounded by them! Can't for the life of me understand their way of thinking. They completely cut themselves off from any sensuality. The most physical thing they want to do is stuff their face and complain about all their problems and how bad their SO's are. Why would you want to live like that? You just feel so much better mentally and physically if you allow yourself to take pleasure in being a viable sexual being! Attitude is everything! :)

    Absolutely!

  10. lol! thats such a coincidence because i think i met a guy a week or so ago that i might be interested in and i contacted him on facebook...but then i started worrying that i was being too creepy stalker-ish haha. D:

    Congrats! I guess it all depends... people who spend as much time online as I do wouldn't think much of it IMO, but someone who's less 'net-savy might think it a little strange :P

  11. Honestly I have to agree. Nothing against anyone, but I know that a lot of people online are capable of better writing than what they are presenting on forums and in chat rooms, and it's beyond me why anyone would want to appear less educated than they are. Admittedly my posts here aren't on par with what I'd present to a potential employer, for example, but I do at least make an effort. I used to do very poorly on spelling quizzes when I was a kid and it actually took me a lot of effort to learn to spell as well as I do, and most of that was simply picked up by looking words up in the dictionary instead of relying on spell check to fix my mistakes for me. There are exceptions to this, such as people with learning disabilities or those typing in a language that is not their mother tongue, but overall I think anyone with a 4th grade education should have passable spelling and grammar. The fact that many don't doesn't mean that they are dumb or anything like that, but I think it does speak volumes about the school system in this country in particular. I haven't been out of public education all that long, and it's embarrassing to admit how very little I learned.

    So to answer your question Aiden, I think it's laziness and ignorance. People are ignorant to the fact that, yes, they should be able to do better, and too lazy (or busy) to correct the problem themselves in their adult lives. The part I don't understand is why people are ok with this. Taking a hint from other comparable countries, we should be fluent in a second language by high school, not struggling with our first.

  12. Someone posted this on another forum and I thought it might be appreciated here :)

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29018045/

    NEW YORK - Postmenopausal women who have hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) — a low level of sexual desire — have a worse health-related quality of life than their counterparts who are happy with their sex lives, according to a new study.

    In fact, the researchers say, HSDD can cause in impairments in well-being on par with those seen in chronic diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, osteoarthritis and asthma.

  13. Iha, I know you are all too aware of the sacrifices you are making out of love; you do so knowingly and willingly, and if that's your choice then so be it. It's true that every relationship has some rough spots, and maybe it's different for you being a man of faith, but as for me, I'm going to be counting on the love my partner and I share to help us through those rough patches... I don't have any faith in a higher power to fall back on and neither does he, so we have to support one-another. For me a relationship is only between the two people involved, and without God's help it's going to take both of us to make it work. I'm sure other people operate under different circumstances, and I respect that choice even if I don't necessarily agree with it, but of course this wasn't written for those who consciously make that sacrifice anyway.

  14. I've been thinking about it a lot recently, and honestly, I just don't understand why people are willing to settle for less than they deserve in a relationship. It seems to happen a lot with women in particular, and I don't care who you are or what you've done, nobody deserves to be disrespected, talked down to, made to feel inferior, or abused. Never. I don't know what people are being taught (or not taught) about relationship dynamics, but that is never ok. The person you're with should lift you up and make you feel desirable and worthy of love, not like you should stay with them because they're the only person who could ever love you.

    My self-esteem took a dive for a while and I was with someone I shouldn't have wasted my time with. He was ok, but it became apparent that he didn't care about me personally, only about being in a relationship with someone, and he was constantly disrespecting me... just small things like never paying me back money he owed me, etc. Finally we had a fight and his true colors came out, he started calling me all kinds of names and thought that buying me a $20 bouquet the next day was going to make it all better. I know I'm better than that and I kicked him to the side, but the scary thing is, I almost missed out on my current relationship because of it. My boyfriend is the most wonderful person I've ever met, and if I had stayed with the loser any longer I might never have gotten to know him, or gotten the chance to be with him.

    The point is, never settle for less. No matter what, there's someone out there who will treat you with the love a respect that every single decent human being on earth deserves, and much more. Don't waste your time with less.

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