Amplexus
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Posts posted by Amplexus
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I have never had sex while on my period. It just grosses me out for some reason! I completely "close the theme park" (according to my fiance: just because that ride is closed doesn't mean the log flume has to be!!!) lol. I just can not think of sex being sexy while I am bleeding from "down there". Also, I can count on one hand how many times I have allowed my SO to use the bathroom while I am in the bathroom or taking a shower, or be in the bathroom while I am using the bathroom. I just can't bring myself to see that, or let him see me doing that. When I have to hand him toilet paper through the door - I close my eyes!! LOL Those are pretty much the only "taboo" things in our relationship!
A friend of his told him that when his wife is on her period he puts saran wrap down on top of her poonani in order to eat her out!! I got so grossed out when he told me that.
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This is probably one of those "you had to have been there" kind of things, but I'll share anyway.
The boy and I had just watched a show about the evolution of sex, which discussed at great length what position t-rex might have mated in so as to avoid the female having to support the massive weight of the male. The show demonstrated each theory with an animation, and when it got to the final and most plausible theory (the female lowering her front half and raising her tail in the air, out of the way,) the animation was quite fluid and believable. The boy said, in a very authoritative tone like he would know anything about it, "That seems reasonable." For some reason that struck us as funny, and we laughed about it for a good long time.
Flash forward to that night. We're going at it doggy style, and my arms are getting tired so I decide to rest my weight on a pillow... front half lowered, butt in the air. After a minute or two I can't help myself, and I turn around and say "Hey... this seems reasonable."
We continued after a brief pause for laughter, but it took him a really long time to finish that night. I ruined everything, but it was worth it. I'm never going to get a better setup for that reference
I totally get that!!! F-ing hilarious!!! My stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!!!
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HAHA.......that is so funny.
Mine (which not sure counts either) just happened on Monday. Was at the doctor for a checkup on my meds. Then I asked if they(the meds) could be messing with my period cuz I had started to have some problems with it. He said yes, because I had went through so many in such a short time. Switching through different kinds to find ones that work for me. And he also told me that it could also make me dry down there. I said, Oh, I haven't noticed because I always use lube because my epesiotomy scar.
"what do you mean" he asked
"well it rips when I have sex without tons of lube even if I'm reallly wet"
went throguh the whole story of getting the epesiotomy and all the problems I have had with it..
"what kind of lube do you use?"
me starting to turn red by now.....
"um......i have lots of different kinds" didn't want to say well i have this site i get these all off of....cuz i knew he probably wouldn't recognize any names.......like the tootimid pleasure gel......
"well, have you tried astroglide? I have lots of patients that said it worked good for them"
"is that silicone based?" I asked...since I haven't even considered it in the past or looked at it
"yeah I am pretty sure it is"
"oh well then nevermind"
"why?"he asked..............my face burning by now..............
"why?" he repeated
"because you can't use that with silicone toys".....my face on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!
"what?....OH!....you can't? why not? And why are you blushing"
"it will ruin the toys."
"why are you blushing"
"this isn't usually a conversation you have with your doctor....usually don't talk about sex toys!"
That was seriously funny. but i was turning red cuz I know that I am on this site all the time and didn't feel like saying....."oh I belong to this sex web site where I get stuff from and learn things ".... and so on. Not that there is anythign wrong with that........but just embarassing to talk to your doctor about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (it was to me anyways since i didn't expect the convo. to ever go that direction) but next time i might not be so embarassed.....
Too funny!!! I would be so mortified!!! Like you, I am not very open about my sex life or how big of a freak I am in real life lol. Nobody except my fiance knows I even surf a forum like this!
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HAHA.......that is so funny.
Mine (which not sure counts either) just happened on Monday. Was at the doctor for a checkup on my meds. Then I asked if they(the meds) could be messing with my period cuz I had started to have some problems with it. He said yes, because I had went through so many in such a short time. Switching through different kinds to find ones that work for me. And he also told me that it could also make me dry down there. I said, Oh, I haven't noticed because I always use lube because my epesiotomy scar.
"what do you mean" he asked
"well it rips when I have sex without tons of lube even if I'm reallly wet"
went throguh the whole story of getting the epesiotomy and all the problems I have had with it..
"what kind of lube do you use?"
me starting to turn red by now.....
"um......i have lots of different kinds" didn't want to say well i have this site i get these all off of....cuz i knew he probably wouldn't recognize any names.......like the tootimid pleasure gel......
"well, have you tried astroglide? I have lots of patients that said it worked good for them"
"is that silicone based?" I asked...since I haven't even considered it in the past or looked at it
"yeah I am pretty sure it is"
"oh well then nevermind"
"why?"he asked..............my face burning by now..............
"why?" he repeated
"because you can't use that with silicone toys".....my face on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!
"what?....OH!....you can't? why not? And why are you blushing"
"it will ruin the toys."
"why are you blushing"
"this isn't usually a conversation you have with your doctor....usually don't talk about sex toys!"
That was seriously funny. but i was turning red cuz I know that I am on this site all the time and didn't feel like saying....."oh I belong to this sex web site where I get stuff from and learn things ".... and so on. Not that there is anythign wrong with that........but just embarassing to talk to your doctor about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (it was to me anyways since i didn't expect the convo. to ever go that direction) but next time i might not be so embarassed.....
Too funny!!! I would be so mortified!!! Like you, I am not very open about my sex life or how big of a freak I am in real life lol. Nobody except my fiance knows I even surf a forum like this!
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This happened a two weeks ago.
We had one of the grandsons' for a few days, he is 20 months old. He sleeps in the room next to ours.
Before going to bed, he and I where looking at a 'I spy' book, naming the pictures. (love these books, so cool)
He wanted to take it to bed with him, so I let him. The next morning, we hear our door creak open and him crawaling up between us from the foot of the bed.
We hear pages turning, and him saying 'butt'............. page turns ..................'butt'............. page turns................. 'butt'
I roll over to see this little boy paging thru papa's penthouse forum. OMG!!
I gently took it away, fetched his I spy book, and he resumed naming the pictures.
Papa said he was proud of the little guy for being so smart!
I hope he is young enough to forget papa's butt book!!
OMG I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight!!! Hilarious!!!
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One night, my fiance and I got a little drunk... ok, well I was REALLY drunk! So we're goin' at it, some smokin hot sex - and I cum HARD! He goes to get in the shower and clean up and I get up to get a towell to wipe off with... well I realized that the bed was pretty wet... more so than just cum! He literally fucked the piss outta me and I didn't even realize it!!!! To this day he won't let me forget about it! Totally humiliating at the time, but freaking hilarious now!! lol
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Hey everyone, it's been a while!
So my fiance and I are looking in to having a 3some while we have the house to ourselves this coming week. My question is this: What has been your experience finding the 3rd person on Craigslist? Are there any other sites (besides crappy subscription dating sites) that would allow me and my fiance to find someone who is looking for a one night stand with us?
Also, should I post that we enjoy the use of toys in our ad or just ask that face to face? lol I am not sure how to word it without sounding like a perv, which I am! haahaha
Anyway, help is appreciated!
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no doubt, I want to make sure the person is cool and not a total creep. I've had a couple contacts so we will see what happens.
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can't stand porn with a storyline. just shut up and screw. I love wmw and mwm one on one is what I get so a little fntasy is what I want. I do go for girl on girl too, sometimes I just need to think of a hot girl playing with my tits and fingering me.
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what do you teach mikayla?
I swear you are what I want to be, even if that makes me sound über-pathetic LOL
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I used to work at petsmart and petsupermarket in Florida.but that was when I had no nails
now I work at Macys and it is crazy how many times I break my nails.
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thanks!
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I have to say I do prefer circumcised iwatched a porn one time and the guy wasn't cut and it totally turned me off, I dunno why it just is not appealing but to each their own
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it did fit, in fact I was so filled up I came instantly! he had not had sex in about a year and since I was 21 and he was 39 he said it was going to fit no matter what !!
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sweet, ron has average size balls, but they are perfect for me. my last SO was like way tiny and he was my first so I didn't know any better until I fucked ron the first time, I was like "OMg it won't fit!!" LOL
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wow that made me warm and gushy all over...
I don't think I have ever cum to where I actually gushed. I've been very wet and gushy but never down my legs. oh well :/
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privacy and alone time are definatley one of the things that go out the window. although if you lay some ground rules in the beginning those can be less of a challenge. ron and I moved in together after only 6 months of dating. I am easy to live with apparently and ron and I are very similar in our thoughts on cleanliness. he takes care of the "outside" and fix it chores. I do the housework and cooking. we both share the laundry and cleaning the cat litter.
the pet peeves though, that can be a little bit harder. ron and I usually put in our own half of the money on rent and bills, but now after 3+ years we just pay with who has the money because we consider it our money not his or mine.
before you make the move, make sure you talk about it and really lay out your expectations from him and ask him what his are of you. communication is key!
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for a penis I have to say I like a bit of girth and a little over average lengh, I love that ron's doesn't curve very much because then I can move it to how I like it with some different positions. and it makes it easier for deepthroating. which I couldn't do until I read mikaylas article on how to, thanks again!
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wow that is crazy! the toes were a little creepy though...
I finally stopped biting my nails after 22 years. although when I get fake nails I have this bad urge to pick them off so I just do my own and keep them short.
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same here I would love to have tiny lips and a tight looking pussy. I just think it looks so much nicer and inviting.
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well I found it and posted an ad I'll update if something happens
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I am going to risk sounding like a complete moron. so forgive me but what is that?
(I have been without Internet since April and I am using my iPhone to surf the web until my computer gets fixed)
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nothing too big but I am a 38 d and ron can't get enough titty fucking even after 4 years ; )
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well I have no problem with my fiancée being with me and another girl because nobody will take care of him the way that I do. and I was fairly drunk when we did it last time and I don't remember much of it other than how awesome her tits felt against mine.
we currently don't go to any clubs mainly becuase that really isn't our scene and my fiancée works 2nd shift and I am a manager at a department store. our schedules are completely messed up.
I am not thrilled with the idea of looking online but that seems to be one of my only options.
Not Sure What To Do...
in Ask A "Sexpert"
Posted
After reading your post I asked Ron how he felt about having sex on my period, he said he didn't care as long as he wouldn't be able to smell it
Maybe next time, it would have to happen in the shower though... I am not one who can handle blood. I pretty much get disgusted and sick the whole time I am on my period!