I think you just have to learn to relax. i've never had this problem. but my experience level is greater than anyone my age should be. i've backed off a lot and now look at relationships differently. just relax. the orgasm with intercourse is something that i had to teach myself. my ex and i were going at it and i was on top. he told me to stop for a second. and i just sat there and looked at him like wtf did he want me to stop for. he told me to relax. he rubbed my back (while i was sitting up on him) and told me to take a deep breathe. then he had to start again but slower. he reminded me to breath and within 3 minutes i had the biggest o of my life! it was amazing. thinking about it gives me chills. but that was the first major one i had with him and the most memorable. he was so sweet about it. it's kinda too bad that that relationship ended but we were either fighting or having make - up sex. and i couldn't handle the stress. that's about the best advice i can give for ya. relax, take deep breaths. and if he really cares for you, you should be able to enjoy yourself and him when you are with him.