lil_librarian

I concur. When I initially read this post, I honestly thought someone was posting it as a prank. If that is not the case, my apologies.

content

Total idiot and will forward on to more people to feel as I do now!

I love technology...when it works.

Well, from a Librarian's view....FREAKING AWESOME READ! I need to read some of your other posts.

True --waiting on them to sleep..I am in dire need of some alone time. TPBM is cold.

GRRRR.....all this time I could READ what everyong posted just not repsond...internet issues. So I am responding to everyone collectively, sorry in advance if the thoughts are jumbled. Thank you all for responding! I definately learned that I can not have sex with someone that I do not have deeper feelings for, my brain is just not wired for that. I did completely disconnect though, I was not even in the moment, even though moments before the foreplay had me humming. Was it just him? Would this happen with someone I really cared for deeply? I have no idea, I guess I will have to wait and see. I would not say he was experienced because I had to instructed him on what felt right during foreplay and it was some basic stuff. That being said there was no way he would have known whether I faked an orgasm or not. That was NOT what I faked, I faked that I was ok after ward. I would say that even after another 20 dates with this guy, I am going to react the same. And I know that I can not mentally experience what I felt that night again. About mid day the next day, the numbness wore off and I felt really lousy. I had the ultimate joy ( I jest ) of giving the " It's not You, It's Me" speech, because he was already planning for the next night of fun. I read all of these posts and cried. The crying felt pretty good though. If nothing else it was very helpful to share with someone what happened. For me it is not particularly easy to expose my fears and concerns about sex and how that affects my relationships. I liken everyday as a survivor of abuse as a dance, some days a waltz thru it gracefully, others I stumble thru. Thanks for the great comments..it really helped!

smile

Welcome

amuse

TRUE and has every intention of going back to her bed in about 45 minutes..lol! TPBM is planning on building a snowman today!

HA, could not be more true. TPBM is enjoying sleeping in this a.m.

False, no snow for me thank God! TPBM is looking forward to work today!

tickle

A brief blurb about my past relationship: I was married to a man who took great joy in abusing me in every way imaginable. After I literally escaped, I spent a great deal of time unable to look men in the eye and accept the causual touch of adult male family members like my Dad and my brothers. It took awhile, but I stopped feeling like that, although I still struggle with eye contact. I've never had a sexual relationship with someone that I was not married to. I have also never really dated, so I find this new world I am in intimidating. I ask myself, How in the world do I have a sexual relationship with someone that I have no committed relationship with? Fast forward to tonight: I've been out about 3 times with a really nice guy. Treats me like a lady, is really "into me". I enjoy his company, I enjoy exploring my sexual side with him. I like him as a person but can not see it becoming anything more than a friendship. He knows that I feel that way too. He also knows about my past. He knows how to arouse me sexually but I am not extremely sexually attracted to him. ( If that makes sense) The foreplay is outstanding between us. So tonight we had sex, and it was not great. He wants a repeat performance, I can't imagine repeating it. Although, I am glad that I am not crying and upset over the whole thing, I feel strangely numb. We had spent the whole evening together and once he finished, I just wanted him gone so I could shower. I gave an Oscar worthy performance though, so as not to hurt his feelings. Maybe I am not cut out for sex unless I am "in love" with someone. Maybe I am completely broken and doomed to a life of orgasming via toys. I realize that none of you can magically fix this for me, but if someone has some sage advice, bring it on.

rub

After a LONG day, I'm getting ready for someone to come over and "visit" with me. I wonder what will happen. This is the 1st guy I've invited over since my divorce.

False TPBM needs a neck massage.

stab

Welcome, looking forward to reading your posts!

sheild

False TPBM is waiting for a phone call.

soldier

FALSE TPBM is ready for a nap!

cheese