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JJ_Amie

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Posts posted by JJ_Amie

  1. Alright, my wife has been reading books like "50 shades of gray" and other books about men spanking women. I didn't think anything of it. I mean just because she reads fiction about, didn't mean she was into it. All is well, I mean she even tried some new stuff and I thought it is cool. But then in some of our flirtations, she has hinted on a couple of occasions the need of a spanking. I brushed it off the first couple of times. She is provoking it too.

    Now please understand, I come from an Ole South upbringing. Ladies are suppose to be treated as princesses. I still hold the open the door for her. I escort her as if we were still date. I still say yes ma'am and no ma'am to her. After 14 years of marriages and countless arguments, I have never called her a "bitch" or any ugly name. I have ran off people who have been disrespectful to her. I have never even dared raise a hand to her, she is precious to me. In my family and where I am from, you just don't hit women (if for no other reason than, its a good way to end up dead.)

    I know that this wouldn't be the same as actually hitting her, I just need some guidance here. I guess you would say I have lived a sheltered existence as far as this goes. I don't think she wants to be humiliated or abused. I will be honest, I don't know what she is wanting. Any guidance would be appreciated.

  2. Alright, my wife has been reading books like "50 shades of gray" and other books about men spanking women. I didn't think anything of it. I mean just because she reads fiction about, didn't mean she was into it. All is well, I mean she even tried some new stuff and I thought it is cool. But then in some of our flirtations, she has hinted on a couple of occasions the need of a spanking. I brushed it off the first couple of times. She is provoking it too.

    Now please understand, I come from an Ole South upbringing. Ladies are suppose to be treated as princesses. I still hold the open the door for her. I escort her as if we were still date. I still say yes ma'am and no ma'am to her. After 14 years of marriages and countless arguments, I have never called her a "bitch" or any ugly name. I have ran off people who have been disrespectful to her. I have never even dared raise a hand to her, she is precious to me. In my family and where I am from, you just don't hit women (if for no other reason than, its a good way to end up dead.)

    I know that this wouldn't be the same as actually hitting her, I just need some guidance here. I guess you would say I have lived a sheltered existence as far as this goes. I don't think she wants to be humiliated or abused. I will be honest, I don't know what she is wanting. Any guidance would be appreciated.

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  3. I did ask my father-in-law. He wasn't thrilled with the idea. He thought we ought to finish college first, but knew I would treat his daughter with respect and I have surpassed his expectations. Because of that, he and I are really good friends. I was raised in the deep south and some traditions you just don't mess with. By the way before any one asks, no she is NOT my cousin.

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  4. No, not at one time.I mean like if you were dating someone, and you found out they had, let's say 25 previous lovers. Would that be ok, or would you possibly have a problem with that? HOPEFULLY one would stop putting notches in their belts when they get married, but let's face it, not all people do! Anyway, just curious to see what some of our free-thinking members may consider a "high" number as far as lovers go. No judgements, just opinions.

    When I got married I had to stop putting notches in that belt and trade it in for a bigger belt.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
  5. I have followed your post. I can say that Amie and I went through a lot of this a couple of years ago. She had a lot on her and out of the blue, my company let me go. She was working, I was looking for work, She was paying the bills, cleaning and taking care of our daughter. I had checked out mentally. I didn't talk to to her about what was going on in my head either. Here is what was going on in my head: I no longer felt like a man. I couldn't tell her that though. And it turned into 3 months and we hadn't even kissed passionatly. Finally I got mad and yelled at her and three months of frustation blew up at me in about 30 minutes. I was so mad, but I listened to her. She is the love of my life and I had been shutting her out, not being her partner. I started by making myself a list of things to do (Chore List). I cooked supper (she hates to cook too) I tried to clean dishes as I cooked, she cleaned up after supper. I went back to giving DD and putting her to bed. I helped with the cleaning and made sure to do a load of laundry on tuesday and friday. I was still hurting and didn't want to talk, but she understood and loved me anyway.

    I can't make him listen, but you know deep down how to get his attention. Yelling doesn't get the results you are looking for, so what will work? How long have ya'll just talked about what your daughter is doing in school?

    I don't know what to say about the pain pills or the nipple flipping, but I can speak to the core of this from experience.

  6. Sorry Tyger, I didn't mean to imply that your husband was cheating on you. And you used good logic in kicking your first husband out. I guess, in my experience, my wife has never done anything so horrible that I couldn't forgive her. And, though I am a big dumb jerk, she has always forgiven me for my transgressions. Most of the time, though, it is stuff like forgetting to take the garbage to the road.

    • Like 1
  7. I have seen couples overcome these transgressions. It take a long time and was hard on both the transgressor and the offended spouse. The thing you want to ask, is he truly remorseful and if giving the opportunity, would he do it again. If he did it again, how would you feel about that. It will take lots of time to work these things out and more people don't make it than do. If you truly love him, I would incourage you to try to work things out, but don't battle anything up. And if he has a hard timme facing the truth, he will need to adapt to it.

  8. I use hot water and a sharp razor. If I had a thick hair already I would trim it as shor as I could before I got started. If you could trim it outside it would save o a mess. Shave IN the shower to save on another mess. If you can find a shaving cream or foam w/o alcohol, that helps. Don't get in a hurry and make sure that you have plenty of hot water. You will find out that we like it better when we are going down on a lady, that less hair is better. I'm not saying we won't do it, or that we will but we won't like it. I am just saying that it is more preferable with less or no hair. But in the end, it is really different strokes for different folks. My wife also likes it better because things feel different on her pubis region. As far as the type of haircut you want, I will just leave that to your preferance.

  9. Like Shorty said, all you can is tell her how amazing you think she looks. I'm not huge by any means but I still see all my flaws when I look in the mirror. One of the things that makes me feel sexy is when a guy just can't keep his hands off me, admittedly at first I'm like "Yup, that's a fat roll" but eventually that thought fades and I'm basking in how amazing he makes me feel. And there's a look, it can't be faked, and maybe you already do, I'm betting you do, but when a guy looks at a girl like she's the most beautiful thing in the world, its like ego-crack.

    You are SO right. You can't fake real desire.

  10. Being sincerely supportive, as you seem to be, is very important. However, until she find a way to love herself nothing is going to change. It doesn't matter if your thin, curvy or obese, if one doesn't love themselves for who and what they are it's not happening. Your wife NEEDS to find ways to increase her self image. Exercise is a great way... Now she may not be into going to a gym, or running, there are all kind so things you can do. You could start out by suggesting an evening walk, a family bike ride.... just get up and move and she'll feel more alive and invigorated. If she doesn't work, perhaps she needs to find a part time job to make her feel good about herself, the key is she needs to help herself, she's the only one that can do it.

    I like these ideas. We are about to take a trip, and we will talk about it on our road trip. Thank you Ladylove.

  11. My wife is much the same way, she is very unhappy overall with the way she looks. Like has already been mentioned, honest compliments go a long way. Mean them. When it looks like she is having a particularly "up" day, comment on it(they are obvious when they happen). With confidence comes more self esteem and vice versa. You can create a cycle in which she constantly feels good and then feels good about feeling good. Will she ever stop being hard on herself? Probably not, but as a loving partner who she respects, your opinion goes a long way.

    Randy.

    Randy,

    Thanks that's real good advice. I DO tell her how pretty she is. Maybe I do it too much and not at the right times. I will take your advice. You are also right when you say"mean it", she can read a lie a mile off.

  12. I have been in love with my wife since the day I met her. She has always appeared to me as a beautiful women. She hasn't ever felt the same way. You see, she has always been, as they say, curvy. When we were dating, she wasn't big, but she wasn't skinny. Keep in mind that we were dating in the late 90's and all of those heroin addict models were everywhere to be seen in the media. I have never been drawn to that sickly skinny look,real women have curves. When I told her how beautiful I thought she was, she would tell me I am crazy or that I was just trying to get into her pants. The fact is, when she would walk into a room, my heart would jump out of my chest.

    Now fast forward to today, we have been married for 11 years, we have 2 kids. and she is still the most beautiful woman in any room we walk in. The problem is now, it is more than she is uncomforable with the way she looks, she hates the way she looks. To put it plainly, she says she is too fat. I wish I knew how to make her more accpetant of her appearance. I want to make her realize that the measuring stick that she has been measuring herself to is a hollywood fabrication and isn't real. I want her to know that the way she looks is the way real women look and that she is beautiful.

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