[Saw This, Thought I'd Share...]

One of my best friends travels most of the time. I think this would be perfect for him. Although he might break the tablet due to excessive shaking! This thing is hilarious!!

[Tantric Technique-Mdp (Million Dollar Point)]

I agree AND disagree wtih Hyokahey.

He is correct on the guidelines and methods for using a cock ring. However, coming from a woman whose hubby used cock rings for extending orgasm and for maintaining erection, they CAN work wonders to do both. I think that while you are working on training your mind and getting control on your PC muscles, this might be a thing to try. Cock rings are cheap, get a 3 pack to find the right fit - and just try. It isn't a solution, but it might work while you learn more about your body.

I get it, attack the problem on mutliple fronts and enjoy the ride as well! Mikayla, do you agree that the sling type is the best to start with or the rubber rings?

[Tantric Technique-Mdp (Million Dollar Point)]

I find rings uncomfortable and quite frankly, useless myself, but others may have other opinions (that's why I love this place).

The first bit is to use the right size ring...this does matter quite a bit..too large=no real effect, and too small=OUCH. Be absolutely sure of the size before you use a steel ring! I suggest you start with the 'loop' style that is flexible, and very easy to take off fast. You want to 'lassoo' your balls first, one by one, through the hoop, then your penis through. Then, when you get aroused, the blood flow get more or less trapped. The flexible ones that have a tension bead, or the 'gummy' type ones are best to start with. Though rings can delay ejaculation, for some guys this is not so at all, they just keep you hard after ejaculation so you can keep going, but for most of us, that can be at least uncomfortably sensitive, if not downright painful. Never use a ring for more than 15 minutes.

In my personal and professional opinion, I would only use the rings as novelty/play items, and focus instead on learning to control your own PC muscle and learn to attend to your anxiety during sex as a means to delay orgasm.

That makes a lot of sense! I am definately working on the PC muscle and anxiety side first! I appreciate your candor as well.

[Tantric Technique-Mdp (Million Dollar Point)]

I would suggest some reading materials on this, such as:

The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson

Or

Introduction to Tantra by Lama Yeshe

But, in a nutshell the MDP is the spot between the balls and the rectum. If you push in the correct spot - at the correct time - and with other techniques, you can successfully stop or significantly delay orgasm. I have practiced Tantra and know that it is possible as well as pleasureable. The key is to do it BEFORE the flow of semen gets through the semenal vessel, you have to effectively 'pinch' it off, wait for the orgasm feeling to sort of digress, then start again.

Did that help? I can give you more specifics and tecchniques if you would like.

Hopefully one last question- what is the proper way to put on (install) a cock ring?

[Tantric Technique-Mdp (Million Dollar Point)]

I would suggest some reading materials on this, such as:

The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson

Or

Introduction to Tantra by Lama Yeshe

But, in a nutshell the MDP is the spot between the balls and the rectum. If you push in the correct spot - at the correct time - and with other techniques, you can successfully stop or significantly delay orgasm. I have practiced Tantra and know that it is possible as well as pleasureable. The key is to do it BEFORE the flow of semen gets through the semenal vessel, you have to effectively 'pinch' it off, wait for the orgasm feeling to sort of digress, then start again.

Did that help? I can give you more specifics and tecchniques if you would like.

That does help! I'm new to all of this and definately am looking for as much info as possible. I'll get to reading and try. Anymore info will be greatly appreciated. I have to say that you guys are great! I love reading all that you have to share! Thanks to all!!

[Tantric Technique-Mdp (Million Dollar Point)]

I just read an forum topic from a while back about learning to control ejaculations. I have had trouble with lasting during intercourse for quite sometime and it has affected my relationship with my wife. We have gotten to the point where we're talking about this and both know that its an issue. I've tried start/ stop and honestly it's just ruins the moment! I tried a cock ring and I assume I put it on right but it didn't really work. I will am now working on relaxing during intercourse and to focus more on me than others. In reading the one forum it mentioned Tantric techniques. Can someone help me understand what this is and where I can find more info about this. I'm willing to try just about anything to get stamina back and pleasure!! I've read quite a bit on TT and trust everyone's input!

[Intimate Discussions]

Of course 'communication' is necessary, but to clarify, too many folks narrow down the problem to 'communication'. In fact, when couples are having less than stellar sex, or no sex at all, they are 'communicating' rather well. Our sexuality is a means of communication, after all.

I have come to believe that there are actually people in the world who do not think of sex nearly as often as I do. (HA!) For many low desire people, they really do not think about sex or the lack thereof. Compare it to a food you don't especially like...do you think of it often? Likely not.

While I agree with Mikayla's view of a passion to become an artist at sex, once again, not everyone appreciates art! Can a low desire partner come to a point where they discipline themselves to be cognizant of their high desire partner's desires and 'just do it'? That certainly is possible, but many high desire folks find the results of that kind of sex to leave them feeling hollow and unfulfilled.

The trick is for we high desire people (I am high desire for both sex and intimacy, which is a double whammy)to self validate enough to claim our sensuality and sexual desires as good, not excessive, and legitimate; we must never 'give up' our genuine desires to keep our lower desire partner from carping at us.

Having such 'talks' is daunting. The key, I think, is to approach it from the very best place in you, and from the perspective of not so much sex, but fulfillment in the relationship. If you can keep your negative thoughts under control when you do this, and keep your highly charged and negative emotions in check as well, your statements about what you desire in relationship will be far more clear, ring true, and have authority.

This is no guarantee that your partner will change or even 'hear' you. But then, the process is not about your partner, it's all about you. Having shared your heart and mind with your partner, the 'ball is in their court'. You are now in a better position to decide if you have enough love in your heart for your partner to stay put, or learn to cope with less frequency, variety, and intensity than you desire.

P.S. I'll say it again: if you ever need someone to tell your husband how lucky he is, let me know, Mikayla!

Thanks for your input! Overall it makes sense and gives me more to think about. I did have the heart felt discussion (probably some of the negative feelings came through but none the less heart felt!!). That part is in her hands and may not go anywhere but I definately need to decide how much I am willing to hang in there. I'm busting my butt to lose weight and get in shape. I'm taking care of myself 1st so I'm better able to take care of her. I honestly think that if it doesn't improve from there that I've done all I can and a decision will need to be made. To all, thanks for your advice. This is actually the 1st time I've ever done anything like this.

[Intimate Discussions]

Ditto that Wendy!!

I understand most everything that is said so far. But as a man who really is in the same situation, it seems that what needs to happen is improved communication to expess wants, feelings and desires. (I could be wrong) Assuming that to be the next step, what are some suggestions to initiate discussions without seeming to be "Just interested in sex". I don't mean to push my issues into the thread but opening up yourself can be very scary!