bamagurl75

I AGREE WITH 12GAUGE. Thanks for helping me out and anybody else who might be interested. My fiance and I have plans to drive into the city this weekend and hit on e of the stores there. I'll be mortified if I see someone I know, but there's always a first time, right?

Well, this butterfly has a tail, too, so it stays in place very nicely. And I'm sure my first experience in a store won't be nearly as traumatic as I'm expecting. Thanks so much for all your input. YOu made me stop and think about some of my neuroses about talking with my fiance. It's the strangest thing. We have always been very open with each other about everything else. I don't know why I was so worried about this one thing. Oh, well. Now that the topic is on the table, it doesn't seem so scary. Go figure.

[quote=howard4570,Aug 20 2005, 03:04 You're probably right about the school board. And I'm probably being a bit paranoid. But cut me a little slack, I'd never even considered going in one of those stores until recently. This is TOTALLY new territory for me. I've always liked sex without the extras and never really saw a need for more, until things got a little difficult (well, a lot difficult) with my fiance. However, I got a really interesting--and unexpected--package in the mail today. He sent me this really plain package. Imagine my surprise when I opened and found this really pretty butterfly. My very first toy! He obviously ordered the same day we had our little chat. I don't think I'm gonna wait until I see him next week to try it out.

Part of the problem has been that he was on some medication that affected his functions. He's off the meds now, so things are looking up. We both LOVE oral sex so that has been an alternative, but I was looking for something else. But he totally surprised me this afternoon when he offered me his credit card to "pick out a few things". I was stressin' over nothing. He wants to try whatever I'm up for--except for anal stuff. Still kinda touchy about that subject. I may have to give that some thought. Any suggestions?

After you blasted me and my fiance, I picked up the phone and called him. He's really not a total asshole. I just asked how he felt about using toys. He started naming sites to go check out and find what I like! He's still not really open to anal stuff, but his words to me were "I'm 35 yrs old and was married to a stripper. Do you really think toys scare me? " He said the only reason he hasn't brought up the subject was that with his other issues, he was afraid that I'd think he just wasn't getting what he needed from me. So we're both totally neurotic and too worried about stepping on the other's toes that we've been missing out. I guess we're a matched set.

I don't think he thinks it's deviant, he just isn't comfortable with trying new things. His ex-wife was always up for trying new stuff--she just tried it with any willing male she came in contact with--and there were A LOT . (she was a stripper) Part of the problem is that he took a huge blow to his ego and I don't want to give it another dent. I am not sure how to avoid that, especially since he's already feeling pressured about the whole ED thing.

I am getting married in the spring and my fiance is a little unsure about using toys and has said he doen't like anal and is not interested in trying it with me. I've never used toys and never tried anal, but I'm curious. On top of that, he's having some erectile dysfunction so sex in gerneral is kinda hit or miss. How do I approach some alternative measures and how do I approach trying anal without making hurting his feelings and without making him think that it's all his fault? Oh, and he's got control issues--no bondage for this boy, he's a cop and EVERYTHING is somehow his responsibility.