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Be completely honost with him. You certainly don't want to go through a relationship and not be sexually satisfied if allyou have to do is ask for it. If it scares him off at first, tell him that you want to take it slower, but that it is something that you need. You don't need to get out the whips and chains at first. Try something that allows him to be aggressive with just his body, like slapping your pussy with an open palm while you masturbate or while he fingers you. Or have him pinch your tits while you are fucking and keep asking him to do it harder. You probably won't have to act that he is turning you on or making you hotter the harder he slaps your twat, but tell him anyway. Ask for it. Get him into it, then when he sees how much force you really want, he will start to want to give it to you. Once you have him over the hill, he will take the reins (if you like the pony stuff ) and slap your ass all night. Then you can start using the whips and chains that you really love. A word of note: Once in awhile you really should go back to a nice gentle session, just to keep things in perspective. Familiarity breeds contempt, etc., etc. You may also try role playing as his 'slave' and be a very naughty slave that needs punishment. Then be even naughtier. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

I have been actively exploring anal since a very young age. I am happily married for 10 years and over those years both my wife and I have explored deeply our love of anal. When I was young I would find anything I could to stick in my ass that I thought would challenge me, etc. From the shaped handle of the toilet plunger, to toys, etc. I was suprised at the size of object I could stick into my ass at such a young age (12-15). I could stick a 1 liter coke bottle in my ass up to the middle (the widest part). I would do this with a full bottle, then jack off while it slid out. It was intense! When I got into highschool I stopped playing around as much but would still stick a finger in my ass when I jacked off. I was simply exploring what made me feel great. Since the beginning of my relationship with my wife we have explored anal pleasures. She was a little uneasy at first, having never tried anything like it on her own. We started slow, and now she loves not only anal, but also DP with a large dildo in her ass. My wife comes so much harder with anal and clit stimulation than from pussy and clit stimulation. She claims that there is no comparison in intensity. All of our experiences have been good, even when we go too fast for each other. Actually, sometimes going too fast and causing a little pain is what we want at the time. The most incredible thing she has ever done to me (and I can't wait to do it again) was... (setting the scene) We have played many games over the years, some at the suggestion of sex help books, etc. One of the games was to be a slave for the day for each others birthdays. I agreed to be her absolute slave for her birthday, to be used by her at her whim and command. That night, I came into the bedroom after getting the kids to bed and she was standing there wearing a smile and our strapon toy. She ordered me to suck the cock of the strap on, and to do a good job. I tried hard to swallow as much as I could and do a good job, but she was playing me. I did not perform up to her standards (she can deep throat that same cock), so she ordered me to turn around. She stuck one lubed finger in my ass one time. Suddenly I felt the head of that cock drive into me hard. She was raping my ass. It took a minute to adjust to the preasure, but she never let up. She fucked my ass hard and long. After a minute of mild pain, I relaxed and really started to enjoy it. If you have never orgasmed without ejaculation, there is no describing it. It is an unending sensation, one long continuous convulsion of sensations. I have experienced this evertime that I am fucked in the ass by my wife. I will call it an orgasm even though I do not ejaculate. It feels even more intense and all the same properties are there as an ejaculatory orgasm. I do come eventually, but by then I have been on a continuous cycle for a long time. To experience that kind of pleasure is unbelievable and extraordinary. When I had satisfied her fully she told me to clean out her pussy and lick her ass. It was an intense night and well worth repeating.