Rfh

Damn Rob, that has to be a challenge, but thanks for the reply. I sort of feel like an idiot for complaining sometimes. We'v tried some dildos etc, but they all wind up irritating her skin..All in all the thing that makes me MOST fulfilled is seeing her catch fire. If she's really getting hot, I guess I will have to admit, I wouldnt care so much which part of me is making that happen to her, but my ability to make her orgasm at all seems to be falling off, and I just turn all that into my fault....oddly enough I wish she would be a more selfish lover, over the years she's shifted more towards making me happy, which is certainly appreciated, but I wish we could prioritize her pleasure.......I admire your ability to do the other men thing in a way that can be enjoyable for both of you. I just dont know if I could. I wish we could try again, my wife and I, that is another fantasy that I sometimes linger too long on. But again, knowing myself, is that a selfless thought meant to fulfill some desire of hers (and a way for me to get off) or is it just my self destructiveness, my tendency to self nullify? If I take a look at the aftermath of the times we've tried other men, the first 2 times she was upset so that flavored my reaction, and the last time she almost left me, so that sort of took all the fun out of it for me.

ive heard that one before. and all things considered, there is certainly some truth in that. However, the source of my focused concern, the thing that drives me nuts, is that in my specific case, the good old in and out (from me anyway ) just doesnt seem to do much for my wife...believe me 31 years of different positions, techniques etc....and yes I can get her off 93 other ways and from what Ive read, orgasm thru intercourse sometimes just doesnt happen for some couples, but as to my current mental state, call it a midlife crisis, call it looking back and questioning my life.....for some reason the fact that I cant make the eyes roll back in her head and have abdominal seizures with my cock is bothering me these days.

No, snuggling was never her thing. Neither " making out" sex or nothing pretty much. In all honesty, when things are good they're great, when things slow and stumble my mind just goes to all sorts of bad places. I know ebb and flow is normal, and I'm sure it's not all my fault. I tend to make things my fault sometimes though. I certainly do have confidence issues, but I think an objective observer would say I've been kicked in the nuts enough to reinforce that. Anyway thanks ks for the replies. A few days from now I will most likely feel better and go a while without feeling like this. It just creeps in once In a while.

Looking back over the years, I've never been happy with my penis size. Maybe 5.5 or so. My wife has never had an orgasm from sex with me. Well maybe a handful of times when on top. Like 4 in 31 years. Foreplay has always been great and I used to make her cum with oral and then just do my thing and be done with it. She's not one for afterplay although I am. I like to snuggle, she does not. The only physical intimacy I get is sex and the frequency is falling off. Don't get me wrong, our sex life is hotter than most married couples we know but... Sex almost always end with her and her vibrator. Sometimes that doesn't work for her and I just feel awful. Also sometimes I can go on for a long time, but she says she doesn't enjoy that. My thinking is that if I felt good to her than she wouldnt mind. Over the years I've had some indications that if I was larger she'd be happier. Once I used a small extension and she came in about a minute. Flipped me out. I did think it was hot! I questioned her about that and I guess she saw where.my.mind was going and she never let me use it again. Kind of her in a way I guess, but i would still do that if she let me. We've had threesomes a few times, (mmfs) I think we were both a little to nervous to enjoy it the way we should have, ...I know she came with one guy a couple times.. this guy was legit huge and she almost left me for him In fact, which she blamed on underlying marriage problems but I think he just knocked her socks off and she realized what she'd been missing..and once that wore off she came back down to earth. In fact, when 3 ways came up in conversation ( not about us) i told her I'd do it again if I had some assurance she wouldn't leave me and she just said they are to dangerous. That she had to have feelings for someone before doing that and that sex made her feel like she had feelings for someone. Once when she was lining up a three way with a guy she knew and had been with in the past , ( an old boyfriend) and she sort of warned me that she might scream loudly with him and if that was ok..she barely makes any sounds with me..what the heck did that mean? That he was a larger and shed probably cum with him I guess...I looked sort of pained when she said that and that and she sort of backed out of that one. And once, some years ago, there was this tendon release surgery she read about that was supposed to make your dick bigger and she actually suggested I have it. ( No thanks) All this crap has just been rattling around in my head recently, I feel totally haunted by the notion that I've never satisfied her properly. And while I would find it hot to see her lose her mind with some hung dude it would be self destructive in a way, like I just want more proof so I can feel worse about myself, it really sucks.