I have been married for 20yrs. My husband is 12 yrs older. Hes 62 and im 50. My issue is my husband will watch porn whenever he gets a chance. I watch it with him at times but not all of the time. But i noticed he likes a certain girl over and over and over she is young mid or late 20s. He can not have sex with the lights on. And he has to always come from behind as to not see my front. And always bring my sisters name in conversations just as im about to give him a hob nob. Really..
I have medical issues that keep me from back flips and standing on my head to twerk. Lol. I have a bone disease my spine. I have lost all my teeth due to the bone deterioration and i might add i have heart disease. Im not goodlooking anymore you can see yrs of stress and bullshit. He has told me that i have gotten big and my depression that i was clinically diagnoised with he dont like it and i have nothing to be depressed about.
Well, hes wrong and his ignoring me and texting other women telling them they gorgios and beautiful never telling me that anymore. He went as far as to not acknowledging our marriage on facebook. We was connected but only with him he has over 300 friends. He has met up with other women not telling them hes married.
Now, lately he has been begging me to have a fmf its his fantacy. Well he really dont go out of his way to satisfy me. I have had to take care of myself because when he gets off hes done. He rolls over as to not watch. He has only been down on me 3 times since we have married claims he dont no how to very well. Really..
My question is is there anything wrong with me? I dont want a 3 because it just gives him permission to go out. And he knows im the jealous type. I mean i do have reasons to be. I have been lied to so much i havent friends because they all want my husband. I have no money or job nothing so leaving is out of the question. My heart is broken so bad from him his neglect of me. What can i do to get him to notice me again? I also have a very low self-esteem. My sister (younger) just happens to resemble the girl on porn to. So this really bothers me he said i have blown it out of proportion.
