HappilyMarried2
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Thank you for your reply. I too keep it completely shaved,and do so when i shower,or when ever the mood strikes me. *L*,but then if i'm alone it usually ends up with me masterbating.Which can't be a bad thing! I do find it adds to the act of lovemaking also,and would hate to interupt a great bj.
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nothing worse than having to break out the brush, hairspray and rubberbands before sex, just so you can french braid the shit to get it out of your way before oral!!!!! I PREFER shaved on my hubby, PERIOD! I like a little hair on the upper part, it blends with that sexy slight trail of hair he has leading up his belly, to his belly button, to this chest. The balls? Better be slicker than a babies but if he wants me to suck and lick on them. I will purrrr and pretend to be a kitty cat all he likes, but I REFUSE to cough of hairballs!
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I love when a woman wears a choker, high heels, the gloves are also a home run. I perfer the look that women go for, as apposed to the indiviual articles of clothing. I LOVE knee high or thigh high boots, stockings, and a white mens dress shirt. If a woman looks intelligent, sophisticated, and a bit aloof, but throws that curve ball of sexy/trashy in the mix, I am hooked. Like hair in a bun, small rectangular glasses, little to no make-up, white dress shirt, mini skirt but the knee high black leather boots.......Oh my......I am done for. Or....a regular shirt, skirt, hair down, thigh high boots and the choker.....that is almost an eyegasm walking my way. I love to see the women who like to show that they know what men want.....but that is just me.
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I had glamour shots (pictures) taken a few years back. They put me in a leather jacket (nothing underneath) and leather skirt riding a Harley. They propped me with with a rose in my mouth and black shades hanging off my nose with a seductive look coming from my hazel eyes. Guess what? My Husband at that time (ex now, haha) chose a different picture for his wallet. Guess which one that was? It was the one where I had a womens suit on. Suit and skirt barely covering my ass. It was a navy pin striped suit. I had a white lacy camasole (slip) under that only showed the lace by the time the top button was done. Very little cleavage showing... hair pulled up with curl stringlets falling down and my reading glasses. They had me sitting on the edge of a desk with my legs crossed while I was holding what appeared to be a file of some sorts. With white plain hose on and navy heals.... No body parts showed, but my husband was SO TURNED ON TO THAT, and said that ALL the men he showed it too asked how much he had to pay me to be with him! Just funny how I purchased more of the "sexy seductive" type of pictures for him, and he chose the one I only had proofs of. Men always amaze me... so who said trashy-slutty is in??? Being a safisticated business woman hasn't turned out so bad for me..... Well... that was just my silly story... Think I will put that suit on tonight for dinner now.. haha...
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I love my husband and our sex life when in effect is great. But he is away for a year on business and recently i have been wanting and dreaming about having sex with another man. Not anyman but a certain man i met. I have been working hard to fight this temptation. What do i do?
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Just a question... If you had a major surgery (lets say for cancer) and you were laid up in a bed for a year trying to recoup.... don't you think that although your hubby would care and still love you, that he would have sexual desires not being met either? Would you feel like it would be ok for him to mess around? The key here is, this is NOT a lifetime thing. He is simply gone for a year, not the rest of your life. YOU can WAIT! If this is his career and you knew it up front, to my opinion you are obligated to try your very best and support him. Part of supporting him, is being a faithful wife that he just can't hardly wait to come home to. I don't mean all this in a harsh way, just put yourself in his shoes. If you expect to have a strong relationship, wait for him. Don't think for half a second he wont face these same trials. My advice is to share with him how you are feeling, and explain to him all the thought you put into this and how you came to the conclusion that you just love him more than life itself and that temporarily satisfying yourself is NOT an option for you. Most adults are not stupid. Instead of you wondering if your "military" husband is having flings like a lot of military men do, explain that you are in this life together and you also have the same thoughts from time to time. Talk about these feelings before you do something wrong, or he does. That is why marriages and relationships fail. Men and women alike decide to "SHARE" their adultrous affairs AFTER the fact because of two reasons. Number one is the guilt eats them alive and they simply can't live without coming clean to their mate. The second is, they found the void filled with the other person and they want to end their relationship with current mate. Either one is not good. So instead of people screwing up relationships and killing people's souls, why not share your NORMAL feelings with him now? Girl these are NORMAL feelings! You are an adult, and a woman who has desires and needs. I know this sounds crazy, but if your relationship is great with hubby other than the lack of sex just because of distance... then masterbate like hell girl. EVERY CHANCE YOU GET> That will release some of your chemicles which could otherwise affect how you are desiring another man. It sounds like your attraction with the other man is stemming from the lack of sex with hubby... don't mess this up. What a caring and loving person you must be to see this up front, recognize it and get opinions. This site and these people on here could have just possibly kept you from making the mistake of a lifetime! Good for you, and good advice from all your friends here! One last note...whoever before said end your marriage first was RIGHT! If you feel that you will NOT be able to hold out and wait for hubby at ANY GIVEN MOMENT... it is not HIS fault. Don't kill his soul while he is busy trying to defend our country putting his life on the line there. As hurt as a mate feels when the other breaks it off, it is only multiplied by a thousand to find they cheated first. Hang in there girly, and best wishes to you and your husband!
HM2
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It is true that those yeast infections SUCK! I have been fortunate to only have had a few, one was after my honeymoon...too much sex in the jacuzzi! I definitely think you should check for an infection then..but I am sure you are careful to avoid infection i.e. always go to the bathroom before and after sex, make sure you don't wear too tight of clothing for too long, wear panty shields as extra protection, then you should be OK. I think if you do all that, then what is the harm if you are wet? Men like that, rather than being dry and rough!
Take care,
Mikayla
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Mikayla is so wise isn't she? I agree with her. I also am a very WET gal... I don't think I am as you are saying. I typically just sop at the thought of sex with hubby, or right before or something. But I have been told many times that I am OVERLY wet. It use to bother me, until hubby told me how sexy that was. He said it made him feel like he was doing something right. I wish more men would reply to your message, as I think that is really the gender you are looking for opinions from. Unless you are lesbian or bi, aren't you looking to see how men feel about something that is none the less concerning you? MEN REPLY TO HER... haha.
HM2
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No, I have never seen or heard of them, so I'll take that with a grain of salt. You mentioned something else - facial expressions. She never makes those and I can't understand why. She will have a light grin on her face maybe, but nothing else and it is usually very stoic (One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain) the whole time. That kind of freaks me out. Even without having an orgasm, almost all women will at least have some signs of pleasure on their face during the act. I know I certainly do, and she says she loves to watch my face. Having sex now is getting that sometimes its difficult for me to get hard because I just don't think she is into it. Is that normal for guys? She did shave quite a bit down there recently to and I LOVED that and told her so. I want more of it after that. So SEXY! We have so many lubes in the drawer that its funny. Warming Jel is one of them. The vibrator is in the same drawer next to the bed and each time we go to bed I'm thinking, "I wish she would get it out and show me". She says she trusts me so much, but you wouldn't know it. I personally think she really needs to talk to someone professionally, and nothing will change until then.
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I am with you, she needs help! One thing for you to think about, quit feeling like you are doing something wrong, you said it yourself, you can't change her. Second, you might need to express to her that it hurts you to CONSTANTLY be compared to all her "past" lovers. When she tells you that she had sex for 20 years and didn't want to, and then tells you she just can't get into it???? DOES A LIGHTBULB NOT SHINE BRIGHT ON YOU RIGHT NOW? When she starts that, tell her. I just can't live 20 years or better with a woman that I am constantly feeling like doesn't really want to be there (in sexual acts). I deserve to have you or any mate that I am with enjoy this, and be happy about it, tell her.
Telecom... suck it up. I speak as a woman here. Don't let your emotions over run you here. Give her an ultimatum. Tell her this involves BOTH of you, so you want her to either seek a sex therapists opinion, go to the doctor about it, or agree to start attempting to give you some of your desires. Let's be honest. If you men are correct and say it is a for real thing that you just have to cum or your nuts will fall off, then really... you are getting what you need right? You are having sex right? Just not the desirable king you are looking for? Tell her those are her choices. Tell her she has one week to set up an appointment (knowing that we are at holiday seasons coming up the appointment might be in January) but atleast get her committment and a committed day where you know help is on the way. Here is the hard part.. the ultimatum! If she does NOT follow through, tell her you think you need time apart. A separation. You need to think if you are prepared to live just like you are now (sexually) for the rest of your life. And DO SO. THINK long and hard about it I mean LONG AND HARD. These are serious issues you are talking about, in most couples it can make or break it. If after your separation you just can't live without her, desirable sex or no sex, at least you will walk with knowing that you had a choice that you CHOSE to be with her. Then you can ALWAYS go back to that separation point in your mind, and remember why you went back, it will be helpful for those times you get discouraged again and wonder why you are there. Make a memory in your mind. On the other hand, you just might find that your needs are very important to you (as most) and realize love doesn't conquer all sometimes. Sex is a HUGE thing in relationships. No matter what you decide, you are either going to make this gal one happy gal for life, or someone out there is waiting to meet someone just like you! Never lose thought of that!
Smiles and best wishes to you my friend,
HM2
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As a middle-aged guy I can tell you that one of the first things to go is the plumbing
, combine that with a little blood pressure medicine and the beginnings of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and the ability to have good sex drops precipitously. The drugs they use to treat BPH can also cause erectile dysfunction 
. Add this to the STRESS of not being able to perform as you once did and it only gets worse. 
The little blue pill, relaxation, hot showers and soaking in a bath or hot tub, a (very) small amount of alcohol, visual, audio, olfactory and tactile sensations can really help
. If he can stand it, a little cannabis can go a long way in helping "to catch a nut". Timing is everything and full arousal while completly relaxed with no worries about performance will have great effectIt's damned embarrassing not being able to perform and the fear of not performing will keep a man in the showers.
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I REALLY appreciate that reply from a man. I do understand what you have said, that is EXACTLY why I came to this site and didn't talk more to him about it. I don't want him feeling inadequate. What I wish you guys could understand more is US LADIES! How could you feel inadequate is my hard misunderstanding. If my husband wasn't so dagone GREAT in bed, I wouldn't want the seconds, now would I? If he were just ok, once would be enough. In my mine he keeps me so sexually turned on and wanting more of what wonderful sex he just gave me, but as I see ... in his mind he is failing me.... All the sounds great, but I feel NO FAILURE from him what so ever.. make sense?
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The girlfriend emails me and wanted me to tell her what is on my mind. This is what I sent.
Thank you very much for "taking" care of me Sunday morning, and what a treat. That was very nice, loving of you, and great to say the least. When are you going to let me, and more importantly yourself focus on you, and tell me what you like? I know you like something you can tell me? I won't bite... well, not hard. Lets play.
You have to know what you like or experience in private first and show me. I'm a pretty fair learner :-)
I get the feeling that when you want to focus on me, you take the pressure off yourself to tell me what you like, or at least what you might like. And that is fine sometimes, but not all the time. Would you disagree with that? I love making love with you, and you'll never know how much.
Sex is not the most important part of our relationship and I don't want it to be, but we can't deny it is a two-way street and a part of any relationship where two people want to express their love for each other. Please don't cut us short of this beautiful experience in our relationship.
I love being with you. Your loved, wanted, and desired so much!
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Now Telecom?????? IF that DON'T WORK, run your little ass like hell, shit you have me melting.... gonna slide you home number to have you coach hubby on "speeches" LOL... JK...... let me know how that turns out
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So are there any tricks, positions that enhance or enable your partner to stimulate the g-spot better. I've found it on my own. Can't make the #&%%^* work. Something wrong with me?
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Sure glad you found it, I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND IT.. WHERE HOW?
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Wondering what a wife would really like for her anniversary?
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Ok well maybe I am too uh.... simple? What about a BIG FAT DIAMOND RING wrapped in a pretty Red bow that is tied around your hard thingy-ma-bob? Just me though!
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I wanted to post some thoughts on Restless leg syndrome to see if someone else had a similar experince.
My wife gets this quite a bit, espically if she has been sitting or a long time, like at work, or in the car for long trips. She usually gets it worst when we lay down to go to sleep. When she gets antsy and can't relax, I just whip out the old blue vibrator(which was one of my best purchases ever!) and give her an couple of orgasms and then we have sex and tadaa! She won't be experiencing any more restless leg for the remainder of the night.
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You will find this too simple to believe, and it certainly wont work for times she has to stay awake (ie... work)... but an old time doctor that doesn't believe in too many prescribed medications, told me to take a dose of benedryl 30 minutes before I went to bed. I bought the liquid and it HITS FASTER than the pills, but I get right to sleep and a great night sleep I might add. KEY IS... allow yourself AT LEAST 6-8 hours of sleep, if not you feel like POO the next morning as this is also an antihistamine as well as allergin blocker! Hope this helps, good luck!
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I'm just curiuos how long it takes other women to cum when their guy is going down on them. I feel like it takes me a long time, and I feel sorry for him. And that makes it even harder for me...
And another question, how can I get my guy to get me off everytime before we have sex. It is easier for me to get off during sex, if I did before. Suggestions?
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I certainly go too quick the first time, but when attempting multiple in shorter amounts of time, hubby sometimes inserts a finger in each hole. A finger in your opening of your pussy wiggling as Mikayla described, and one inside your ass will SURELY get your super aroused eh?
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She is my girlfriend, not wife. The problem really isn't that she doesn't want to have sex, as she will pretty much anytime. The problem is utter SILENCE during lovemaking and NEVER telling me what she likes either before, during, or after. I've lost count of the times I've discussed this with her about talking more. That is where the frustration sets in for me big time. This week I'm just going to ask her that if she really loves me as much as she says, she will work on this more or our realtionship is not going to work. She swears there has been no past pyhsical or sexual abuse. I do think the Prozac is a problem to, and I've suggested she go back to the doctor to get an alternative. My real feeling is that she is having sex just to keep me happy, even though she may not have the libido to really want to do it. If she isn't into it, we'll then I am NOT into it or happy, and I think that is normal. Thanks...
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Hey Telecom.. I am just going to get tacky here, and some times "tough love" or even "TOUGH ADVICE" might just be what you need right now, SOMETIMES TOUGH works, eh?
Listen up!!!!! If this BROAD is totally ok with ingesting Prozac, or any other medications to stablize her moods or depression, why on GODS GREEN EARTH would she NOT be ok to take some labido medications? Ya know men and women alike out here...... VIAGRA has a name for a reason. Do women not realize exactly HOW MANY DRUGS are out there to enhance a womans sex drive? I had a historectomy (spell check) less than a year ago, and my hormones are ALL out of wack. The dr. said after a year if it is not better, we will check into medications.
This is my poor advice, because obviously after reading all the thoughts on this site I am PLUM ignorant about a lot of things. However, my advice on this one is tell her that if being on mood enhancers is important to her and makes her feel better, you would like to take her to the dr. yourself and talk with the physician about the sexual enhancers out there. Ask her if she hates sex. If she does NOT hate sex, then she shouldn't have a problem with getting on something to help with your relationship. If SEX IS A CHORE TO HER like you feel, you have some deep seeded roots happening here doll! A woman that has sex JUST to keep her man, will eventually get resentful. She will feel like she gave you everything you wanted, but when she felt like she just wanted to snuggle you didn't allow her that. And even though you may offer her plenty of lovins outside of sex, women get moody and see things differently. I AM A WOMAN I KNOW!
Just one more thought. I HATE and I do mean HATE to be forced to do something I am not totally ok with. My hubby loves BJ's.... what man doesn't. I can't deep throat or I'll vomit, so I have to use my hand while giving the BJ. Let me get to the point. I am HAPPY and LOVE giving him BJ's if he stays off my back about it. But when we are having sex and he guides my head there, or in 69 position either him on top OR me on top, he RAMS that sucker in my mouth, and I HATE IT. It doesn't give me a chance to prepare for the "gag" effects, lol. With this, I am trying to apply it to you. Have a talk with her outside of the bedroom, and try not to be forceful in the sack. By listening to you, I can't picture you physically forcing her, but words dig at times. And if you have shared these thoughts with her as many times as you say you have, SHE KNOWS. It is not that it is not so important to her, SHE KNOWS but is having problems. As far as the communicating thingy-ma-bob? Have you tried coaching in a soft sensual sexual way? My hubby is kinkier than hell, however he NEVER was a talker in the bed until recently. I don't know if you have tried this, if so disregard, if not try it, it JUST MAY WORK! I will pull his head right to me and whisper SOFTLY making sure breath hits his ear and neck and ask him "that feel good honey?" "You like that baby" "is that the spot doll", along with the I Love You's.... When you give soft talk like that not expecting a big OMG THAT FEELS GREAT HONEY.... it is a simple yes or no or even mmm she might reply with. But let me urge you on this.... when she DOES mumble even a LITTLE bit of communication, thrust her more or eat faster or carress more or kiss more, SOMETHING that shows her what that has just done to her. DON'T make a big deal VERBALLY about what just happened, because VERBAL is her issue. Make it short and sweet to begin with. Let me share this one last thing. A year ago my hubby could only grunt out ohhhhh myyyyyyyy Goddddddddd, when he came. But after the slow talking method, he will say crazy shit like "fuck me now" or "honey did I ever tell you how good you tasted". I mean stuff that probably you guys are all familiar with, but it SHOCKS me to this day. During love making, he actually tells me softly while LOOKING AT ME IN THE EYE how much he loves me while slowly and softly making love to me. We have progressed, but it wasn't over night.
Hopefully my book has helped you telecom... I feel for you I really do. But you do need to keep in mind when you read these posts that you started this. People on here, or speaking just for myself, we see you as a sensative man that is eager to please his woman no matter how long it takes, but is concerned about her care. WE CAN'T HELP BUT BE ON YOUR SIDE!!!!!!! It is not that anyone is against HER, we are just replying to your posts, and feel.... feel.... TERRIBLE for your situation! Take the advice as care and run with it, don't get offended so easily and make excuses so quick for the woman that you are telling us is not giving into some of your emotional needs. It is not about us not liking her.. we just like YOU MORE.. haha... Take care telecom, and wonderful luck to you is my hope!
HM2
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What is it about porn that guys like so much? Is it a source of stimulation that your lady just isn't giving you anymore? Or is it just "a guy thing"?
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Are you watching them with him? If not, there is your problem. Is he afraid to share that with you? If so, ask yourself if he is worth it. If it is ok for him to watch alone, and not with you, then something else is going on. Is it a normal porn (men doing women) or women and women, there is a distinct difference on that.....
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this happens to my wife regardless of the method orgasm is achieved. Be it by digital stimulation, oral or using toys, she always says it is super sensitive.
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I hear crazy! No matter how the orgasm, I need to be left alone down there for a few minutes. And sometimes he starts playing again before "she" is ready, and it takes a moment for the "painfulness" to stop before it is even enjoyable. It doesn't hurt like a knife stabbing, more of a sore, convulsion (HAHAHAHA) type of pain. Have you tried waiting about 5 minutes? Typically that is when I am ready to get started.
In the meantime, I love hugs and kisses and fondelling, that sometimes gets me ready much quicker, especially if he is sucking and kissing on the back of my neck, I am ready for seconds in no time!
GOOD LUCK!
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Have you told him what you just wrote? Not in bed, but when you are alone, where the kids won't interrupt, and the two of you can talk about your sex life, and the rest of your relationship. You do talk to each other about sex, don't you? Ask him what his problem is having sex? Is he afraid of not staying hard? A lot of men live with an intense paranoia of going limp when they are making love. It puts such stress on them that it makes the event happen! But its all in his head. Is he in good physical shape? If he has put on 50 lbs that he doesn't need, it will affect his stamina in the sack. Same for the meds. Check with his doctor, or any pharmacist to get the low down on side effects of the drugs he is taking. Low back pain? Give him a massage as part of your foreplay. Does he not let you give him a Blow job after his first climax? If not, what is the difference in coming in your mouth or your vagina for the second or third orgasm? If he is giving you head, you certainly are giving him a blow job as part of foreplay or sex, or both, no? Take his cock in your hands, and don't let go. Get him hard and then play with him, his balls, his ass, whatever makes him lose control and have another orgasm. And, of course, always consider letting him take a short nap between bouts. You should be on top the second time, for sure, if he has chronic low back pain. There is only so much strain the back and back muscles can take, and then they sort of control how active you can be for the next 12 hours. Or, gain insertion and then roll on your sides, so that both of you can rest, and the movement involved is minimal. By the time you have had a couple orgasms, from foreplay and the initial intercourse, your nerve endings should be sensitive enough to not require the hard driving thrusting he may have done to get you to your first climax, No? Rocking your hips while on your side allow you to kiss, to play with your hands( tickle him to get him to stop taking it so seriously) , talk to each other about what your sex organs are feeling, etc. And, you can always roll on top, or pull him on top of you when you feel your climax nearing.
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Thank you Howard, the only think I guess I haven't put 100% into of what you said, is the talking part. I am afraid if I talk about it too much, he will become more paranoid. I guess he is a "differen't" type of man. He is more capable of cumming when he is control. He likes me on top for the first orgasm because that is how I cum the quickest, and he likes to cum together, however, he typically likes to be in control. That is my problem with him. If his head (the one resting on his neck) HAHA... would stop worrying so much, we might be ok. He GETS HARD.. NO PROBS! It is getting him to ATTEMPT sexual intercourse AFTER HE IS HARD that is a prob, he wont even attempt so that we CAN find a way that works. Hell I would be totally ok with 14 times him going limp, if we just found that ONE way that it worked. I don't always want a second time ya know, but it would be nice to have at least ONE option, for the times I did.... Well, again, thanks for the input, we might just have some talking tonight... thanks
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HM2,
That is quite a story and I'm sorry you've had to experience all of that. No woman deserves that! My 18 yr old daughter was raped by a so called guy friend when she was 16 yrs old. My family literally kept me from killing the guy. I would have been in jail now if it wasn't for them. That will haunt her for years, and it contributed to her drug addiction. Thank God she has been clean for four months now. I pray for her everyday.
You hit it right on the nail with this statement...
She keeps giving you the out, turning herself into the victim AGAIN. That is what VICTIMS do quite often, they blame themselves for everything, and since they couldn't fix it before, they feel no fixing now. Here is my thinking. If you express to you mate that you have a problem, and they suddenly revert it to "poor me, I never can be good enough for you",
That is EXACTLY what she says when she tries to tell me I'm to good for her and she has to work on her problems about sex or whatever. She will blame herself for everything and say "that's ok". I'll hold her and talk to her, but I don't think she is telling me all to get over the fence.
I need to ask her outright if she has ever been abused, because with some of the things she has said, it does hint of it a lot. She grew up Catholic and her mother hated sex with her father, and her mom would even tell her that. Her dad always put her down and still does to this day, and I know she would love to have that acceptance.
One things that does concern me. She will say a lot that I'm to good for her and doesn't know why I'm with her considering what she hasn't done in the bedroom. Most guys would not find her attractive (maybe a 4 on a 1-10), but I see more than that. Her self esteem is very low, and I'm sure that is part of the problem. As many women are, she is on the anti-depressant Prozac. Ive read some studies show that taking that drug makes it hard for some women to have an orgasm.
I have never even come near forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to do. I don't think she wants out, but she does realize the sex compatible thing is an issue.
I'm putting the effort, time, and patience into her because I love her and think she is worth it and eventually think she will change. Time may tell me.. I don't know.
As I said, I'm not expecting her to become this sex crazed woman, all I want is some guidance and feedback. Sex is not a one-way street.
How would I tell her that if she really does love me she will start to become more communcative during sex and after? I hate to tell her outright like that. I mean, to have her help guide me during, and tell me after what she liked or didn't. I've done my fair share of things sexually, so I know what most women like. Maybe I'm naive, but at 46 yrs old I hope not.
Thx All!
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Do you really want advise? I am not meaning that in a bad way, I promise! When you copy pasted the statement I made in the earlier (BOOK, haha) you copy pasted the biggest problem I had to overcome. Mikayla is EXACTLY right. I have issues as well, thus the reason for being on here, however, I have a very yummy sexual appetite NOW... NOW that I have gotten help and FINALLY understand that it WASN'T MY FAULT! I can tell you how I felt when trying to advance past the "fear of really knowing a man". I ran men off too! I was more of the type of woman though that did everything they wanted in bed, and then felt so ashamed afterward, which caused them to feel bad and run. It sounds like she isn't willing to attempt it. She HAS TO ATTEMPT some of the things that you are asking for, that is what mates do. Now if you are wanting to stick a cucumber up her ass, I am with her, NO WAY... HAHA (just a little joke to lighten it up). But honestly, in a relationship, my belief is this. EVERYTHING goes ONCE. If we BOTH LOVE it, then hey let's do it again, but if EITHER (not necessarily both) DON'T like it, we never do it again... OR we find a way that can improve the dislikes about it.
When I asked if you wanted advise, I more meant that most of your replies are "I am in this for the long run no matter what" and that is great of you. However, at some point, you are going to have to either get her professional help (that could take days all the way up to years) OR explain how you love her, but this just isn't a compatible relationship. I have only heard you talk about your 16 yo, God bless her, but do either of you have smaller children? Hubby is 39 and we have a 2 year old, so just asking? That is also something else more people need to take into consideration about a working relationship. Telecom, if you do not get some type of help (if she was abused) you will NEVER be able to fix this on your own. How many people in your family are growing to love her? How sad to have this HUGE issue, and it is HUGE when one is not sexually satisfied to the fullest (trust me I know), and to work on it for a year or years, just to find it never was able to work, then all these people are drug into the mess of a breakup. I only say that because my children from ex hubby, are so hurt and confused about people entering their lives all the time, and then leaving. Heck, my 19 year old step son stays more hurt and confused than any of them... Well, just things to think about.
That PROZAC can be a nightmare, why is she on THAT of all things! Do you know how many antidepresants are out there that work great???? And a LOT of them have little or NO sexual side effects! She of course would have to be taken off prozac slowly if she's been on it for a while, but Well Butrin works great, you have great energy with it. The down of that is insomnia, hubby liked that though because we found a good way to use that time I couldn't sleep (wink). Also there is Paxil, or the one I am on currently is wonderful (takes about a month though for full effects) Lexapro.... just some thoughts. That medicine may be hindering a LOT of what she is emotionally capable of right now, switch them up and see?
Well, at some point I will be able to get shorter to the point, sorry to talk your ear off....
HM2
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If he went soft in you, its probably because he is physically tired. Was he on top both times? It takes a lot of strength to hold yourself above a woman on her back, and then move your hips back and forth to push your cock into her vagina and pull it out again. With that physical exertion, and the release of tension in the body when one climaxes, it should not surprise anyone that he is tired. Maybe when he was 18 he go for hours, but not in his thirties. Give him a break. For the second course, why not you be on top. It give him a chance to rest, It gives you full control, and the only muscle he has to work is the one holding his erection. YOu have all the fun of being in control, and he gets to watch and play with you while you do the work. If he still gets soft, let him take a nap, for say, a half an hour. That will be enough for him to restore his vitality, and be ready for round two. Don't put pressure on either of you to perform. This is suppose to adult play. Don't make it work. If he still can't get it up, he should be checked out by a urologist and a heart specialist to see if there is anything organic that may be causing him to fail. If not, you can try using the cock rings to keep him hard during the second course.
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Ok Howare, that all sounded good if that is what I meant. I guess I said it wrong. He can get it up for the second time, but he will not attempt to TRY again. He went limp ONE TIME, and many factors were in that. I caught him right as he was leaving for work (the pressure of being late) he had just taken his medication (pain killers for his back problems) and the kids were due to get up. So I understood those pressures, and even though he felt bad, I felt bad for HIM, but not that we didn't do it, I understood.
NOW, I will get him physically aroused, but mentally he is not there. It is almost like "I got mine, I gave you yours, isn't that enough?". Sometimes it just isn't. I have tried putting in a movie about an hour after we did, and as mikayla said, I tried playing with myself, and although that turns him on, it only turns him on to the point that he knows I need more, so he just pleases me by oral. How do I get him ready for actual penetration, MENTALLY? I must have been unclear about the physical, because I don't have that problem of getting him physically ready, JUST MENTAL. And even though he is ALWAYS so good to please me orally (he will do that all night if I need it) It hurts that I am not sexual enough to get the whole thing again, like he has no desire to please me that way. I can get myself off 50 times a day, I don't need him for that, but I do need him male companionship for my other needs, how do I get him excited again?
HM2
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Hi all. I have been married for 7 years and my husband has seemed to lost interest in me. He has to travel alot for his job and you would think when he comes home he would want me but he wants to watch movies and take care of himself pretty much what should i do.
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Coming from a housewife that fears the unknown.... I WOULD...... find out where he will be staying the next time he goes out, and meet him there. Go during the day while he is gone, get yourself some magazines or good books to read, sit your little ass outside his hotel or apartment room, and wait for him to get back. If he comes back within an hour of the end of his work shift, then he is probably ok. (gives him time to grab dinner). However, if he comes in HOURS LATER.. question the hell out of him. The bottom line is this. You can't prove just by one visit if he is screwing around, but you will keep his mind wondering if you are going to bust him or not... sometimes men NEED to know you care enough to find out.
Also, if it is the weight thing, you better get yourselves some serious help! Unless you are like model material, and one of these lucky ladies that gets your figure back to a tee... you will have stretchmarks, kangaroo pouch and other identying factors that show you have had children. Whoever on her said he was shallow if this is his problem, WAS RIGHT!. How would he feel if he came home from a run, and had gained 20 lbs from fast food eating, and you lost your interest? How fake, and how materialistic to form a relationship on looks. Maybe in the dating process, but surely not in the married and making a family process! GOOD LUCK......
HM2
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I asked her some questions about what I'm doing wrong or right and here is her reply. Remember, she isn't saying anything during sex or after, so how do I know? All I asked her was to give me some guidance about what she is enjoying during sex.
What brought this on? I'm really confused. I thought we had some pretty good sex recently but I guess I was wrong. I don't think you are doing anything wrong but you keep feeling that way - which makes me sad. I don't know how I'm being shy since I think I'm very open to you. I have come a long way, honestly I have. But for some reason I make you feel bad.
I don't know what else to do. Maybe we're really not compatible. Mike, think about this long and hard, maybe I'm not what you want. I'm not kidding, joking, etc. Think about what you really want and deserve from life. I will respect your answer, no matter what it is.
What do you think?
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Ok, isn't THIS a HOOT... Someone (ME) who has been on here asking and asking and asking for help myself, suddenly identifies with some of what you are saying. I have several thoughts here, bare with me. I am a victim of molestation and Rape, although this may be long... take time to read please, you might find help here (hopefully)
First.... It does appear since she has brought up her "up bringing" that it could be one of two things. I am not in her mind, so this is not carved in stone, just my thought. The first thing is this. Was she brought up in a spiritual family? The only reason I say that is that I was, and having sex before "committing in marriage" always left me with a guilty feeling. I didn't stop doing it (with my now hubby) but afterword I was always left with guilt. And always left NOT being able to share my wonderful man with my family of which I am so very close to. Second is... it sure does sound to me like she was sexually abused. Either by her father, or someone in her family that possibly her father or other family members convinced her to "hush" about. This is a BIG ONE. Let me share with you that I was also molested (RAPED) as a child, for many years. I didn't share it with anyone until YEARS LATER, and that is my now hubby. It is EXTREMELY hard to gain trust from a man even years later after that happens. I was not in a 20 year marriage like your woman, but I was also in a 4 year relationship with an abusive boyfriend. One who beat me into miscarriages, or beat me when a man looked at me, or just when he had a bad day. He screwed my best friends, and later told me about it. I thought I loved him so much and that I deserved no better, until that last beating when I was almost dead. Now LISTEN UP TO THIS PART!!!!!!!
I was in miserable shape when I met now hubby. I was going through divorce from hubby of 8 years, and dating on top of it. My now hubby and I drank a LOT, both of us drowning our sorrows! HOWEVER, drinking does bring down your "wall" somewhat. We played 20 questions a lot, and the more drunk I was, the more I shared with him. Sometimes the next day I could have killed myself (either because MY HEAD WAS KILLING ME FROM THE HEADACHE or that I have shared SO MANY INTIMATE DETAILS WITH A BOYFRIEND) BUt...... HE NEVER BROUGHT any of those personal issues up unless... UNLESS I STARTED it up again giving him the OK to talk more about it. Some people are lucky enough to talk without influence, some of us need a little encouragemnt. Let me share this with you, and you may not understand it. Like I have shared MANY times, I have been married almost 4 years to my man. It wasn't until LAST YEAR that I shared some intimate details of my rape and molesting relative. You know what the major problem is with being raped or molested? You know why they call it that, and they don't call it that when husband and wife, or girlfriend and boyfriend do "it"? IT IS BECAUSE if BOTH parties are NOT consentual, then it is rape or molestation. Your girlfriend, if being either of those, probably can't get past the "I DIDN"T WANT IT THEN< AND I CAN"T GET TO WANTING IT NOW" routine. Let her know, that when she says NO, it means NO. If you are trying a new position, and she says "what are you doing", softly explain your new method and ask her if "it is ok". Assure her that if she ever says to you, "NO, or I'D rather you NOT do that", then stop immediately. Let her KNOW she is in control of what happens. I recently started having urges of hubby coming in and just throwing me on the bed and pounding the shit out of me, holding my hands down and just going at it. You know why? Because we talked about it. We have ONE key sentence, and If I say that, it means STOP NOW I can't do this. Our key sentence is "Oh this wont work". So if I say stop, get up, get off, quit, your hurting me... all of that is sex talk (building on his masculine sexual turn on of having a woman his way), but it doesn't mean STOP! And I ENJOY IT, because all in all, and in the long run, I KNOW I am in control of my mind, pain or uncomfortable statue. I have one more thought.....
Have you even ATTEMPTED to have her on this site to see what other women say? Maybe she could ask other women about her inhabitions in private? I can tell you this. Therapist, counselors.. ALL THOSE HIGH PAID PEOPLE never helped me as much as my husband has, or EVEN SOME OF YOU here on this site. They want you to relive it to get past it. My theory is this. The past is the past. It will only follow you if you let it. She has to understand that you are quite obviously wanting this to work, but I don't care what ANYONE SAYS.... You can ALL FIGHT ME ON THIS.... SEX IS A HUGE PART OF A RELATIONSHIP..... for both men and women. Some of us just enjoy it more. I will say this to you. I agree stronly with some of the others statements. You can't solve all the worlds problems. Do you know how many women out there would LOVE TO HAVE A MAN LIKE YOU? Only SHE can fix her problems, quit trying to fix her. If she has given you the out by saying you are not compatible, you know what that tells me? She would be just as clear if she were saying to you "honey I appreciate all that you've said. I love how you think about my feelings, and want to get more into this, however as much as I love you too, I am not willing to work on something that is very important to you". She keeps giving you the out, turning herself into the victim AGAIN. That is what VICTIMS do quite often, they blame themselves for everything, and since they couldn't fix it before, they feel no fixing now. Here is my thinking. If you express to you mate that you have a problem, and they suddenly revert it to "poor me, I never can be good enough for you", then RUN. That, in essence, means they don't care enough about YOU to try to make YOU totally happy. Why are you putting all this effort into a woman who is going to totally dictate how your bedroom activities go? And for the record..... YOU ARE NOT A PERVERT>>>>>>>>>>> Just a man who loves sex... I am with you!
GOOD LUCK TO YOU..... hope your total happiness comes SOON, whether WITH HER or WITHOUT HER! You deserve happiness....
HM2
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That is correct, one nut at a time..till the whole base of his cock and penis are through the ring. As he gets hard, the ring will get tight and kep the blood in the penis and keep it from flowing out. Make sure the ring is not too tight, watch for hairs...always keep something to cut it off with nearby.
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Ok, that helps a lot.. will try that tonight! I do have one more question though, lol. If the object is to keep the blood flow from "flowing" then how do you know enough is enough to get the sucker off there? Only when his pecker goes numb? Or other signs? Do men even feel it at this point, I would want him to enjoy it as well.
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man i just love to stoke that nice cock im straight and wanna fuck a guy so bad wanna suck him and everything .<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok OK this site has brought new meaning in all areas, but I do have to say... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MEN???? Do you have such a problem with being labled BISEXUAL? JEEZ! In my opinion, it is ONE THING to enjoy anal activity with your mate. If you are a he and your mate is a SHE, anal activity does NOT just mean you are bi or have bi tendencies. HOWEVER, you keep claiming, the lot of you, that you are not Gay. YOU ALL KEEP SAYING< I AM NOT GAY BUT I WANT TO FUCK A GUY SO BAD........ well I hate to tell you this, but if you want to fuck a GUY, suck a GUY, finger a GUY, beat a GUY off, suck a GUYS cum, and you are male, if you attempt it and enjoy it, you might as well call yourself bisexual or GAY. If you are just thinking it is hot and sexy but would NEVER do it, but you DO get turned on thinking about a hard cock, you are more than likely straight with bi tendancies. Here are my thoughts. If you enjoy it or think you would, what exactly is so wrong with being labled bi? That is a society thing. Just as someone made the word "shit" mean poo and be a cuss word, someone labled these thoughts and tendancies as Bi. I think we would all be suprised at exactly how many men have these thoughts and get extremely turned on, they just feel immediate rejection about them. Perhaps the way we were raised? Religion? None the less, you are who you are, call yourselves what you want, but it sounds silly to me to start a paragraph off with " I AM STRAIGHT< BUT I WANT TO FUCK A MAN AND SUCK HIS DICK". But again, JUST one gal's opinion!
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Cock rings go on before you get hard, put it around the ball sack as well, usually one side at a time so the whole base of the cock is enclosed. If the hair gets caught in it you may have to consider shaving. Then when the cock gets hard the pressure from the ring will restrict the blood flow and make the erection last longer!
There are different sizes and different styles. I do not suggest the ones that look like a lasso, I hear from my man that they pinch....get a pack that has 3 sizes in it and try to find the one that offers the most comfortable fit. Also, remember not to leave it on if it hurts or if the penis gets too numb..
Hope that is helpful.
Mikayla
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Ok, very helpful, but still confused. He puts it around his nuts and ALSO the base of his penis?? So put it on his penis, and then put one nut in at a time until the base and sack are in the ring? I know, I know, you probably think I have a virgin mind, and I guess I do to a certain extent... grrrrrr.... thanks for your help.
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Ok peeps! You people have GREAT IDEAS.. I just can't log off I am so curious as to your help!
How do I get him hard after the first orgasm? I always want more, but he says he can't get it up again. I have gotten him hard again a couple of times, but he wont have sex. I talked to him about it the other night and he said he doesn't want to "fail" me if it goes limp. We tried to have sex one time in the morning, and it went limp while he was inside, he felt horrible! Then I felt bad for him. He said he didn't feel manly when he couldn't keep it up! I thought about putting a porn in the second time to get him aroused but if we are uncomfortable with that (the kids having sleep overs not knowing if they are all staying in their rooms, or if we are away from home and can't put one in), what to do then? Man, I am almost 32 and you would think I knew not ONE thing about sex. I feel so stupid, and certainly not much of a woman that I don't know what works well for my man. Any help out here?
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I am glad this topic came up. My hubby is not young, and he can't last long at all! We continually have to stop. Any other suggestions for us "older" couples? I do have a question, do those cock rings help? We got some, but WHERE IN THE HELL DO YOU PUT THEM? Around the sack? Around the base of the pecker? Around the head? Put it on while he is limp, hard? What what what....we couldn't figure out a way that didn't look extremely painful, do any of you know?
, combine that with a little blood pressure medicine and the beginnings of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and the ability to have good sex drops precipitously. The drugs they use to treat BPH can also cause erectile dysfunction 
. Add this to the STRESS of not being able to perform as you once did and it only gets worse. 
. If he can stand it, a little cannabis can go a long way in helping "to catch a nut". Timing is everything and full arousal while completly relaxed with no worries about performance will have great effect
man i just love to stoke that nice cock im straight and wanna fuck a guy so bad wanna suck him and everything .
Married But Need Help
in Beginners, post your questions here
Posted
Thank you Tor and Crazy. That was one of my first posts, and I have learned a lot from "friends" on here since then. I have explained to some in personal emails that I may have not explained myself well in the beginning. When I said we will try almost anything once, I meant that.
We have experienced:The normal sexual positions
i.e. missionary, doggy, me on top, him behind, sitting facing one another, facing one another but lying on our backs rocking, me on top but back facing him... me facing his feet, anal from him behind..on top and then me on top..., double penetration (doggy while he is pumping, his finger(s) in my hole and thumb on my clit.... he has sat on my face, I have sat on his until orgasm....
Also experienced sex with: Porno's- reg ones (men and women) lesbian ones and gay ones. We actually prefer the lesbian (more for him but still turn on for me) and then the men on men (gay) and that is more for me, but he gets hard being involved. For whatever reason, he gets hard. He says it is totally my reaction, and I could say that about the lesbian. I think I am being more honest, I am unafraid to speak my mind.
threesome with another woman (he and I both involved)
another woman (just myself)
dildo's (on both him anally and myself vaginally or anally)
Strap-on (me on him from all positions---he LOVED THAT)
we have tied eachother down and to the bed, that was great.
He masterbates for me, and likewise.
I have had him lay on the bed "pumping" the bed or pillow while I watch, this is just to watch his movement.
GAMES ? We play strip poker, 20 questions, role playing (typically him being the guy that breaks in throwing me to the bed and having his way) Truth or Dare, we have dice that order us what to do, and I guess others that I am forgetting...
PLACES? We have had sex outside in the front yard, in the back yard, in the back of his truck, IN THE TRUCK, at our parents house (that sounds silly but as an adult and parents who think sex is hush hush, it was rather exciting, ha ha). In the pool, on a swing, in the park, in a living room floor while a party was going on throughout the house, in the tub and shower, on the table, on the washer and dryer, hotels, elevators.....
The only reason I share all this, is that this is part of where I am coming from. I feel like there is nothing left to try, just because my imagination has had its feel, ya know? I know there has to be more out there, but WHAT... haha. That is why I read these posts daily and seek advice. That is why I asked if you just get to a point where that is it. Sometimes I feel like we did it all so quick, what next? I HATE REPETITION!!!!!![/ COLOR]
I would rather not have sex at all, if it is going to be just like last nights, does that make sence? 
I also miss the softness of sex. I think we have been so kinky at times, and had MUCH ROUGH sex, that I seldom ever get just the kissing, fondelling, caressing, sucking licking and I Love You's anymore. It seems to be hard core fucking! Don't get me wrong, I love that, but I am a woman and I love to be treated like one. 
I don't know. Maybe it'll all work out. Although I have had great feed back on here, still no solutions. Maybe no one understood exactly what we have attmepted and tried and people think I am nuts because there is so much out there to do. I just feel like we have been there done that.... WHAT ELSE???? Maybe I am a sex freak, I dunno... just feel the repetition and I hate that.. anymore feed back guys and gals?
HM2