candyblueyork

I am having this problem with my husband and it's driving me crazy. Has anyone ever got over this? What did you do? How did you learn to control yourself? If you cum too quick the first time how long should you wait before trying for a second erection? Also are there any other women out there dealing with this, how do you feel? Let me know your stories, experiences or advice on this subject because at the moment I feel so alone.

I think we are going to have to go back to basics and start again. We have tried doing it a second time after he has cum tooquickly in the past but it's never hard enough. He feels under a lot of pressure, maybe it is hard enough in most girl's book because they have clitoral orgasms whereas I only have vaginal ones (so far) and for that it needs to be hard. Sometimes I am not really bothering about an orgasm I just want a long hard fuck which happens only if he is drunk. I do have a lot of things on my mind that I can't say to him for some reason, like I get dissapointed when he doesn't buy me sexy underwear at Christmas or birthdays, etc.. All I want is a good sex life and I am going to take your advice about masterbation being imperative (I thought the choice of words was really funny by the way) and I am goingto start doing that as soon as possible. At least if I am able to do that myself I won't rely on him so much. I had a go in the bath last night for all of 2 minutes but I just felt daft not sexy and I stopped maybe there's something wrong with me.

Well nothing happened last night (again). It just feels so awkward to initiate anything in bed - how can this be after 14 years together? He was on the internet last night looking up honeymoon suites with jacuzzi's so he does want me but it just goes wrong or doesn't happen, maybe a night away from kids would be a good idea. I also ordered a few sex toys including cock rings so we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for the advice. I just don't know where I have went wrong with regard to masturbation. I know that because I don't know myself that is why I don't have a clitoral orgasm, if I could get one of those it would take a lot of pressure off my husband. I lost my virginity at 15 and have slept with a lot of guys when I was younger so maybe I just didn't bother or didn't have time. I wish I could get "into" it but I never feel like that and also have a hang up about my stomach. I am of average size but after 2 cessarian sections with the kids I have this flap of skin hanging and I HATE it. My dream is one day to have enough cash to get a tummy tuck, then I will feel better about myself. I know I am lucky to have a vaginal orgasm and I can tell you it is just ... well I can't even describe how good, but I just wish I could have a clitoral one. My hb and me do a lot of foreplay and stuff before penetration and everything is great up until then, I have absolutely no complaints on that score apart from, the fact that I am clamming up all the time now because of the fear it's all going to go wrong. I was thinking of trying a cock ring so I am going to get some of those as well. You may ask yourself, why has she stuck around so long when it has been bad from the start? Well in those days we were too busy partying with our mates and going out and it was never the be all and end all of our relationship. Nowadays we have 2 young kids who go to bed by 9pm and we are stuck in with nothing to do at night and it would be nice to have that to look forward to instead of nothingness. Although I say I clam up and put sex to the back of my mind, I do still get horny, like the other night I was lying next to him and I wanted him but then instead of just touching him or kissing him I was weighing up the pros and cons and then i just thought forget it it's not worth the hassle. I hope we can work this out it would be a shame to break up a happy family because of a sex problem - and selfish of me.

Ok, I've been married for over 10 years, 2 young kids. Everyone thinks we have the perfect marriage but they don't know the truth and we can't talk to anyone about it. Apart from our sex life we do have a great marriage in as much as I love him and I know he loves me and we both love the kids, we want to be together and we want this family life, we want to give the kids a nice upbringing. We like spending time together, going out to a few pubs or sitting in with kids, taking them to cinema, out for lunch, etc.. We hardly ever argue and seem to be able to put up with each other from day to day. The sad truth is that our sex life is terrible and has been almost since the start of our relationship 14 years ago. The problem is premature ejaculation and it's driving us apart. Whenever we have sex which is rare, maybe once per month (and that's only out of desperation) I always end up crying with the dissappointment either openly or under the sheets or in the bathroom without him knowing. I truly feel like crying just writing this down. In the early days I used to get angry with him and go in a huff but now I just feel so helpless. We both avoid sex now because anytime we do it it drives us further apart. We tried the squeeze method and the stop start method but nothing seems to work, we tried herbal tablets, spray, viagra - you name it we've tried it. He went to the doctor who told him it was a psycho sexual problem and reffered him to a councellor who he is going to see next week and we are pinning all our hopes on this but the atmosphere between us and the tension in the air is so bad. I said a few things a couple of years ago which hurt him like "lets have an open relationship" I know this is bad but I really meant it at the time I was just desperate for sexual contact. Whenever we do it he has to stop after about 2 minutes just as I am beginning to enjoy it, how can i enjoy it when he has to stop every 2 minutes? To make matters worse I can only cum vaginaly, I have never had a clittoral orgasm and I don't masturbate, I don't know why this is I just never have, I don't ever feel like that, I need a man. So now whenever he makes sexual advances to me I just clam up and refuse to be turned on because I know that as soon as I start to enjoy it, he will want to stop and I will get upset and it just goes from there. I also feel very selfish for wanting more sexually, at the end of the day if he can't give me it I should stick by him, like if he was paralised from the neck down or developed some sort or disease, I would'nt walk away then so why walk away now. I'm only 32 and the next 30 years seem a very long time. Please help.