[How Do You Orgasm?]

No, not pathetic! Listen Carrie - you obviously have a stigma about your orgasm dilemma - I can tell between this post and the other post. At least you are having an orgasm! Why do you consider it to be a disappointing orgasm? Does it not feel intense? Is it because you are not "loud?" You don't have to make a loud noise to have a fabu orgasm!

So, lets delve into this dilemma and find out why you don't like your orgasms and get you on the road to a better one!

Mikayla

OK-I am not one to scream or make a lot of noise, but I do whimper and when it gets really good, I beg..don't stop.ohh god,,don't stop,son't stop...etc, but only once over the years have I ever had a fit of laughter. Why that time, I really don't know, and it embarrassed me, made the guy mad because he thought I was laughing at him, and the harder I tried to stop laughing, the more I laughed until I was trying to hold my breathe to get the laughter to stop. Needless to say, he didn't understand and refused to speak to me afterward. I know I was being mean later, but I really didn't understand at the time either why I had laughed so hard, but it became a joke between me and some of my gf's.

We would see him at the club and then just break out into fits of laughter. The sex was good and I got off and enjoyed it, it was just the fit of giggles afterward...he didn't appreciate it

[How Do I Overcome My Reservations For Giving Head?]

TY - my hubby loves all of the above I am sure your SO benefits a lot from YOUR enthusiasm - enthusiasm makes everything so much better . Keep having fun!

At least i am not the only one with reservations, I too have difficulty with bj's. I do not like the taste of cum and I have tried several times. As far as size goes, so far I haven't had a gag reflex to that, and with some guys I have been with, I just could not do it. I could not give my hubby one whether he was freshout of the shower, in the shower, just couldn't. Made my stomach just turn. The guy I am friends with now with benefits and no strings, I can give him a bj, no prob, but I still can't get past the nut in my mouth. The last time we did anything, he put his fingers in my mouth with nut on it, and I just shivered, he isn't pushing it, but I know it will take time, patience, and practice. Plus he doesn't smoke or eat alot of salt so I think that helps a lot.

[Can Every Girl Take A Huge Penis...?]

well, you have to remember, that the average woman can "house" a 19-22 inch baby in her abdominal area as well as push that head OUT. I suffered 4 breaks in my pelvis due to a car accident. I was told I would have to deliver by C-section if I got pregnant. Well, I did get pregnant and asked my OB/GYN about having to have a C-section. I was surprised when his fingers disappeared including his thumb and he told me my pelvis was just fine so that alone told me I could handle just about any length and girth of a man's cock. I would take a 6.5 inch THICK man over a long cock any day!!

Well, I know my limits as far as dicks go as well, doesn't mean I don't push em every so often, no more than a 7 inch can I handle and that is barely. As far as babies go, my boys were 8lbs7.3 oz, 9lbs2oz, and the last one 10 lbs and 223/4 long. But I have been with guys that I just could not handle and it hurt so much afterward, I had to leave work once with "stomach cramps", lol, was NOT going to tell my supervisor I had gotten a hold of a dick I couldn't handle But as far as the "survey" goes, it is supposed to be a joke about men and their wonderful different sizes and our reactions to them.

[Masterbation Story]

Hello coeur, Say gal is your sisters name d'Alene? I've got kin just down the road from Blanchard. Seriously. Ever get to Tonasket for the Harvest Faire? Should be a shinin' time.....did an EXCELLENT RENDEZVOUS just outside of Clark Fork in '90 or '91...yeah I luv that state. Never ran into a soul that wasn't nice and helpfull if needed. There's more to life than sex.....yeah ok-you want a piece of me? well get in line over there Slim. I still say THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN SEX!!!

My boss asked me one day if I had ever let anyone watch me masterbate. No, I really hadn't other than playing with my clit during sex, but to just have someone sit and watch, no. So he asked if I would do it and let him watch. Ohh, I did, and it was such a turn on, even though I was a bit uncomfortable at first having someone up close and watching every move, and when I came.......he asked if he could taste, and he sucked every bit. My kitty hummed all day

[Can Every Girl Take A Huge Penis...?]

I'm just under 5' and weigh 90 pounds (I actually lost a few pounds over the holidays!) and I can take my hubby's entire fist, beyond his wrist. Sure it took time, practice, and determination, but the orgasms I get from it are well worth it.

So, can a small girl take a huge penis? Until they start making them bigger than hubby's hand, I'd say absolutely!

Solla

According to recent survey taken by women on what women say about men's dicks.......9in=pain, 7in=heaven, 6in=pleasure, 5in=ummm....ok, 4in=push harder, 3in=Is it in??, 2in=fuckit, use your fingers Please remember guys that this was only a joke, and it all depends on your woman and what she likes

[Multiple Sex Partners]

I am sorry about these experiences you have had to deal with. Finding people you can trust is always difficult. You may need to see a counselor to deal with all this. Its an expense you must afford. If you can't most states have local mental health programs that use a sliding scale for fees based on your income. Check around, and find out what is available to you. But, please get some help.

I made some suggestions on how you can change the way you are now. I can't MAKE you change. If you don't want to change, then there is nothing anyone can do to help you. As Dr. Phil says so frequently to people, " How is that working for you? " IF doing nothing is not making you happier, then maybe you need to do SOMETHING else. But, it is your life, and your decision. When you decide you want to change, please let us know. I wish I could waive a majic wand over your email and everything will be better for you, but it doesn't work that way for any of us. Get rid of this abusive husband, whether he is convicted of the crimes he is charged with or not. You don't need him in your life. No one likes to contemplate a divorce, but it is the best solution in many cases like yours. Get it done.

Then go out and meet people who share you interests and passions. If you don't have hobbies, why not? Park Districts, churchs, and private clubs sponsor classes and programs on all kinds of things. Certainly something you have seen or heard about strikes your interest. Pursue them. If you find something you like to do, and are good at, it will lead you to meet people of similar interests, and you will find people you can learn to trust because of that one fact alone. Pursue several interests and you will make lots of friends and find more people to trust. Along the way, you will learn how to separate those people you can trust, and those you can't and find your own tests to use to tell the difference.

Then you will be ready to start dating again, if you want to do so. And you will date on your own terms, and say " NO" to anyone who crosses your lines. Eventually, you will meet some man who respects you, and loves you, and you will respect and love, and want to change your sexual behaviors in order to pleasure him. Sex is adult play, and it requires two people who love and respect each other, and want to enjoy sex as a special intimacy, and not just a way to gain a biological release. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, but making love can be so much more than just that. It sounds like you married a guy who doesn't understand that simple fact, and, you may not fully understand that either. We all have to teach and train our lovers how to pleasure us, and we have to be willing and interested in learning how to pleasure them in return. The education is part of the fun, or should be. Men should never think that love making involves only cuming once for themselves, and women should demand and expect men to stay around for a second erection, and more love making while that occurs, and afterwards, of course. Women should expect to enjoy foreplay and orgasms from manual and oral sex, just as men enjoy such orgasms. And, all this should occur before intercourse takes place, when the parties want to spend the time really making love. If time is a factor, then a " Quickie" is called for, but one of the true secrets about sex is that " Quickies" are so much better after a couple learns how to really make love together.

If you try the things I told you about above, you will learn that oral sex is sex you control, and not something done to violate you. You are on top, you are holding the jewels, you are giving the pleasure with your lips, throat and tongue, hands, and fingers, and you can decide when or if the man orgasms or not, and when it happens. You decide if you want him to cum in your mouth, or your throat, or in your hand, etc. But, foremost is the fact that with oral sex on men, YOU DECIDE! You are no longer a victim.

So, decide if and when you want to change, and then do something about it. We will be here to help answer questions. Best of luck to you.

Well, I am already working on step 1 off the situation. I have a restraining order and after it is in effect for 4 months, legal aid will grant me a divorce uncontested. And I got evrything and he cannot contest. as for the rest, in due time.

[A Supposed Dirty Thing]

You should be having regular- like once a month, or at very least once a year- discussion sessions with your husband about sex. What he does you like, what you do he likes, frequency, positions, oral, manual, vaginal, and anal intercourse should all be topics that you are free to discuss. These should take place with your clothes on, and away from the bedroom, or any other place you commonly use to make love. There have to be ground rules for these talk. This is a fact finding event, and there is no place for rejection, approbation, ridicule, outrage, condemnation, etc. Each agrees to listen. By now, you have figured out that people's interests in sex change as they mature, and get more experience with each other. There is a natural desire to try new things with someone you love and are comfortable with as a lover. What those " New Things " are depends on where the two of you are, and have been. Read books, watch porn, as you have, get ideas from TV shows, etc. Take a trip together to an adult book store, and check out the sex toys. Talk to each other about adding toys to your love making. Look at the catelog here with your husband, and check out the goodies. If either of you don't know what something is, or how it is used, ASK! Someone here will either know, or find out for you.

The more you learn to talk to each other about sex, the more fun it will be, and both of you will get past the embarrassment you now feel about talking about these things. We all have to get over this problem. You are not the first or last person who finds it difficult to talk to your spouse about sex, and trying new things, or positions. Before my wife and I became lovers, I insisted that we sit down and talk about sex, and be willing to answer any question asked by the other. Nothing was off limits. We met over lunch in a restaurant where we found a booth that was away from most of the other patrons, and gave us some privacy. We alternated questions and answers. It was the most erotic "lunch" she ever had with her clothes on, she claimed months later.

To answer your direct question, you have the advantage because you did try anal sex many years ago. Ask him if he remembers that incident, and what he thinks about that kind of sex. Then tell him that you have been reading some stuff on line that indicates you both probably felt uncomfortable because you didn't really know what you were doing. Ask him if he would like to try having anal sex with you again? ( Like you can't guess the answer to that question?) Then ask him to watch the porn movies you have seen that inspired you to try this again. Or, if you don't want him to know that just yet, why not order the BetterSex.com video on Anal sex, or one of the two videos by Nina Hartley on the subject. It will be both instructive, and a turn on, and should be a natural lead-in to another attempt. To reduce or eliminate the chance at being hurt when he puts his cock into you, I have to suggest that you buy a couple of butt plugs, or vibrators, starting with a small size, and then medium one, and use them to open your anus up to the idea of penetration. It takes time for the rectum to stretch the skins there to accomodate an erect cock, and you can help matters along if you use the butt plugs to slowly open you up over an hour or so before engaging in anal sex with him. After you have learned to accomodate his size by having anal sex several times, you may not need to use the butt plugs or vibrators to loosen up again. But, always take it slow, and use more lube than you think is necessary.

As for the mess, that is a fact of life. Have him wear a condom, to make it easier to clean his cock off when you finish. Keep a wet cloth or towel on the bedstand to use to clean you up when you are done. Even if you douche before having anal sex, there is always the possibility that some fecal materials will work its way down and onto his cock, and out your anus when he withdraws. Some tissue, and a hot wet cloth can take care of the problem and feel very good on your anus. Those insulated containers that motels provide for holding ice in your room can also be used, obviously without the ice cubes, to keep hot wash cloths HOT, until you need them. I even know one couple who bought an old thermos bottle at a garage sale and use that to keep a hot towel hot by the bed to use to clean up each other. It goes into the washing machine over night, with anti-bacterial soap, and its done in the morning! Most of all, Have Fun. One or both of you should have your hands on your clit while he is in your ass, making you very happy, and giving you very intense orgasms. When you finally learn to relax your PC muscles during anal sex, you will be able to climax from that alone. But it is also fun to use a vibrator of dildoe in your pussy for that extra full feeling. He will be able to feel the vibrator through the wall of tissue between your vagina and your rectum, so don't think you are being selfish by using a vibrator. He will love you for it!

I have always enjoyed the foreplay and rimming that comes with anal sex, but the actual penetration has always been so painful. And I bleed afterward. Alot. I did go and have it checked, and had to have a colonoscopy, and no, I did not tell the doctor that having anal sex started the bleeding, but I did find out that I have internal polyps (similar to a hemmroid). I would definitely advise anyone who has pain when trying that, to stop, and if there is bleeding, and you know when it is bleeding from inside or just from being stretched, to get it checked. One of the issues I had with my husband was that he loves to have anal sex regardless of it hurt me or not. And if he had to use force to get it, then he did. Anal sex should never hurt, and should never, never be forced. It is defenitely something one has to be relaxed but excited for, and very well lubricated.

[Multiple Sex Partners]

I think you are really asking two questions here. One is how to overcome your fear of giving head to a man, and the second is how do you get the courage to try a 3-some. How do you summon up your courage to try anything new? If you can answer that, you have the answer.

3-somes are difficult at best. I have not had the experience, but have talked to several people who have. The ones who claimed to have had a successful encounter had been lovers with both other parties as individuals before putting all three people together. IF you are not into lesbian sex, it is not going to work. If you are not into heterosexual sex, it is not going to work( with the man and women you mention.)

Now, as to oral sex, you are probably making more of this mentally than any physical problem that may exist. My wife was trained to give oral sex by her roommate coaching her with a banana. She taught her how to lift her head back to open her throat, and then use the banana, with the skin on, to train her throat, and overcome the gag reflex. It took several weeks of practice, with much laughter and encouragement from her Arlene, but she soon learned how to such a cock, and to do " Deep Throat ". Only then did she learn that very few men can even dream of having a penis the size of a banana! taking a cock down her throat was easy by comparison, and she enjoyed the power she felt doing this to men. She liked to take them all the way down her throat, and then stick her tongue out and lick their balls. The first time she did that to me, it was HELLO! Wow, what an unusual surprise for me!

I know another woman who did not give head, and went through a divorce over the issue. She finally learned to give head and enjoy it when a girlfriend got her drunk, and then picked up a guy at the bar, and took him home. They stripped the guy down, and put him on his back in her bed. She told my friend to get on one side of him, and she got on the other side. They played, " Follow the leader ", with his cock, with the other woman first licking it, and then having my friend lick it the same way on the othe side. He was able to get it up, but was too drunk to contribute much to the effort. By this way, she learned not only what to do, and how to do it, but she heard his reactions to what they were doing, and understood for the first time in her life, the power women have over men when they give head. She had a date a couple of days later with another guy, and did him that night. She told me later that she thought that was the very first time she actually had fun having sex with a man! Then she laughed, and said, " If only my first husband could have seen me the other night! He would have been so pissed!"

You don't give us a clue as to why you are shy about having things in your mouth or even around it. If someone forced you to do oral sex, that was a crime, and you were the victim. That is not what you will be experiencing when you give head voluntarily to pleasure someone you love. It really does make all the difference in the world.

And that leads me to my last advice. The real problem with 3 somes is that while you may love one of the parties, it is very rare for you to be able to really love both of them. Without love, 3-some sex just becomes an orchestrated masturbation session, and it is not as much fun as it could be. Many very sexually active people decide that that kind of sex is just not for them, and probably never will be something they want to try. So, don't be pressured into doing a 3-some with anyone just because someone wants you to be involved. Know yourself, and what turns you on. Know what makes you happy. If you are uncomfortable with another woman in the bed, tell your guy so, and give him a choice. She leaves or I leave. You didn't tell us enough to understand what the " Black/White " issue is all about, so I won't comment, other than to say that racial identity is becoming less and less an issue these days, but can still affect your reputation if you live in a community where bigotry thrives. More than 30 years ago, I married an American of Japanese Ancestry, and we were the victims of racial prejudice, and jealousy by the wives of other professionals who resented my wife because she was also a profession. My family did not have any problems with the fact that my wife was non-white, but her family had members who were not happy that she was marrying outside her race. This is not necessarily going to be an issue if you are just dating someone, but bigotry can and does raise its ugly head when you least expect it. As long as you know there is a price to pay, then deal with it. But, don't let some guy talk you into having sex, or a 3-some to prove you are not a bigot! You have nothing to prove to anyone on that score.

Yes, there has been acts forced on me orally, in which, my trust level is shattered to a point of not trusting anyone. I don't like not having control and the even slightest mention of restraints make me feel panicky. I know that is where some of my hang ups come from and it isn't fair to who ever I happen to be with, but I don't know how to get past a lot of it. As for the other subject I asked about, my last husband was a heavy smoker ( I am not), and he ate more salt on his food, than there was actually food there it seemed. Just made for a bad taste combo to begin with.

On the 3 some issue, the black/white issue is that the guy is black and the girl is white. His race does not bother me at all, I have never been one to let someone's color or nationality determine my feelings. Alot of my issues are coming from my lack of trust in people. I have been hurt, and have been a very bad marriage, abusive-emotionally, physically, sexually. My husband is currently in jail, looking at multiple life sentences for rape, sodomy, and child molestation to 2 minors. Do I think he did it? Don't know for sure but some of the things that the 14 said he did and said are some of the same things he has done to me and said. He also told her she was special because she allowed him to do what I wouldn't. And she named those things off correctly. There was no way she could have known about some of it. I love sex, and I do enjoy it, but I miss it very much. My curiosity is high in many areas, but I just have a hard time being able to let my guard down and putting my trust in someone. I am very self concious and tend to embarrass very easily.

[Facial Cum Shots]

how many women enjoy to have your partner splatter his load in your face?

i love pulling out of my girls mouth and just covering her face with my cum....she likes it too.

i read this article that said teens are having sex by the age of 13, and out of 100 asked...most said they love giving guys oral sex and most agreed to saying that they love to get cum drenched....what a world!

I agree with Mikayla, you seem to be a bit too interested in younger girls and I am new here and have already picked up on that. It is very wrong and devastating to a family. I know, my husband, who I am in the middle of divorcing, and I have restraining orders on him, is in jail for 5 counts of rape, sodomy, child molestation, aggravated child molestation, and stalking. To 2 minors, it is WRONG, and very harmful to everyone it affects. I hope you are only dealing with girls over 18, I wouldn't wish the shame and embarrassment on no other family if you were to get caught otherwise.

[Unusual Ways To Masturbate]

I'm not sure if you would really call this "masturbation" but I lived in the Dominican Republic for just over a year and while on a bus crowded with 4 people in a seat really made for 3, my legs were crossed just right that as we went over the bumpy roads, my clit was stimulated and I orgasmed while on the bus with dominican men looking me right in the face as I tried my damndest not to moan out loud. TG it was a hot sweaty day, so any "wetness" on my clothes was naturally assumed to be sweat.

To reply to the question....when I was younger, I don't even know how I found out it felt so good, but it does and still does to this day. While in the bathtub, and the water is on full blast, I love to hold my legs up and let the water beat my private area. Make sure the water temp is comfy before trying it though, otherwise it can be a major jolt. It doesn't take very long to have me quivering and the release feels ohh so good. Lol, I have never told anyone about that, not even either of my husbands.

[Blow Jobs And Cum]

I completely understand the way you feel 'cause I'm the same way. I love to give bj's, it turns me on, but I have a very active gag reflex and that can be a real problem sometimes. I've found that if my Hb takes a shower first or if I do it in the shower it's much better. I like everything to be clean. BTW, I still can't let him cum in my mouth though. I wish I could be more help, but if nothing else maybe it helps to know you're not alone. Feel free to try the shower thing, it may just work for you.

I don't have a prob with a gag reflex as far as size goes, it is just with the body fluids. Yeah, I did try the shower thing a few times, but I am just not a spitter or swallower. I am a puker and my tummy just heaves if I taste any of it. Maybe it is because I don't eat salt, table salt, I don't even like the taste of salt at all and don't use it. But cum has a salty taste, and I just don't know how to get past this issue. I have been married 2 times and it was a major issue both times.

[Multiple Sex Partners]

Okay, here's the deal. I have been invited to a 3 some with some friends. Problem is, the curiosity is there, and part of me really wants to try it. But then, reality hits and I am too chicken. I am too scared! I have been close before to doing it years ago, my best friend had his girl over but I didn't like her to begin with, but when she pulled off her shirt, I got up and left the room. I still get ribbed to this day about it. But I have dreams and fantasys of actually doing it, and I really would like to, but I have a problem with bj's and anything near my mouth. She can go down and do all she wants, but I am afraid I will not be able to return the favor. I don't have a problem with the guy, and he thinks it is a black/white issue, but it isn't. How do I overcome this fear? Close my eyes and do it anyway? I am very curious to try it, just too damned chicken, and it makes me mad!

[Blow Jobs And Cum]

How do I say this right? I like giving blow jobs to very few and very select few people that I have been with. And even though I like to do it, I don't allow anyone to cum into my mouth. That to me, is just gross. I have been with several guys, and my husband was one that I could not give a bj too. I just could not go down on him and it became a problem in our marriage. I understand his want for it, but my stomach would just turn at the thought, and I did try, I almost puked on him. He was so mad at me. But I have been with others that I could go down on, so long as they don't cum into my mouth. How do I get past this fear or dislike? I really hate the taste of cum. And yes, I tried the candy deal, the Cool whip, chocolate, etc. but none of that covers the actually cum. It is embarrassing and I have this one friend that I can do things with no strings attached, and I can give him a bj, to a point, and he said I really need to find a way to deal with my inablities and fears and overcome them so that I could fully enjoy sex.

[Razor Burn]

I have also used neosporin after shaving, and I use baby oil sometimes too. Only problem I have with baby oil is that it tends to burn if I let it get on the inside of my vagina. I have to be really careful but it smells so sweet, especially the cocoa butter baby oil, and is so soft afterward. I am leary about using the Black Magic as I used to date a black guy and he said it would burn white peoples skin because it was not formulated for us, and I that is an area that I really don't want to burn.