Rachel28

Thanks for your replies. I am being treated for depression already, so hopefully things will get better with the extra exercise I am doing. I actually had a very traumatic birth that lead to an emergency c-section, so nothing managed to get through my vagina.... Have had loads of counselling and am satisfied that I resolved my grief. Feel so much better about myself in general and am losing weight. Relationship with DH is wonderful. We have a fanastic marriage and he helps heaps. Sex is "nice" but usually routine and brief. I don't bet extremely turned on and I am never very interested to begin with. Just don't understand why I am SO timid about my vagina??!! I should have pointed out that I have NEVER been very relaxed about it. Sex was great before birth, but the vagina issue has always been there. As I said any really hot raunchy sex where I let lose totally (including all oral sex etc..) was when lots of alcohol was involved...!!! Thanks again DragoFlyGirl

Hi Spiffy I agree that lubrication is the best way to start. I wouldn't worry about toys or learning your anatamy from a text book. I started when I was about 13 and didn't get my first toy until was 28 I think! Just try fingers and different textures on your body. Also, one thing - enjoy it and don't feel timid about it!

Hi there As a teenager I was very very interested in sex and mastubated and fantasised regularly although always felt guilty. I have had a great sex life with my husband of four years but after having my son (2 yrs ago), dificult birth and depression I am now finding the following issues. I have no idea where to start resloving! Help! 1. Sexual shyness/ timidness of showing nakedness (anytime except in front of my toddler) especially genitals (feels very childlike, so shy that close eyes and light off during sex and tense up when touched). Some positions (eg: me on top) too confronting as more of my body is exposed. Also self conscious about weight. 2. Difficulty relaxing and enjoying most sexual stimulation (mostly due to above as well as unable to “go within” and shut out the mundane outside world – used to be able to do when drunk but no longer drink) 3. Tension, mild panic and mild repulsion if DH attempts oral sex. Paranoid about the look, taste and smell of vagina. Never allow myself to enjoy as panic turns me off and DH senses tension. 4. Can never orgasm with any stimulation other than intercourse (ie: cannot relax and enjoy oral or manual stimulation except if totally alone) 5. Can orgasm easily on own but always feel like have to hide the fact that I enjoy it and feel immediately silly and guilty afterwards. 6. Can never seem to tune my fantasy imaginative mind into my actual mindset whilst attempting sex Strange one: Can never sleep naked because wake in the night conscious that my vagina could be exposed and “someone” might see (and I get cold too) Thanks DragonFlyGirl