Ocean

Well we got in a huge fight at the bar *him being at the puter for hours on end amongst other topics* I left, walked home, lost the keys along the way, passed out on the front porch etc etc Needless to say not much happened. I did tell him I was "planning to give you what you've wanted since you moved" that seemed to make him happy...then the damn fight. So instead of "planning" for me to just go for it, I'll let it just happen. If it does it does if it doesn't it doesn't. I had myself all worked up to go for it then lkjdfheaou LOL Sorry for the delay in updating, my net got shut off *damn bills* Ocean

OK SO I have Mikalyas suggestions in my cart along with a few others just for the hell of it like the dice n stuff he might be up for that ... hopefully Now hopefully I don't lose my nerve before he gets home * my card is in the van * I even added the 2 day shipping so it'll be here for the weekend wooohooo Its Now or Never time still gona shop though I think and I put in that free dvd a month maybe it'll help me out ~_~_~Ocean~_~_~

Yep they're gone 3 weekends a month and if there is a fifth weekend they are gone for that too. I have done my share of not having a life so "dad" gets them now. So yeah time to just jump right in

Yeah I've noticed they have lot of good stuff to say. I spent a good hour or so just reading yesterday. Was to scared to post Then I said F it if I wana get to where I wana be I gota suck up the scared/shyness and just post. I'm not sad I did. Still kind of embarrased you'd think after 33 years I'd be fine. Just this stuff has never been talked about while growing up or while married. I wasn't happy so I got out. Now I'm seeing that its basicaly the same so far and I gota gte bold or be unhappy again in a few years. When he first moved here everything was great, then I guess he got in the "comfy" spot and stayed there. WE WILL be talking this weekend while the kids are GONE I gota get this out in the open with him not just strangers. I KNOW that so its suck it up time and be the one to make that first move. We've talked and he wants to go shoppin' Maybe we'll goto the Hustler store downtown. Or the lil cheesy F street. Hustler I've heard is cool. F street is a lil sleazy like but whatever I'll be with HIM so it will all be good

Thanks guys Howard I"m working on it I'm working on it. I'm starting to be happy with myself and in 33 years I never have been. I'll get him off it lol I'm not a football/puter widow. I sit with him and read or just snuggle or whatever. Its just the whole self councious thing getting to me I guess. But being here is gona help I can tell already

Oh trust me it is something I want to do for him. Just I don't know what is holding me back I have it in my head to go ahead and do it that day then bam something stops me. **shrug** The porn I care but don't care about. I care cuz for some reason he just doesn't wana be near me at times. **shrug** but we're both way stressed out and will be for awhile. I always have in my head things to try and say but then it just doesn't come out. We didn't get to look at the stuff you suggested or the rest of the site because he came home from work, sat his ass in front of the computer and stayed there for 7 hours or so. We used to sit and eat dinner and watch game shows. Now nothing. I've tried to say things about it and talk about it but he gets defensive. I guess if I just dive in and give him what he wants things will change. Hes being just like a woman LOL Thanks for the chats Ocean and btw I grew up in NW IN about 30 mins away from Chicago

Thank you. We'll have a looksie when he gets home. As for anything. I've always been way shy and not into trying anything then the normal missionary/me on top. I know he is/was very much into his porn not so much now but it makes me even more scared I guess you could say. I really want to please him. Oral is not something I have done...once but I don't much remember it. Its something he really really really wants and I think is hung up on cuz he won't really do much with me anymore *hence the wanting new stuff* Guess I'm just scared...we'll see I have a feeling coming in here is gona help. I really want to do it for him I know it'll bring us closer etc etc. I feel like an idiot talking here but hey if its gona help then off I go.... I look foward to reading thoughts and posting more as well.

I'm new to actually enjoying sex and wanting it all the time. After six of years of my husband making me sick to my stomach I have moved on and have the most awesome boyfriend. We've both never really expeirmented and have talked about maybe wanting to. Advice? Ideas? Any would be appreciated. Thanks :D Ocean