sthrnsxyldy

I am sure this topic has probably already been discussed here but I need some input. My husband and I have married almost 10 yrs and while I love him dearly our sex life is almost none existant. I've always had a stronger sex drive than he does but now even I have lost a lot of my enthusiasum. We are both 43 and we have no children. I have spinal muscular atrophy that makes it necessary for me to use a wheelchair. I also require a lot of personal care which my husband lovingly provides. I am sure that the effort of my personal care drains some of the energy he might have for sex but surely we can have both. I am convinced there must be a way to turn the routine of bathing and dressing into more fun for us both. There are a couple more complicating issues as well. My husband has a very stressful job. He manages a retail store that sells mattresses and he does a good amount of heavy lifting and etc there so he has a bad back. He also takes the anti-depressant Lexapro which seems to help his depression but it seems to not be helping our sex life. Finally he is about a 150 lbs over weight which means our sex life has been limited to mutual masturbation for some time. He is a very caring and thoughtful lover and I always have multiple orgasms. But quite often I fail to be able to get him to come and as a result I feel like a failure. He never tries to finish it himself and that makes me feel worse. He doesn't seem to masturbate at all by himself at least not that I know of and I am puzzled by that. I always thought all men did that at least occassionally. I just want to be able to help him find pleasure again. I want him to find passion again on a regular basis for somethig other than food that is. I wish I could do the normal stuff most women do like meet him at the door in sexy lingere or just crawl into him lap and be the agressor. But it is hard to surprize someone with lingere when they dress you and my days of transferring myself out of this heelchair are long gone. So recently I been thinking toys might be the answer. I've wondered if he might not enjoy sex more and if having soe toys in our relationship might not give me the oportunity to initiate sex myself. Therein lies the rub how do I introduce the idea. I am active in my church and teach Sunday School (an adult class) but he doesn't go to church so I don't want to shock him too much. I am not looking to become a swinger or anything else I just more sex with my husband and I want it to be good for both of us. Please give me any advise you have I am getting desperate. sthrnsxyldy

Both look good to me but gotta admit the pump is more interesting. I really want something I can use on him or at least be a part of and the fleshlight might work but I am not sure I have enough dexterity to use it. He seldom if ever masturbates himself but he loves it when I do it for him and it just has gotten really difficult for me. We have been married almost 10 yrs and I have gotten weaker and he has gained so much weight intercourse is mostly a distant memory but I want us to revive and revamp our sex life we are too young to go to bed just watch tv every night. Please give me any ideas that might help.

I am looking mostly for assistance. I want to be involved.

I am looking for some advise on a toy for my husband. I have a muscle disease and have problems stimulating him to orgasm with my hands which seems to be his favorite thing a good old hand job. Can someone recommend a toy I can use with him that will give him what I seem to be losing. Bless his heart he doesn't complain but I want to be able to give him the enjoyment he gives me.