[He Almost Raped Me, Should I Forgive Him?]

Listen, life as you know it will change. It will be scary and hard. You have no choice, you have to leave. I didn't read everyone's posts yet. I am sure they all say GET OUT!!! You do not want to be a movie of the week on Lifetime. Trust me. I am happy to say. I have lived 2 years away from my abuser. Me and my daughter (4) are soooooooo much happier. I took 8 suitcases and my baby, got on a plane, moved 1500 miles to escape. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I LOVED him too. We were married 8 years. You will get over that. Your child needs you. Your child can't learn that this is acceptable behavior. There are organizations that can help you get out. Look and see if there is a HAWC in your area. (Help for Abused Woman and Children) You can't save him. He will never ever change. It WILL get worse. You are fooling yourself if you think it will. You have to ask yourself...How do I want to live my live? Do I want to be happy? Do I want to be a good parent? OR Do I want to live like this anymore? If this non-rape rape, was isolated I would be surprised. I am sure that this is the tip of the iceberg. I doubt he believes you will ever leave. I am sure to him you give him idle threats.

He has some narcisitic ideas....he is awesome, you would never leave. He is abusive. Abuse is in many forms. If he keeps you from your family and friends, keeps control of your comings and goings, controls the money, things like these. If he is a drinker, drug user. There is nothing there for you. He isn't in love with you. It is harsh, I'm sorry. No person who loves another person acts this way. We try to care for the people we love. We never ever intentionally hurt them. If he hurts you when he is drinking. It IS INTENTIONAL. He made the decission to drink. He has zero (0) respect for you. You and your child deserve a good, happy, fearless life. If you want that. You will act on it. Make it happen. Start by getting a restraining order.

Find a support group. If you have time and the means to surf the internet, there is sooooooo much help out their for you. Please take advantage of it. really think about this. YOUR life depends on it.

I wish you all the best.

[For Sew And All Who Can Relate]

Mikayla... Now is the perfect time for this......

Ode to BOB and Ode to YOU

(Battery operated boyfriend)

BOB is unlike anyboy friend I have ever had

He never gets angry, lonely, or sad

He is employed. Yes he has a job

He has only one job and he does it right

Early in the morning, or late late at night

Time has no meaning to BOB you see

His sole purpose in life

is to please me

Now that may seem selfish, to BOB, No not at all

Whenever BOB is out

we both have a ball

He understands his place

and why he is here

If I don't feel like it, BOB dosen't care

He sits there quietly, back in his place

He understands, I need my space

However, if I am ready to go, and hot with need

BOBs got the goods. BOBs got the speed

BOB gets me going, again and again

BOB dosen't mind, if I bring a friend

He has helped me descover allot about me

and how truly wonderful, to me, I can be

He needs some direction and assistance, it's true

...and he can't hug me, and do what you do

He is not you and all that you bring

He'll never be as awesome as the real thing

As I said before, he can never do all that you do

Therefore, he could never replace you!

But there are those times

When you're not around

When I'm missing you

and I'm feeling down

BOB is there, and I close my eyes

I pretend he is you, there by my side

Those times, when I long for your touch

BOB helps me through

When I miss you so much

He'll never love me

or be my friend

But BOB will have to do

Till I am with you again

Lots of Love Chickie Doo... Or Chickie Bow Wow....

[Its A Smelly Situation]

I want to thank you all for your advice, i figured it may be pharomones but wasnt sure. I really like the shower idea, never thought of it as practical just fantasy, as i am still living with my parents, till i ship off to college in the fall, but I will definatly try to initiate it somehow. And for the on th go when a show int available, i really like the coughbrop suggestion, and im sure she will. on thing is though, the girl i am wiht now doesnt shave or trim, i have tried to find round about ways to bring it up butshe never bites the bait, and i dont like the hair in the teeth idea. but ill figure out how to get her too....just takes time, i know.

Oh and thank you very much for the compliment people. Yes I'm sure Im not gay. No i didnt find a lot of the comments to be harsh, they were exactly what I was looking for. and lol, i guess I wont be having her use perfume down here. Most of the time for us, there isnt a whole lot of prep and I do like to beat around the bush and pleasure the rest of her before moving to the pleasure zone, most of it consit of the torso and neck but once I do go down there, i usually do some kissing of the thighs.So the perfume I doubt would be an option. Would the lotion have a bad taste though?

So since most of our extasy acts are fairly spontainious (often in the back of one mine or her tiny car) I guess I will just keep the cough drop at hand. And for the better times, illkeep the shower in mind.

Once again, I would like to thank everyone who commented on this, I search around the net and couldnt find a single thing on this, you guys have helped me a lot on this. and im still open for suggestion to btw lol

Thanks

-Danseur32

Hey Danseur

Hope all is going well... I saw you had asked about the lotion... Well, if she applies it as Mikalya mentioned, behind the knees...no problem... But I am sure one of the flavored lotions smell nice too...try that. only problem is that might be sticky... You should carry a blanket in your car. This way you can get out of the car... I am sure somewhere out where you live there is a secluded area....maybe wooded....you can go...

you just need a blanket. a cooler (for bevs), maybe some wet wipes(for after) and your imagination.. Oh and one of my friends..carries a Jolly-Rancher candy (instead of cough drop) The sugar free are less messy..

What ever you do have a great time...

[To Big For The Top]

Ok this is hard for me to post first of all but I need to get over it so I am turning to you guys. I used to be a bean pole I mean 5 foot 7 130 pounds. Now however I am not so fortunate but lets say I am probably 185 pounds now. Anyway I have always been attracted to tall not skinny but smaller men. Since I have gained weight I find that I am not at all interested in being on top in bed. I used to have a very spicey sex life and the top was my specialty. Now I am so uncomfortable and out of shape I just avoid it all together. Not only does this suck for me but my boyfriend thinks I am just being lazy. I have tried to explain to him but most guys could never understand. How can I get my confidence back?

Naudia...

Girl I get it.... I have been suffering from an eating disorder for many many years.... I am a complulsive

binge eater.... I can go for days...eating til I want to bust... (I never purge) then I can go for a few weeks ok. It is all about stress..(for me) Anyway... so indoing this... I go up, and down....Not a good thing.. But I have finally started therapy after all this time....It is helping. The key is, as everyone said. Find the inner sexy you. It is a mind thing. Find ways to make you feel girlie and beautiful....cause you know you are...you just forget sometimes, then you worry about it, causing the lack in confidence, you spoke of. Been there, done that... Things I have done to help a little. First, and this may sound silly... I have no business wearing a thong! So many many many many...would say. BUT I bought some anyway...They feel good. I feel like a woman wearing them... I compare it with a good hair cut.. You know that feeling.... Anyway...so I started with wearing nice underwear...matching bra.... Even if you are wearing some raggidy ole jeans and a T. You know under that, is pretty and girlie. So that is a start... I also...tan... (not too much) I know it is bad. But tan fat...way better than white fat. If you are already naturally dark....then you are a head of the game.

Next.. I started wearing a little bit of make up....again not too much, I never did before. Then I do my hair....Used to be a ponytail girl....I get my nails done, and toes too.....

These things make me feel good... when I feel good....It shows to the people around me. It is more attractive than if I was a perfect hour glass.... When I am this way I feel confident. Let me tell ya, becasue of these few little things, although I am still heavy, I am a wildcat in the sack!!!! I feel good about it. I have never hurt or crushed the man...(on top) Has your guy ever complained? I think you are just feeling selfconsious. ( I understand that) He, I am sure is just fine. Find ways to feel good about you.

Sure I would like to be thinner, more beautiful for my man. (and myself) You know what I discovered. He loves me just the way I am. Should I change that's ok. But my point is. if you have a good relationship it is ok, all of it. Be you. What do they say.... change the things you can, accept the things you can't? Just be you, and be happy. Happiness...doesn't always just happen...sometimes you have to work at it. It all depends on you and how badly you want it... Now give your self a hug... and save a horse...ride that cowboy...and love everyminute of it.

[Who Has Broken A Toy?]

Chickiedoo I will be more then happy to go to that group if you let me know where. I just broke my Top Cat Erotic Butterfly that I wrote a review on. I haven't had it that long but well I killed it. I strapped it on and kept it on threw out the day. Heck the kids couldn't hear it and it made my day go by with pleasure and so I thought the batteries had died but nope I blew the motor. IT is a TERRIBLE DAY TODAY. I loved that thing. Oh well I quess.................... as Mikayla would say " I can't talk anymore'"

Katprr...

The good news is... if you buy a toy here, at too timid, they will replace it. I think it has a year warranty? Not exactly sure...(have to check that)

I didn't have to return it, but it was in the policy.. to return the broken toy...

How'd ya like to be that guy!!!! Wearing the hazmat suit....checking to see if it was abused or damaged by "normal wear and tear". Wow! Sorry ma'am... After close inspection of your toy, it looks to have been seriously mis-used.....

Yuk!

Anyway, they have been great here(Rob) no questions asked and quick response.

[Dom Or Sub Which Do You Prefer?]

fantisize about being a sub -- i love the dirty talk and having my hands held still and having my hair pulled while he is behind but i get scared. i was raped my first time and didn't get help. so i don't know if i'm just reliving the rape with hopes of a better out come or if i'm really enjoying myself. i just know that if it goes on for too long i get really freaked out and start crying and shaking and end up locking myself in the bathroom. you would think that after 27 years and two kids and two marriages i would be over it.

I feel exactly the same way, for the same reason. You never get over it. You just put it aside, as best you can. I am ALWAYS the dom.. It is my comfort zone. Would really like to experiance being a sub...really. Just get really freaked out. Do like slight hair pulling and my hands held still, but in small doses....I eventually need to regain the control... I am working on it. I have trust issues, I guess....Never retreated to BR but had to stop. Shaking too. Used to wreck the mood all the time.... It was 20 years ago....it is always there.... It isn't as bad as back then. Really really want to sub.......hopefully one day.

[Who Has Broken A Toy?]

Too funny! I thought I was insane.... (well maybe) I have only a few toys and just recently bought them.

I have had 3 yes, three...die.... I bought one and it just died? I called and it was replaced... I was happy. Shortly after...it broke too... Then I bought a cordless vibrating egg...with remote. Thought that would be fun when out...can give the bf the control.... Well... Never got that far... I broke it using it myself. Just before the big o it died..... I was so bummed. ran right out and got new batteries? Dead. Maybe there is a group I can join.... OMA (over masterbating anonymous)

[Has Anyonel Had Episiotomies Problems During Sex?]

Okay, I have noticed a few times now that, at times my incision site from my episiotomy will tear, not badly but I and also my husbad notice it. I am just curious if other women have had this problem. I notice it when at times I get a little to rough with my favorite toys and also during hard core sex when hubby has my toys, or even when it is just him and no toys involved. Not a bad tear but a little one.

So this is for all the women who have had children and had a episiotomy. I have to say I am a little curious, this is nothing that is painful or really bothering and not a serious tear, just a little stretching that causes a slight tear.

Sorry about the plural on that I was just a little tired.

Katprr.

I had an episiotomy 15 years ago...yes, sometimes I do tear? A few times I actually noticed I would bleed. An itsy bitsy amount. I am sure it was from the tear. Never hurt and went away very quickly. Never thought to even discuss it. Well until now... Was never a major cause for concern, it happens so infrequent. Ususally when I am not wet enough or have gone long periods of time without sex....It will be interesting to see how many people reply to this. Now I am curious as well.

[Has Anyonel Had Episiotomies Problems During Sex?]

Okay, I have noticed a few times now that, at times my incision site from my episiotomy will tear, not badly but I and also my husbad notice it. I am just curious if other women have had this problem. I notice it when at times I get a little to rough with my favorite toys and also during hard core sex when hubby has my toys, or even when it is just him and no toys involved. Not a bad tear but a little one.

So this is for all the women who have had children and had a episiotomy. I have to say I am a little curious, this is nothing that is painful or really bothering and not a serious tear, just a little stretching that causes a slight tear.

Sorry about the plural on that I was just a little tired.

Katprr.

I had an episiotomy 15 years ago...yes, sometimes I do tear? A few times I actually noticed I would bleed. An itsy bitsy amount. I am sure it was from the tear. Never hurt and went away very quickly. Never tought to even discuss it. Well until now... Was never a major cause for concern, it happens so infrequent. Ususally when I am not wet enough or have gone long periods of time without sex....It will be interesting to see how many people reply to this. Now I am curious as well.

[Orgasms...help!]

I'm 24 and I've been with a guy for 5 years in a great relationship. and we have great sex. but the only problem is i've never had an orgasms. i feel like i am on the "verge" but its like i stop it.. i don't know.. it's weird. i enjoy having sex with my boyfriend, but i feel embarassed if i "get off". but i want to have an orgasm. but i don't know how.. i'm now gonna buy myself a vibrator (any suggestions) to see if that helps. i feel like i'm letting him down by not getting off.. I get to the point where i feel like i'm about to pee on myself, and it's like i try to stop it. When i feel like i'm "there" my boyfriend is done. He says he tries to hold off for me as long as he can, but he always cums and orgasm and i never do.. Please someone help me to get over this hurdle so i can experience what everyone is talking about..

I was in the same situation for a long long time. When I was younger... (Like 3 months ago)

Well seriously, When I was in my 20's. I came from a household that NEVER disussed sex. EVER.

I thought by what little I did hear, that sex was mainly for the man. He was to enjoy sex. I never thought I was supposed to enjoy it. Even when I thought I was. I would never admit to anyone that I wanted to enjoy sex. I thought this non orgasmic sex was, well, what it was. Until I once had an orgasm. Then I started thinking hey....there is more to this. I even felt, embarrassed becasue I liked how it felt. I still wouldn't admit it. I would shy away from sex or stop before having an orgasm, just so I didn't have to deal with how it made me feel. This all may soound nuts, I know.... Well many years later, a serious live-in boyfriend and x husband later.... I decided... I want sex, and lots of it. Not just sex but great, orgasmic sex...and damit I am gonna like it. SO.. I held my breath, and decided to talk to one of my girlfriends about it. I was relieved that the stuff I was talking to her about was no big deal. We sat and chatted about it like we we talk about anything. then we started to talk about toys. I didn't have any...she did... I ordered one. It was the best thing I EVER did for MYSELF. DO IT. It is the best way for you to get to know you. I had a problem with having 1 orgasm. It was intense and I would always say "no more". But after some practice...and Howard's awesome breating advice....I am now up to 10.... So I must say...Really get to know you. If you are already enjoying the time you are having while having sex with your guy...this will make it so much better. If you care about him. Trust him. Talk to him about this issue you have. You shouldn't feel embarrassed.

Explore yourself. let him help you. You will feel closer to him, he will be very excited about it too.

I am a much happier person. I am all for self exploration. It is the only way to let some one else know what you like. Ok ...now I am rambling. One more thing... Question..You have oral?. I find it almost impossible not to have an orgasm durnig oral (sometimes I can't) but if he has a hard time "waiting" for you. Maybe he should spend a bit more "you" time. He is guaranteed an orgasm..so it sounds. Have him give you some great oral... then move on to something else...maybe take care of him after. Whatever you do,have fun and good luck.

[Its A Smelly Situation]

OK, I want to point out something to all of you "DON'T USE PEFUME' people! I never, ever said for the woman to use perfume on her snatch - I just said to use it on her legs - now, I don't think he is going to lick up and down her legs if he knows she is putting perfume there!

I frequently use perfume on my thighs to just spice things up - behind the knees - and let me tell you - I have never had one complaint from any man about the taste cause I warn them to only lick the privates please!

So, unless she is going crazy with the spraying - or spraying with her panties OFF - there should not be an issue here!

Just wanted to clarify!

Mikayla

Yes perfume is ok, as you said YOU have used it frequently with great results. They have only just begun, and becasue of that. She might go crazy with it. She might over do it with out thinking that it may sting or taste nasty... and if he is reluctant to give oral, he may beat around the bush. (pun intended) Which means he just might be licking around everywhere else to get his courage up fort he big plunge. That's all...

I am all for the purfume.... only if one is mature enough to handle it. Absoultly behind the knees! Scented lotion is awesome too. Mikayla you're awesome. I knew what you meant. I just thought He might not.

[Its A Smelly Situation]

Ive gone down on several girls (6) and they have all had the same problem, they smell down there. I cant stand the smell so now I cant go down on them. Its not like i have been with dirty girls, several wer very clean virgins, they all have the same smell and it it stinks. I have almost pucked during oral sex. I dont like this because my g/f has given me head several times and the only way I can please her back is to either use my hands, which i dont find as intimate, or have outright sex, which isnt always an option. What can I do about this? is it a biological thing? my nose doesnt like pussy? or what? this is really bothering me bc i like oral sex on a woman but I cant get past the smell! HELP!

Well... I must first commend you! I mean really. You are very young. Most guys your age simply just don't care either way. They are just glad to be having sex. (Of any kind) So to actually care about your girl and want to please her. That's awesome. You're a good guy. Now by no means am I the foremost expert, but I agree with Howard. A shower, together, is the way to go. it is a very intimate thing, really. Pluse like he said. If you clean it, you know it is clean. I do suggest using something with flavor. Cough drops work well (with menthol) and give a cooling sensation to your partner. I would stay away from the perfume idea. Sorry Mikayla, you rock girl, but have you ever tasted perfume? It stays with you for ever. It really is a mind set. If you are really digging her...be one with her. Let it go. get over it. I know you are young, but if you are trained right, from the beginning.... you'll make some girl very lucky. Good luck to you.

[Orgasm And Crying?]

Chickiedoo, You are NOT A FREAK!!!! I have cried before to after having a O. I have learned that it was not only the wonderful feelings of the physical action but also the release of all the emotional build up I had from previous situtation and to FINALLY feel as needed,cherished and Loved by someone was amazing along with the excitement of the O was just so overwhelming and powerful. Nothing is wrong with you and it may all be to the happiness and love you are feeling along with the physical and mental aspect of the O all at once. Since we all know that you are so relaxed during the O everything is coming out at once.(pun intended)

OK so now.... I was with bf Fridaynight..... couldn't O then I CRIED..... I wanted to in the worst way. Maybe I am a freak and I just like to cry... He was so awesome. I think for a moment he felt relief. It is the first time that has happened to me. (not the first for him...if you know what I mean) so he realized..we are all human.

I am now up to 8 toys.... Really wanting to figure out what makes me tick. (and him) despite all the emotional stuff. We are having loads of fun learning each other. Thanks for all your input!!!!!!

[Orgasm And Crying?]

You're not a freak! I've been with my husband for 11 years and I've had that happen to me a handful of times. There were stressors in my life and with climax came tears -- a total release session! It was such a powerful time with him... not just orgasmically but emotionally, I was ...overwhelmed... sound familiar?

The first two times I did it, he was beside himself, wondering what he'd done wrong or if he hurt me. It took me a while to get him to realize he'd done nothing WRONG -- he'd done everything RIGHT!

Like Howard mentioned, it sounds as though you're in a good place for you right now, your new boyfriend being part of that good place. Don't stress over it; it will work itself out.

You know I love this place!!!!!! This has been going on so long....I just didn't know who to ask...Silly me.

Yes Howard, my marriage sucked big.... was very abusive, especially emotionally. I wasn't allowed to actually have any emotions, or feel anything. He couldn't handle it. i had to cry in the shower, so he couldn't hear me. I would just get ridiculed... I owned a business, a house, have a 4 year old. She was 2 when I left... I took her 8 suitcases, got on a plane...move 1500 miles away....(Hubbie was a druggie)

Now I am much happier now... Now I feel EVERY THING... It is hard sometimes to shuffle these feelings around... This crying after orgasm IS so very powerful.... I feel light as a feather once I calm down..

[Orgasm And Crying?]

Ok this is crazy, I need help understanding this...Anyone else experience this? I was married for 8 years

(my divorce is final today!!!!! Yeah!) I have a new bf and he is awesome!!! However, when I finally have an orgasm, I burst into tears!!!! Everytime. It is like the few seconds after is so emotional I can't control myself. I feel like a freak. This has never happened before. I have been in this relationship for well over a year and the sex gets better and better...and better... I can't complain. I just can't figure out the whole cring thing....

[No Love Just Money]

I TOTALLY agree with this. I was dating a guy that a friend set me up with. We had been around each other several times in the past. Then he asked if I'd be his girlfriend. (We were in our teens) I said yes, and we dated for several months. We didn't talk about love or the future or anything, but one day he told me he was going to be moving out of state and said everything would be better if we got 'hitched'. His words exactly! My eyes just kinda got wide and I thought to myself, wait a minute, I don't love him, I just like to hang out with him. I had to say no, and he was crushed, and obviously we broke up. You don't want your situation to reach that point. He's going along thinking everything is awesome, and your sitting there going, well...

My advice would be the same as the above advice. Take some time to yourself to figure out how you really feel. Stay with a relative or a friend for a weekend and see how you feel about not being around him. If you can't stand being away from him, then you know you have something there. But if you feel this sense of relief instead, then you know. And if you find that you don't really love him, talk to him about it. It's not fair to let him believe you feel as intensly as he does. And it may be that you just aren't there YET. Talk about that too. Maybe he's just moving too fast for you. You may not want to end it, you may just need to ask him to slow down a bit. Hope this helps. Just make sure you don't end up like I did with that guy. It was a really crappy feeling to reject him like that when he thought we were in love.

I totally agree with EVERYONE. I lived with a guy for 4 years!!!!! I wanted to love this guy in the worst way..

Really. He was everything anyone could want. Classy, handsome, good job, from wealthy family (millionaires) smart..... BUT.. we didn't have that thing. The more I tried the worse it got. Then I started resenting him becasue he wanted things from me. Emotionally. Physically I was uncomfortable having sex with him and couldn't perform the way he'd have liked. 1st big clue!! I had a hard time being honest with him and he ended up giving me "the ring". I ran for the hills...(I was very young, not my proudest moment)

When I moved out and was driving away..He was standing in the roadside holding a big sign that said, in big letters "Please Don't Go" He was crying. It was awful. If you don't feel the same way as him... let him go. Don't waste your time or his. There is someone out there for you. When you get that feeling of "Oh Wow!" this is it. You'll know. It will be worth it. All the money in the world isn't.

[Back In Action]

hello all i just wanted to share with you that after a little quiet time and relaxing plus deleting stress out my life im back in stride

it felt wonderful to release a lot of build fustration we actually tried some new toys and one i didnt enjoy at all it did nothing for me its called the "THE WIRELESS CLIT CLIMAXER" i didnt get anything from it it wasnt stimulating at all so passed on that and went for the bullet and OH YEA it was on for good !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you guys have any suggestion for clit stimulating please pass on to me. thanks for the support and advice on how to relax you guys are wonderful

Want2know

I am very new to all this....but I bought the Silk Touch Vibrating Egg.... I really really like it!!! It has many speeds and pulsations... Sometimes when I am finished...I laugh out loud..cause it is sooooo good!

You really sould get one if it it stimulation you are looking for.

Chickiedoo

[Do You Like To Read Erotica?]

Man I love the Anne Rice Beauty series!!! I put off finishing the last one just cuz I didn't want them to end. My friend that is into BDSM suggested I get them when we started talking about my desire to be a submissive. It wasn't til I talked to her that I even knew there was a name for what I felt. Like so many others, I thought BDSM only had to do with pain and humiliation. So not true!!

I also like to read erotica in short stories off free internet sites. And I used to read romance novels just for the sex scenes. I work in a library so I have a never-ending supply of them, just don't have any time to read lately.

This topic is exciting for me becasue me and my bf just started writing to each other our own erotic stories.

It started out as a "Home Work" assignment I gave him...to actually write a realistic fantasy. Which would include me of corse. He was to write it and then give it to me when he saw me next. We only see each other once or twice a week so it helps build the antisipation.... I am learning a lot about him and myself. We keep getting a little bit more daring....It has been really fun.

[Spit Or Swallow]

Spit or Swallow? This was a question I always asked myself. I am completely new to discovering my own sexuality. I was married for almost 9 years. I had no desire to spit or swallow. I have been dating a nice guy for over a year and we have just had the best time discovering each other. I have recently purchased a few toys...and then a few more...It can be very addicting.

One day...He came to my office for lunch... Next thing you know my dead bolt is locked and well...He is getting the best BJ ever, if I say so my self....and it was the first time I EVER swallowed! My friends had a party in my honor that night. Shocked that I am 37 and never have. Since then I totally do, always!!! It was very exciting for me. especially that first time, cause I knew he was surprised. I could tell by the I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU! He said it was a physical as well as mental pleasure. Who knew? So if it isn't some thing you do...give it a try. Your guy will Loooooove you for it, and youi just might like it!