Turdlebugga@yahoo.com

Listen, life as you know it will change. It will be scary and hard. You have no choice, you have to leave. I didn't read everyone's posts yet. I am sure they all say GET OUT!!! You do not want to be a movie of the week on Lifetime. Trust me. I am happy to say. I have lived 2 years away from my abuser. Me and my daughter (4) are soooooooo much happier. I took 8 suitcases and my baby, got on a plane, moved 1500 miles to escape. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I LOVED him too. We were married 8 years. You will get over that. Your child needs you. Your child can't learn that this is acceptable behavior. There are organizations that can help you get out. Look and see if there is a HAWC in your area. (Help for Abused Woman and Children) You can't save him. He will never ever change. It WILL get worse. You are fooling yourself if you think it will. You have to ask yourself...How do I want to live my live? Do I want to be happy? Do I want to be a good parent? OR Do I want to live like this anymore? If this non-rape rape, was isolated I would be surprised. I am sure that this is the tip of the iceberg. I doubt he believes you will ever leave. I am sure to him you give him idle threats. He has some narcisitic ideas....he is awesome, you would never leave. He is abusive. Abuse is in many forms. If he keeps you from your family and friends, keeps control of your comings and goings, controls the money, things like these. If he is a drinker, drug user. There is nothing there for you. He isn't in love with you. It is harsh, I'm sorry. No person who loves another person acts this way. We try to care for the people we love. We never ever intentionally hurt them. If he hurts you when he is drinking. It IS INTENTIONAL. He made the decission to drink. He has zero (0) respect for you. You and your child deserve a good, happy, fearless life. If you want that. You will act on it. Make it happen. Start by getting a restraining order. Find a support group. If you have time and the means to surf the internet, there is sooooooo much help out their for you. Please take advantage of it. really think about this. YOUR life depends on it. I wish you all the best.

Mikayla... Now is the perfect time for this...... Ode to BOB and Ode to YOU (Battery operated boyfriend) BOB is unlike anyboy friend I have ever had He never gets angry, lonely, or sad He is employed. Yes he has a job He has only one job and he does it right Early in the morning, or late late at night Time has no meaning to BOB you see His sole purpose in life is to please me Now that may seem selfish, to BOB, No not at all Whenever BOB is out we both have a ball He understands his place and why he is here If I don't feel like it, BOB dosen't care He sits there quietly, back in his place He understands, I need my space However, if I am ready to go, and hot with need BOBs got the goods. BOBs got the speed BOB gets me going, again and again BOB dosen't mind, if I bring a friend He has helped me descover allot about me and how truly wonderful, to me, I can be He needs some direction and assistance, it's true ...and he can't hug me, and do what you do He is not you and all that you bring He'll never be as awesome as the real thing As I said before, he can never do all that you do Therefore, he could never replace you! But there are those times When you're not around When I'm missing you and I'm feeling down BOB is there, and I close my eyes I pretend he is you, there by my side Those times, when I long for your touch BOB helps me through When I miss you so much He'll never love me or be my friend But BOB will have to do Till I am with you again Lots of Love Chickie Doo... Or Chickie Bow Wow....

Hey Danseur Hope all is going well... I saw you had asked about the lotion... Well, if she applies it as Mikalya mentioned, behind the knees...no problem... But I am sure one of the flavored lotions smell nice too...try that. only problem is that might be sticky... You should carry a blanket in your car. This way you can get out of the car... I am sure somewhere out where you live there is a secluded area....maybe wooded....you can go... you just need a blanket. a cooler (for bevs), maybe some wet wipes(for after) and your imagination.. Oh and one of my friends..carries a Jolly-Rancher candy (instead of cough drop) The sugar free are less messy.. What ever you do have a great time...

Naudia... Girl I get it.... I have been suffering from an eating disorder for many many years.... I am a complulsive binge eater.... I can go for days...eating til I want to bust... (I never purge) then I can go for a few weeks ok. It is all about stress..(for me) Anyway... so indoing this... I go up, and down....Not a good thing.. But I have finally started therapy after all this time....It is helping. The key is, as everyone said. Find the inner sexy you. It is a mind thing. Find ways to make you feel girlie and beautiful....cause you know you are...you just forget sometimes, then you worry about it, causing the lack in confidence, you spoke of. Been there, done that... Things I have done to help a little. First, and this may sound silly... I have no business wearing a thong! So many many many many...would say. BUT I bought some anyway...They feel good. I feel like a woman wearing them... I compare it with a good hair cut.. You know that feeling.... Anyway...so I started with wearing nice underwear...matching bra.... Even if you are wearing some raggidy ole jeans and a T. You know under that, is pretty and girlie. So that is a start... I also...tan... (not too much) I know it is bad. But tan fat...way better than white fat. If you are already naturally dark....then you are a head of the game. Next.. I started wearing a little bit of make up....again not too much, I never did before. Then I do my hair....Used to be a ponytail girl....I get my nails done, and toes too..... These things make me feel good... when I feel good....It shows to the people around me. It is more attractive than if I was a perfect hour glass.... When I am this way I feel confident. Let me tell ya, becasue of these few little things, although I am still heavy, I am a wildcat in the sack!!!! I feel good about it. I have never hurt or crushed the man...(on top) Has your guy ever complained? I think you are just feeling selfconsious. ( I understand that) He, I am sure is just fine. Find ways to feel good about you. Sure I would like to be thinner, more beautiful for my man. (and myself) You know what I discovered. He loves me just the way I am. Should I change that's ok. But my point is. if you have a good relationship it is ok, all of it. Be you. What do they say.... change the things you can, accept the things you can't? Just be you, and be happy. Happiness...doesn't always just happen...sometimes you have to work at it. It all depends on you and how badly you want it... Now give your self a hug... and save a horse...ride that cowboy...and love everyminute of it.

Katprr... The good news is... if you buy a toy here, at too timid, they will replace it. I think it has a year warranty? Not exactly sure...(have to check that) I didn't have to return it, but it was in the policy.. to return the broken toy... How'd ya like to be that guy!!!! Wearing the hazmat suit....checking to see if it was abused or damaged by "normal wear and tear". Wow! Sorry ma'am... After close inspection of your toy, it looks to have been seriously mis-used..... Yuk! Anyway, they have been great here(Rob) no questions asked and quick response.

I feel exactly the same way, for the same reason. You never get over it. You just put it aside, as best you can. I am ALWAYS the dom.. It is my comfort zone. Would really like to experiance being a sub...really. Just get really freaked out. Do like slight hair pulling and my hands held still, but in small doses....I eventually need to regain the control... I am working on it. I have trust issues, I guess....Never retreated to BR but had to stop. Shaking too. Used to wreck the mood all the time.... It was 20 years ago....it is always there.... It isn't as bad as back then. Really really want to sub.......hopefully one day.

Too funny! I thought I was insane.... (well maybe) I have only a few toys and just recently bought them. I have had 3 yes, three...die.... I bought one and it just died? I called and it was replaced... I was happy. Shortly after...it broke too... Then I bought a cordless vibrating egg...with remote. Thought that would be fun when out...can give the bf the control.... Well... Never got that far... I broke it using it myself. Just before the big o it died..... I was so bummed. ran right out and got new batteries? Dead. Maybe there is a group I can join.... OMA (over masterbating anonymous)

Yes perfume is ok, as you said YOU have used it frequently with great results. They have only just begun, and becasue of that. She might go crazy with it. She might over do it with out thinking that it may sting or taste nasty... and if he is reluctant to give oral, he may beat around the bush. (pun intended) Which means he just might be licking around everywhere else to get his courage up fort he big plunge. That's all... I am all for the purfume.... only if one is mature enough to handle it. Absoultly behind the knees! Scented lotion is awesome too. Mikayla you're awesome. I knew what you meant. I just thought He might not.

Well... I must first commend you! I mean really. You are very young. Most guys your age simply just don't care either way. They are just glad to be having sex. (Of any kind) So to actually care about your girl and want to please her. That's awesome. You're a good guy. Now by no means am I the foremost expert, but I agree with Howard. A shower, together, is the way to go. it is a very intimate thing, really. Pluse like he said. If you clean it, you know it is clean. I do suggest using something with flavor. Cough drops work well (with menthol) and give a cooling sensation to your partner. I would stay away from the perfume idea. Sorry Mikayla, you rock girl, but have you ever tasted perfume? It stays with you for ever. It really is a mind set. If you are really digging her...be one with her. Let it go. get over it. I know you are young, but if you are trained right, from the beginning.... you'll make some girl very lucky. Good luck to you.

OK so now.... I was with bf Fridaynight..... couldn't O then I CRIED..... I wanted to in the worst way. Maybe I am a freak and I just like to cry... He was so awesome. I think for a moment he felt relief. It is the first time that has happened to me. (not the first for him...if you know what I mean) so he realized..we are all human. I am now up to 8 toys.... Really wanting to figure out what makes me tick. (and him) despite all the emotional stuff. We are having loads of fun learning each other. Thanks for all your input!!!!!!

You know I love this place!!!!!! This has been going on so long....I just didn't know who to ask...Silly me. Yes Howard, my marriage sucked big.... was very abusive, especially emotionally. I wasn't allowed to actually have any emotions, or feel anything. He couldn't handle it. i had to cry in the shower, so he couldn't hear me. I would just get ridiculed... I owned a business, a house, have a 4 year old. She was 2 when I left... I took her 8 suitcases, got on a plane...move 1500 miles away....(Hubbie was a druggie) Now I am much happier now... Now I feel EVERY THING... It is hard sometimes to shuffle these feelings around... This crying after orgasm IS so very powerful.... I feel light as a feather once I calm down..

Ok this is crazy, I need help understanding this...Anyone else experience this? I was married for 8 years (my divorce is final today!!!!! Yeah!) I have a new bf and he is awesome!!! However, when I finally have an orgasm, I burst into tears!!!! Everytime. It is like the few seconds after is so emotional I can't control myself. I feel like a freak. This has never happened before. I have been in this relationship for well over a year and the sex gets better and better...and better... I can't complain. I just can't figure out the whole cring thing....