trickychick
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Posts posted by trickychick
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Many of you have seen some of my posts about the relationship with my gf and dealing with her depression. Outside of sex and the sexual side effects of the Prozac she is on, its to the point now where I really can't deal with it much longer. Am I a bad person for saying that and feeling like that? I'm mentally an upbeat person and physically active person, and her ups and downs are opposite of me. Some days she is so sad that I can't take it. I've been patient with her for over a year and a half, and do a lot of research to understand the illness, and to be compassionate and understanding. I love her dearly and treat her very well, and she says she loves me to no end, but its like a yo-yo. I don't want to leave her (I know her depression will become worse), but I'm seeing that the long term effects of her depression on our relationship are not positive at all. Her self-esteem continues to be low and wonders why am I with her. Its getting old.
Ourside of sex, how are some of you dealing with your partner who is suffering from depression? Have you left someone in the past you really cared for, but couldn't deal with it any longer?
Telecom
Hi,
Ive been with my man for 8 years. We are quite different.
I am the eternal optimist, always wanting to do stuff, being positive for the most part, sort of 'seize the day' type. He is often tired, pessimistic, negative, miserable, angry, and tired again. He has little positive comments to make and sees the bad side of everything, even food. For the first 4 years I found this such a pain, but I have learned to see him through all his negativity, and I have kind of learned who he really is, why hes like that, why he does it.
For a while, it felt like he was dragging me down (it always seems that the negative wins, its easier to be down than up, and misery loves company) And I did actually leave him.
But we got back together (we have kids), and I learned ways of dealing with his pessimism, and NOT being dragged down, and staying the way I am. I try not to let him hold me back. For all I know he does have some sort of depression, but he says hes not depressed and is against the idea of counselling (hmmmm...)
I know its not exactly the same, but Im saying its possible after alot of experience with your SO, to get to grips with their behaviours. I think accepting the way they are, and not becoming like them but continuing to be yourself may be hard, but possible. I have noticed over the years, my SO has changed in some ways, because I never stop being positive to him.
BUT if I become miserable myself, its truly hell, two miserable people together is not good, you feed off each other and go plummeting down, thats the only problem. I can never have a problem of my own, he doesnt know how to support me emotionally, which is a worry, but that is HIS problem, not mine, and not my fault. Ive learned to recognise these things, and work round them.
He has his good points, dont get me wrong, Im ONLY talking about stuff relating to your post. I completely understand how you feel. Its hard. Good luck x
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Hmmm...bondage fascinates me, and comes into my fantasies alot, but much of it stays there, I dont think I could be completely tied/immobilised, put in a body bag, cut, humiliated, electrocuted, stretched or fisted....!
I prefer light bondage, dressing up/down, playing with ideas but not going too extreme...Also, I dont know how far he could go anyway, Ive a feeling he couldn't go beyond a certain point either.
Some things I find disturbing, medieval torture, and blood/surgery type stuff...everyone has a cut off point I suppose.
As for fucking machines, I think they look awesome fun (but what are they trying to do, make men obsolete??!!!) Would I get one...yes, but would I ever use it? or would it end up in the garage with the exercise bike and rowing machine?
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We use Wet Stuff, I dont know if you guys have that over there..Also we have some flavoured lubes, but some of it is TOO flavoured and very strong, especially the orange one, which annoys me...!
We mostly use it for hand jobs and sometimes anal. I dont usually require extra lube, but sometimes use it with a toy.
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Last night my man was going crazy, he had to have sex.
It HAS been a few days, as I came off the pill and had my period(long story) but I said 'why havent you just had a wank?!' he said he hates doing that, its no good, he wants to have sex.
I said 'i dont understand that' ...he didnt elaborate. He just said he really wanted SEX, it was making him angry not having any (not a violent angry, a frustrated angry). I dont understand why he doesnt masturbate when he feels like that?? I dont think he does it much at all.
(We are both in our 30's BTW)
Any ideas?
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A WOMEN HAS THE BEST RADAR DETECTOR IF SHE IS NOT IN DENIEL, & THATS INTINCT. I BELIEVE ITS AT LEAST 99%. THEN YOU GET YOUR PROOF AS SUGESTTED BY THE OTHER PEOPLE.
I would agree with the 'gut instinct' thing...it has its basis in reality.
'Gut instinct' is based on subtle observations of body language, that your subconscious brain recognises, but your conciousness may not (we are not really very conscious of body language in this age).
So if someone 'feels' wrong, the chances are they are giving off body language (aka vibes) which you subconsciously know is not quite right, so the best bet is to trust this instinct, without trying too hard to control it.
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I do think it has to be built up slowly. A while ago I asked my man 'what about me using a strap on to do you, dear?' of course the answer was 'err...no thanks' I see that was not a great suggestion!lol
So instead, I started just touching/tickling his arse, then progressed more into rubbing, and then a bit more exploring, to the point where more recently he actually asked me to rub his arse while we were doing some foreplay. I think thats quite and acheivement for him, and am happy to continue with this slowly, as we have no need to rush, really. I just like the fact that we are both trying this stuff for the first time with each other, which is nice after 7 years, to be still trying something new.
I dont really know about why alot of the male population are so 'eewww' about it.
Maybe its the last taboo act
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Sometimes when we are in missionary, my bf will sit on his knees, grab my thighs and put them over his shoulders and start doing it that way. That makes it go REALLY deep, and i think it hits my cervix and makes it hurt.. Does anybody else do this position? Do you like it, or does it make you hurt too? I think it's really sexy and don't wanna stop doing it, but it hurts!
According to one of Howards posts, it takes 20 minutes of arousal for the cevix to tilt up and out of the way. Maybe make sure youve been having foreplay for a while and are really raring to go before trying this position again.
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Well, I LOVE trying new sex positions.
What's your favorite and why>Well (considered boring, but) Im going to say any variation on the missionary, as I love the closeness, being able to see/touch him, all the right spots get stimulated and I almost always come that way.
I also like a sort of 'scissors' position which I dont really know how to describe, will have to think about that.
If I fancy a bit of hard and rough, any of the doggy styles.
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smariette - In general (as they do differ) I get a creeping tingly sensation which works its way up my thighs and down my stomach area towards my pussy, which is like a gathering tension...then is the best bit when the O hits which feels like a slow, hot 'bursting' or 'blossoming' sensation when the 'wave breaks' which is what it reminds me of like, a breaking wave....followed by a massive feeling of relief and satisfaction and relaxation. Then there is a cool down period where its just feeling nice. Then just carry on and do it again, and again....etc!!! I find the third one is usually best of all.
is there anything you do when you’re close to send you over the edge?Just dont stop!!
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The thing he feels is inside of me... He feels it when he fingers me, past my G-spot, kinda deep.. And he can feel it even when I'm not all that excited!
I think I know what you mean. When exploring down there I could feel like a short 'finger' shaped... err....thing sticking out, beyond the gspot, which i could feel all around and which moved about a bit. I believe its the cervix. I only noticed mine recently!! Links below about the cervix and its location.
HTH.
xxhttp://www.embarrassingproblems.co.uk/vagi...vulvalprobs.htm
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I have a unique situation. I am a 48 year old woman and I masturbate daily with fingers and/or toys. I've had orgasms with lovers, both men and women and of course have multiple orgasms with my toys. So what's the issue?
After a 20 year marriage that is ending I currently have a lover who is the most intense, fiery, capable, skilled, giving person I have ever been with. I'm not having your "typical" orgasms with him. The minute he touches me I feel as if my entire body is electrified and it continues during sex. I can't explain what happens, but it's as if my entire body is having an orgasm, even after our encounters are over. I do not feel empty or like I am missing anything at all. I am 5'2 and he is 6'4 (and 8 years younger than me!). We enjoy each other immensely. We play with toys, engage in bondage and I strip, do lap dances and dress up for him. This is refreshing and wonderful.
I've done some research and some women apparently get off more on the intensity than the orgasm. This has never happened to me before. Has anyone out there had a similar experience?
Hi,
You are a lucky woman!!
Im sure I know what you mean, and it has happened to me during times of extreme mental and emotional happiness (very rarely), where absoloutely nothing is wrong, and EVERYTHING is right. Sounds like thats how you are feeling right now, you are in paradise. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it!
TC
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I have heard that some women have a thicker hymen than others. Sometimes it can make the opening very small. Here is some general info about hymens, the second link is a bit, err... sarcastic, but still has some relevant info! :
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Yes, a deepthroating article would be handy...
I just dont get the whole idea of it, this stuff about the angle, the mechanics, sword swallowing, the techniques, why do it and whats so great about it, how to stop gag reflex, humming... I have tried it but I dont know if I really was deepthroating, does he even know, and I cant ask with my mouth full, anyway what is deepthroating?? Its a complete mystery. I have a real blank patch with deepthroating, like thinking about 'how big is outer space'. Not against doing it, I just can't work it out.
Suffice to say, diagrams would definately help.
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Thanks all for your replies. Bondagejunkie hit it right on the head. My gf has told me several times that she doesn't want to depend on anyone. She was married for 22 yrs and worked the whole time, but now that she is divorced and on her own, she has certainly become more independent, and I'm proud of her fot that.
Trickychick, what is a "Diamond Geezer? Is that the equivalent of what we call a "Sugar Daddy? That certainly is not me!
Many of you know the sexual side about my gf from my posts here. She is becoming better, and is very close to the point of even telling me how she likes oral sex while doing it. I know that sounds trivial, but that would be a huge step with her. She uses her vibe 2-3 times a week now solo, so that is good. A few times recently she even said she wanted to do doggie. That is something she didn't care for in the past and almost never did. And to see that ass up in the air. Heaven! It is still baby steps with the sex with her, but I'll continue to wait.
Kiss the eyes and you kiss the soul....
Take Care,
Telecom
Hi,
It means totally sound / sterling / a top guy / the best sort of man.
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I think you are a Diamond Geezer as we say over here...!
If your GF is happy with that arrangement, and you are, I cant see a problem. If she wants to go for it without your help, let her, and just be available to help if needs be.
Ive lived in a few rough areas, and its seriously no fun, so I would recommend to anybody that if they can get away, then do.
Good luck
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Allit and Trickychick, as you are both newer members, I am sure you will understand when I say to you both that there are a pluthera of posts here - and the reason there are not many "new" ones is that this board has been going a long, long time and many of the questions have been asked.
Does that mean that ALL possible questions have been asked? Of course not. However, many people come to the site, look around, never post and just read all the old posts; which does not mean that the forum is *inactive* it just means that there has been a bunch of older posts that are being read and not commented on.
This board has ups and downs when it comes to new posts. Some days there are many, some days there aren't any. I think the main purpoe of the board is to learn, read, and ask questions if you need something clarified or have a problem. This is not a dating board or some other type of community board, like some BDSM boards, where people come to chat together. Sure, people make friends here, and talk to one another. However, I think far more people read than post - and as long as they are learning, or valuing from the product reviews, that makes me happy.
I do like to see new posts, and I value new questions when asked. I also like to know what people are thinking. However, I do not think it is necessary to have a bunch of new posts for this forum to be considered successful.
Just my opinion of course.
Mikayla
I appreciate what you say, Mikayla.
I personally am not interested in post quota really, I was making a comment to allit. I am just glad to have found somewhere to get my questions answered, I have found this site, and its articles/reviews particularly, very informative; and the views of other posters very valuable and helpful.
I have spent time reading through older posts, and am slowly getting the 'feel' of this forum. Whether there are loads of new posts or not doesn't concern me, Ive got other places to chat!!!!
TC
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My man originally could come from nipple stimulation whilst having oral/sex/hand job....eventually, we discovered he could come just from playing with his nipples alone, which we do often as it always amazes us!
I guess its a kind of gradual conditioning.
Allit, I appreciate many of your posts and agree that there are not a vast quantity of new posts here, but Im sure there will be in time, especially in winter.
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When it comes to dom/sub play, we like to think what we do is normal, and what others do is abnormal. In most cases, people are a lot more alike, but just do things differently. Its important to maintain those differences, within limits, to add spice to life. However, the reason we have " Safe" words in BDSM is so the Sub is always in control and sets his or her own limits.
Yes, this is one of the things this poster couldnt understand, the idea that the sub actually does have control...this guy maintained that this was not dominance if both parties had control, and said that a discussion about limits before hand was more like role play which they said was 'not sex'. Actually, this poster said alot of contradictory things, but he was very good at english and writing, so what seemed coherent at first turned out to be rather ignorant and closed-minded. He absoloutely would not accept what I was suggesting. Also, he was also only 19! I despaired when he finally said 'we will have to agree to disagree'.
'only the dominant can get pleasure from dominance'If that were true, then why would subs want to participate?
Exactly, but he could not get this. I think he wanted dominance to be like all the things he hasnt tried, bondage, roleplay, swinging, (his words) as he said he had used blindfold and restraints and given oral during this but didnt consider it dominance just typical sex...because (as howard said 'we like to think what we do is normal, and what others do is abnormal') he had done it himself so it couldnt possibly be bondage or dominance by his definition only.
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Hi,
Im in a discussion on a UK board about dominance. Someone wanted to try being dominant and I suggested for a first go, to try very light bondage
arm restraints, blindfold and then teasing. I happened to use oral sex as part of my suggestion. Another poster has said that dominance is not {as above} its getting the other person to do whatever you say, and perform for you; and that oral sex is a 'typical' sex act and dominance is somehow not a sex act, and removed from sex, and only the dominant can get pleasure from dominance, its not a mutual thing...it went on I dont think we were talking about the same thing really....As far as Im concerned dominance can be anything from tying someone up to tease them for 10 minutes or 24/7 slave and master. He disagrees. So now its quarter to one in the morning and my brain has gone fuzzy.
Anyway what I need is a concise definition of the indefinable, to illustrate that there is no exact definition of perfect dominance to stick in his dominance shaped pigeon hole...!!
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Hi there, this question is derived from a response by Tricky,
I did chuckle when I saw the title...I didnt think you would actually ask though!
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I have 3 kids age 6, 2 and 10 mnth, and I have to say *ahem* none of them were 'planned' but I love them all theyre great, if hard work.
I worry about future finances, as my partner has a son from a previous relationship as well, and it could end up costing us a fortune so based on that alone Ive finished having babies. Also I dont want to be pregnant AGAIN, give birth AGAIN, have no sleep AGAIN, nor end up destitute. The smallest has only been sleeping through the night for a few months and its nice to have my body back (my partner agrees) and my bed and our room to ourselves!!!
I would have liked to get my tubes tied but someone said they get really heavy periods from that, so I will probably stay on the pill. I wouldnt ask/tell him to have the snip, that would be up to him, same as getting my tubes tied is up to me.
TC
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But is there really anything that can be done to make it fatter? Do those pumps I've heard about work?
I thought the effects, if any, were temporary?
A guy told me recently that when he gets a hard on in a pair of tight trousers or jeans, it tends to go a bit fatter and not so long because space is limited. He found a way to somehow hold it and replicate that during foreplay with no trousers on, so it will be a bit fatter, but the size changes throughout foreplay and sex anyway, and depending on how aroused he gets.
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If you want the perfect length, you should only be 3 inches long. Anything beyond that is doing no good. So, cut those down, guys.
Why does no one ever ask 'how deep is your vagina?'
On another board, a guy was asking about good positions to use because his dick was 10 inches long.
Ten inches!
No one really answered.
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That is about the only toy with all 3 features -however, I will caution that it is not as clitorally stimulating as some other dual actions are. I think, if you are looking for great stimulation, I might do a dual action and use a separate toy for the anal stim, OR, use the Twice Da'Vice anal / vaginal toy and a bullet. The Gypsy II is good, but you might want options.
Also, this is a side note, and a personal one, the quote on the bottom of the page, by Thomas Hood, I tend to like to give the authors credit when I quote things by other people. It is a stickler thing of mine, from teaching English. I enjoy Thomas Hood, little known poet, and that one, "Silence" is one of my favorites!
Mikayla
Thanks for this advice, will look at the other toys you mentioned.
Actually, so I dont forget, stuff from over there (US) that takes batteries- are all batteries universally the same or do you have different sorts of batteries over there? I have no idea.
^V^
I was thinking I should have credited the author and was on my 'to do' list!!lol. Its my all time favorite poem and I wanted all of it on there, but it takes up alot of room, so I settled for a portion of it with no author. Rest assured it will be done.
I said 'i dont understand that' ...he didnt elaborate. 
What's your favorite and why>
Titty Fucking.....
in Fetish & Bondage
Posted
Sadly, I never did this when I was a B cup, and 3 kids later Im a AA and although we have tried, its just not possible....slightly embarressing even...
So I suppose there is a size requirement, as stated above, which would be 'big enough globes to enclose a cock'...!!