haha well, this is kind of after the fact. my gf is not here currently. shes gone to school for the year and wont be back for a visit until december. we weren't going out for that long, only a couple of months and we had sex only a couple of times. it was also the first time for both of us. haha we did just about everything else a lot more. im thinking mostly it is due to both of us being so new to the whole thing. i guess im just trying to find a way to reduce it for future times : ] thanks for the reply and i'll definitely keep these things in mind! : ] wow thats a lot of information. lots of things to keep in mind for next time. thanks for taking the time to reply, i really appreciate it!