riv
-
Posts
29 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Gallery
Blogs
Profiles
Forums
Events
Articles
Posts posted by riv
-
-
Ok, you obviously have not read MY posts then! As a senior member of this board, with almost 1400 posts, I have often times pointed out that it is BOTH partners responsibility to pleasure each other! I have pointed out that women can be BITCHES - men CAN be ASSHOLES! I have given a thousand ways to make that better BESIDES shaving your pussy!
In fact, to one of your posts I posted this:
I am a firm believer in pleasing your partner - and this goes both ways. I am also a realist, and know that there are those RARE occassions when a partner just might not be up to it. Sickness, migraine, intense stress (not the everyday) can all be valid reasons in my book. However, I get that your wife is saying,
"No" a heck of a lot more than the norm. For that I agree with everyone else here - talk to her.
Marriages don't always last forever, and yours doesn't have to. I know, brash statement, but I have to offer truth here too. If you are this unhappy that you are contemplating cheating - just leave her - don't become an asshole and cheat - just be up front and honest and LEAVE! Bad sex or no sex (when you have tried to correct that problem) can be a very valid reason to split!
Since you came to this board it has been a hodgepodge of how unhappy you are, how bad your marriage is, how badly you want to cheat. People have offered you advice, tried to get things in perspective - but from your above post, I don't think that there is ANY advice anyone can offer you to save your marriage. If you would rather "fuck a snake" than your wife, and haven't had sex in 2 years, I would say there is nothing left to save!
YES, women can be bitches - but sometimes, just sometimes, we are reacting to you men! Yes, it is true, when a man is an ASS and doesn't try to understand our feelings, we become the BITCH! This goes both ways - and I do not know how it is in your marriage, but to say that not one, single part of this is YOUR fault is a little unfair! Marriages are not built or condemned in a vacuum - you may not THINK you are doing something, and maybe right now you aren't, but in the past she may have done something, you may have overreacted or vice versa and there is the beginning of the end!
I think a couple HAS to take responsibility together for the decline of the marriage - unless one of the partners cheat - then it is more one-sided. Men and women don't cheat because they have a happy marriage - you have discovered this - but men and women do react badly to certain stimuli from their spouses - this may not be what you think!
So, I am not saying that you are too harsh or whatever, no one but you lives in your shoes. I am, however, saying before you condemn ALL OF US WOMEN here for the anger you have at your wife, read some posts and I am sure you will find that not ALL women are self-serving, selfish, ignorant man haters - I, for one, am SURELY NOT!!!
Good luck to you,
Mikayla
I tell you what, I'm gone and I ain't comming back....sorry for stateing my feelings on your site and wasting your time. I NEVER ONE TIME CALLED ALLLLLLLLLLLL WOMEN A BITCH...NOT ONCE. AND I ALSO TOLD YOU THAT I HAD MET SOMEONE ON THIS SITE THAT HAS HELPED A WHOLE BUNCH. NOT ONLY THAT BUT HOWARD IS A VERY SMART PERSON WHO UNDERSTANDS BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. BUT FOR THE MOST PART WOMEN ARE MAN HATERS PERIOD. AND DON'T CALL ME A JACKASS...YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT ME....NOTHING
-
How is your relationship outside the bedroom? With me that is the whole problem in my marriage..... OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM. Sex is to a relationship what a pool is to a house....an addition to an already nice place to be, something to be enjoyed.... If the house is a mess, I ain't goin in the pool cause I won't enjoy it. if my relationship is a mess Sex is the last thing I want. I can't use sex to clean up the mess. I can however, enjoy sex once the mess is cleaned up it is a by-product of a clean healthy relationship. All too often I see woman to woman advice that goes like this.....Shave your pussy....stick a dildo up your ass and wiggle.... masturbate with a vib that looks like a horse in front of him and if this don't turn him on then leave the no good S O B...he don't love you. That is the advice I see. Men.... ARE....NOT.....WALKING.....DICKS. PUSSY.....IS.....NOT......ALL .....WE ......NEED. WE.....NEED.....LOVE.....AND.....SUPPORT....... OUTSIDE.........THE.........SEXUAL......INVIROMENT.....JUST.....LIKE.......YOU..
..WOMEN.....DO.....BELIEVE......IT......OR .....NOT.
And when that does not happen we shut down. AGAIN.....FUCKING.....IS....A BY-PRODUCT.....OF......A GOOD......AND.......LOVING......RELATIONSHIP.
I have had the pleasure of great relationships before so I know what they are. If a man had written your post women from all over the world would have said .....TALK TO HER.....LOVE HER MORE.....ECT. ECT. ECT.
Double standard every time... I say this look at the relationship over all....do you want it? Does he want it? If so then Try to talk it out if not then split up its that simple.
-
*breathing in deeply*....
Valntyn said it very well, and probably a helluva lot nicer than I could!!
After reading your updated post, I couldn't believe it. Since Val covered pretty much what I would've said (great minds and all...)~All I am gonna add is, IMO: he is a selfish jackass.
Oh, honey!! EVERY woman deserves to be loved and treated with RESPECT. Him pointing out what HE thinks are your flaws (bravo for being comfortable in your own skin~I wish I could be!), is not only disrespectful, but hurtful to boot.
You are not wrong in feeling the way you do. 10 years is a long time to feel Less-Than. Kids or no kids, you deserve to be treated like the Goddess you are! And, in fact, being the mother of his children, he should put forth EXTRA attention, effort, and pleasure.
OK, I am gonna stop before I ramble too much more!
Woa!!! woa! Wait a minute what goes on outside the bedroom directly affects what goes on inside. How does she treat him outside the bedroom. I am the victim of a really crappy marriage and not one damn bit if it is my fault period. And it all because of the way I.....the male..(yes we are human even though it shines through on ALMOST every womans post that we that we aren't) am treated outside the bedroom. Let me let you in on a little secret....If you are a bitch outside the bedroom then no man is going to want anything but a Piece of pussy in bed...I don't even want that from a bitch. I don't know if that is this girls problem or not but it makes me want to puke when you girls autotmatically blame the man. I haven't fucked my wife in 2 or three years cause she's a bitch outside I'd rather fuck a snake... I have ask for imput several times on this fourm from women about what your role is in a relationship and have not gotten one answer yet. NOT ONE ANSWER FORM A WOMAN ABOUT YOUR ROLE OR RESPONSIBILITY IN A RELATIONSHIP. Shaveing ya'lls poon is not the most important thing on earth. I know for a fact that i am not the only man who feel this way by a long shot... Read some of my other post(please) and you will see that somethimes we are not the bad guy. There are some women out there who, klike my so called wife need to be fucked one last time.....in court and in my case its on its way to her with no anal eze if this shit don't do a 180 today. I met a lady on this site who has really been nice to me through pm and I am going to try some of her advice, but if it doesn't work I'm outta here. I AM NOT SAYING THAT THIS IS THIS WOMANS PROBLEM...MAYBE SHE IS A GODDESS BUT JUST LETTING YOU KNOW IF A WOMAN IS A BITCH THEN EXPECT TO BE SHUT OUT.
-
I hope everything works out for you and your wife. Its always best to try anything and everything to save a marriage. Divorce should only be the last and final option.
But what you said about moms wont love their kids as much as a man, I think it totally untrue. Yes, each to their own opinion, but not every women says "Im taking the kids if we divorce" I couldn't ever do that to my husband, even if he cheated on me, or anything. Our kids mean the world to us, and even if we had to continue living together just for the kids, we would.
Sorry, I just had to comment on that.
-Sylvina
Honey, You are really, really young but thanks for your thoughts and enjoy being young. I wish you only the best life has to offer.
Kinkey Guy
-
You do get the picture. Thanks. I have ask my wife for a date this weekend and she accepted. I am still trying to put this back toghether but this is a last ditch effort. I fully understand what you said about your ex wife. I think a lot of the problem is I am taken for granted. I take no one for granted not even my non wife person with whom I live. I put 100 percent into everything I do and expect the same in return. I married very late in life because I never found any woman who ever gave back what she got from me. I played the field a long time dated and lived with several different women including strippers , church goers, tall, short, slim and not so slim, educated, and not so edcuated. The one common denomanatior is after a while they took me for granted and I kicked their ass to the curb. This time is different...there is a kid envolved and I don't care what anyone says women will never love their kids the way or as much as a man does that is the reason they always go for the throat during divorce....."I'm taking the kids" is their first tactic. If this works out....fine.... if not you'll never hear about another wife from me.
-
Obviously, this relationship did not get this way overnight, and both of you have had a hand in it. There is need for attitude adjustment on both your part, and your wife. If you are so miserable that you can't stand living in such a relationship, then end it. You will do yourself a service, and you will be doing your wife a kindness,too. You owe it to both of you.
I don't know why you got married, or when things turned sour in the relationship. Ending a marriage rather than going the extra mile to fix one is always something to be done after sober reflexion. But, unless you are glutton for punishment, You need to have a very serious talk with her. If she is not going to change, then be prepared to walk away. Life is too short to live in misery, and you will not like the person you have become if you continue to live with someone you despise. To thy own self be true. If you are at the breaking point, then walk away. Divorce is hard to do, but sometimes it is the best thing couples can do for themselves, and the family around them.
Best of wishes to you.
Howard
I have lot s of respect for You and your comments but we did not both have a hand in this marriage going south she did this all by herself I have carried far more than my end of the pole for far too long.. Not long ago we had a discussion and decided to make a list of what we thought we contributed to each other and the relationship. Her list was.....no shit....she makes my coffee in the morning and sometimes does my laundry. THE END. My list included everything else that has to do with running a household and now I make my own damn coffee. Now, I did not ask the question to have my marriage analyzed but to get an answer to the question I asked which was not meant to offend anyone....you once again came the closest so far to an answer that makes scents and I resepect that and I thank you.
I can't speak for all women or for your wife, but personally my "not tonite, im not in the mood" was due to my birth control.Sometimes certain medications will just zap your libido into nothingness.
My ex used to try everything under the sun, he would leave me notes or touch me, or kiss me, and try to get me sexually excited, and it just was not going to happen.
As far as the getting it somewhere else comment,
this is usually brought on when there is a low self esteem issue.
A women no longer feels desired, because she realizes the consequences f her actions, when she tries to correct this behavior, and it is not met with a positive attitude, the first thing we do is lay blame on ourselves.
"I am too fat, my boobs sag, I have stretch marks, I am getting old and starting to look like a prune..."
Basic stuff like that.
Then it turns into paranoia, " oh, maybe hes found someone skinnier, prettier, with better boobs, better skin..."
There are a multitude of things that I could second guess at, but, I won't.
I will however suggest you two have a nice long talk, in a neutral area, and try not to be too judgmental on her, and she has to do the same for you.
Best of luck
You understood the question....thank you for your answer it makes scents.
-
Ok I just want to say that we do not have a problem with the "not tonight" deal, however I do know what you are talking about and if you love and respect this woman like you say you do then talk to her about it. You say you want help in this matter but you are setting your own dubble standerd by saying that you will not go to marriage councling! I understand that you feel that she is negecting you by shutting you out, but this is a problem the two of you have and it can only be solved by both of you. marriage is hard work and it sounds like you have thrown in the towle. I dont really know what to say except if you are going to wait untill your wife "fixes" the problem...you will be waiting a hell of a long time.
I've done my part for 17 years If it gets fixed she'll fix it ...not me. But my personal relationship was not the original question. I do however, thank you for your comments..You certianly have every right to your opinion. Waiting a hell of a long time is out of the question.
-
Well... I'm gonna first hope that your post wasn't a blanket statement about women in general, but maybe in regards to something that happened either in your personal life or someone else's that you know.
My husband and I are very often not on a same 'sexual schedule.' Sometimes it gets frustrating, of course, if I'm horney to beat the band and he's not, but I 'suffer through it,' either getting myself off, or just waiting until he's in the mood -- it kinda makes it that much of a better release when that happens.
Knowing that I, too, say, 'not tonight, honey,' makes me remember that when he does it, it isn't cuz he's had his fill elsewhere, it's cuz he's just not in the mood! No biggie, at least in our house.Like I said, it's not just me and its not just in our house.I talk to other men and it happens all the time. There's no denying it. It has nothing to do with you but is meant in general terms. Obviously Howard knows what I'm talking about.
There is no way to explain it. Its the old Double Standard, and women your age were raised to believe that is okay behavior. Its not.If you are only dating a woman, then you should not expect sex to be a whenever you wish it proposition. . If you are married, you both are suppose to have made a commitment to pleasure the other. You may not be in the mood. I find that question comes up when neither partner seems to remember what FOREPLAY is, or what flirting does! The way you both get in the mood for sex is by flirting with each other, making outrageous propositions all day long, Giving each other a time to nap and relax after a hard day, and, sometimes, understanding that he or she is just not going to be up to it because of reasons of health, no matter how much he or she would like to have sex.
Xaviar Hollander became one of my favorite people in the world when she wrote a letter in her Penthouse Magazine column taking on a woman who demanded to know why she should be expected to give her husband sex when she didn't want to do so! Xaviar took her to task, suggesting that if she is committed to him, she can at least give him a handjob, or a blow job, or even anal sex when she is having her period, or otherwise is just not in the mood to become aroused herself. The same for him. He can use his mouth, hands, and toys to get her off even if he is not in the mood for sexual intercourse. If a woman truly loves her husband, then she takes care of him. And vice versa.
I am sure you wish your wife would take such advice to heart. I think both men and women need to take it to heart. Stop being selfish about sex, and do you job. Take care of your partner's pleasure, or surely he/she will find someone else, someday, to do it for you. Telling your partner to go masturbate is just as selfish as simply telling him to go away. Partners love each other, and men like to have their women lovers pay attention to their needs, imagined or real. That does not mean he is going to die if he doesn't have an orgasm or three on any given night, but it does mean that his love for you is going to be less, he is going to feel shut out, and not loved, and he will resent you, just as this man is resenting his wife's attitude. That cannot be good for any relationship.
Finally, People who talk like this- " i am not in the mood " - are treating sex as WORK.
Adult Sex is Adult Play time! It is always suppose to be fun.
I can think of a lot of things I can't get into the mood to do, but having fun is rarely on that list!!! Particularly having fun with the woman I love, admire, respect, and feel honored that she sees anything in me. That she will put her hands in my pants, or pull down my zipper in the most unlikely places, and play with " her toys", and enjoys being able to lust after my body is the sweetest icing on my cake.
I hope this couple gets into marriage counseling, before they both do permanent damage to this marriage.
Howard
The dammage is already done and is irrreversible. I absoutly refuse to go to counseling because I have done my part and am at my ropes end. If there are any changes to be made she will make them....I won't.
-
I have to ask this question.I have asked many times before in different settings but never really got an answer.. So, WhY is it that if a woman says "not tonight , I 'm not in the mood" are we supposed to lay our pecker on the toilet seat and slam the lid, take a cold shower or just jerk off and forget it. But, If men are not in the mood, they are fucking someone else no doubt about it. It happens all the time. I talk to lots of men and we all encounter this from time to time. Not only that but women don't stop ya'll keep on and on and on and on grabbing, feeling ect. and often start an argument if we don't perform or puff up but we are supposed to like it if ya'll say no. Whats the deal with that? Huh? Huh? Maybe our pecker hurts or something, maybe it's not anything to do with ya'll could be that we caught our pecker in our zipper at work but not according to ya'll....we are fucking another woman.....explain that.
-
my current gf is my 6 partner and she is the 1st that ejaculates during orgasm, it makes me go crazy feeling her pussy orgasm and the feel of her cum pushing past my cock, was just wondering what other guys thought on this
My ex used to be the same way and it was great. I assume you are refering to squirting.
There are lots of questions posted on this fourm about women squriting. For me. as a man I think it is the best part of sex except for my own orgasm of corse. My ex used to sit on my face and I ate her pussy until she would squirt what seemed like gallons. It is a clear liquid and taste kind of sweet or at least hers did . At first I thought she was peeing on me but didn't take long to figure out that it was cum.. after I came in her I would keep playing with her G spot and clit just to watch her squrit. The sheets had to be changed every time. The feeling of her cum on my balls while I was in her pussy was great too. YES.
-
I am willing to do a lot of things but this is not for me. I love eating pussy but not after I cum.
-
Hi I'm New,
I'm married to a wonderful man but unfortunately he has some hang-ups that hurt and sometimes annoy me. I am madly in love with this man but I have needs as well as he has. I need long passionate kisses and hugs and he can't breathe or he doesn't enjoy the act of long anything. I have found there are plenty of toys for a man to substiute a woman with and plenty of dildo type toys for vaginal stimulation but what about women's needs as far as affection and passion. I need a doll who can french kiss for a long time who can touch me and feel me all over. I need a doll who will use it's tongue on me and it's mouth??? Can anyone explain to me why there is absense of such toys??? How does an over sensual; sexual and passionate person like me find satisfaction?? Help Please!!!!!!
Thank you,
Tonia S
If there are toys out there for men that can do all that ....SIGN ME UP!!!!!!!!
-
My husband had an ongoing workplace affair until she was fired a few years ago. She (they) were even brazen enough to have sex at his and my home (outside, by the fireplace as well as in our woods) while our young son sat inside awaiting my return home from work. They both got out at 2:30, me at 6:30.
It took me a few months/years (??) to figure it out. I can't express how much this hurt, because I used to "defend" her at company functions, where she was called "fat...her name". He even called her that in front of me. Then one day she appeared at our house, needing "help" with her son who was "in trouble". Looking back I think it was pre-planned by them, not expecting me to be home. Then she started coming over "if it was alright with (me)". Initially I thought he was trying to be her friend only, until months later I could tell my son was very uneasy when I came home and she was there, not saying why. He and she were out at the fire, easily seen from the window even though it was dark out, laughing and quite drunk. I went out and before I even had the chance to get my first thoughts processing, she repeatedly rubbed her ass on him as she walked by him. I then IMMEDIATLY knew I had been fooled all along, and told her to leave immediatly. She has been "STALKING" he and me ever since that day, in spite of the fact she is married (3rd time), I doubt her husband has a clue. To make matters worse, her "best friend" is the personnel manager where he works, so she is constantly updated about him. Currently she is attempting to get him to look at her IM profile, which includes her MySpace address. He can't quit his job because we are very close to being broke and he has no college education and is in his lat 40's.
It hurts when he gets (too) drunk and fingers/writes her name on me during sex, which he keeps saying "I'm writing dirty words" as if I can't tell what the letters are. There is NEVER any warning. He just DOESN'T GET IT. I know he loves me but I just can't understand why the drinking brings her to our bed over and over. Why doesn't he understand that this "fantasy" is NOT THE SAME AS A FANTASY ABOUT SOMEONE HE'S NEVER MET? If it weren't for loving him so much, as well as I would NEVER hurt my son that way, sometimes I have a "fantasy" about blowing out my brains, usually the next morning after everyone is gone and I'm all alone and I can see that damn fireplace. I hate my life, but not enough to leave him, because I know in his strange/selfish life, he DOES love me. Why did he do this to me?
Suicide should never be an option....you' re a human being and no one should ever be treated the way I'm understanding your post. I had some pretty serious issues a couple of years back that made me consider suicide too but there is help out there. I have no Idea where you are but there must be a crisis line and those people most likely saved my life. They listen , so if it's really to that point call them for your sake and your sons. NO one is worth taking your life....no one.
Good Luck
-
WHOA! You did not read Mikayla's comment closely enough. She did not say it was okay to use cinnamon flavored OIL on your girlfriend! She talks about using cinnamon-flavored Gels! These are specifically made for the purpose of enhancing oral sex. The oils are for massaging, only.
Please don't confuse the two. Go to the Shopping guide and check out the gels. Check the Toy Reviews to see if there is a review of the product that is of interest to you. Read the Review. It will tell you what the product is for, and most often what its not for. Most massage oils are just that- for massaging, with some kind of scent to make them smell better. They don't taste good, and they can often burn delicate skin SO KEEP THEM AWAY FROM YOUR COCK AND HER PUSSY!
If you are looking for something to use during oral sex, other than you tongue, then check out the flavored gels made specifically for that purpose.
Howard
The oil (or maybe it is considered gel) was sweet and had a lot of flavor. Whatever it was didn't work on her pussy. Other flavors of the same stuff didn't bother her.
-
Kinkyguy:
I can only hope that your wife comes to understand where you are. I would just keep trying and just be a little more aggressive in getting to see your needs. I was one of those wives for a while. It had a lot to do with how I felt I was being treated. Why would I want to sleep with someone I wasn't happy with at that moment? There were other issues, including the fact that I had never had an orgasm either. What was the point of sex for me if I wasn't enjoying it? It was a chore for me. Make sure he comes and be done. We went through some really rocky times. We've come out on the other side, but it took a lot of work and A LOT of time. I know I've written it before, but print some of these discussions on the forums and just give them to her. Let her see what we all see. It may or may not help, but at least you can say you're doing everything in your power.
As far as the fake pussy, I understand your position. For you or your wife, it might be okay. It's just not for me. I have no problem with the idea of the masturbator sleeves or similar things. There are quite a few items that don't look like another women's vagina. I just can't help but feel that the FP or dolls are too close to the real deal.
Good luck.
Please check your pm box.
-
Let me give you $1.00 worth of advice here:
To say to us here on the board, "Maybe I'm a little different than most guys but ladies...please don't give blowjobs with any cinnamon flavored tabs or spray. Unless you have a guy who doesn't mind that someone just lit a blowtorch and went down on him, that stuff really burns." is kind of a discouraging statement for any women or men who have not tried some of the techniques talked about here which involve cinnamon gels or tastes.
I personally am a big advocate of cinnamon flavored gels - I just reviewed one actually - and it in NO WAY burnt or hurt my hubby! I also use cinnamon flavored altoids and such and he loves it. I do not think that he is "out of the ordinary" as I have done this to many a male and female partner!
So, I think in general to post something that generalizes like that is not a good idea, even though you do qualify it by saying "maybe you are different" but I think a better way to approach this would have been in question form: "Who likes cinnamon flavored sex enhancers" and then you give your experience.
Many people read this site, and not everyone posts - so I always like to give options to people so they don't feel like our advice is the end-all, be-all - and by you saying "please don't" might deter someone from trying something that would be wonderful for her man!
Ok, with my going rate that was about $3.00, but oh well!
Mikayla
I tried cinnamon on an ex girlfriend once and it set her pussy on fire....we spent the rest of the night trieing to wash it out. It was our first experince with flavored oil and we just jumped right in no questions asked by either. I like having it used on me but with that first experince I used something different with my wife when we used to fuck and suck. I'm gonna use it with a fake pussy.
-
Both partners have an obligation, which they make a committment to doing, to pleasure their partner. She is concerned about your pleasure, and you about hers. No one is left out.
I don't care what Oprah Winfrey says or doesn't say. Men are not simple creatures devoid of feelings, or desires. They do need partners who talk to them listen to them, and insist that men teach them how to pleasure them, without judgement. Each partner has two roles. He has to be a willing student to her needs, and expect this to be an ongoing series of lessons, and instructions. She must do the same to him. People's interests in sex change as they gain experience, confidence, and overcome personal embarrassment about themselves. Both need to introduce new things to the relationship, just to show their lover how much he is desired and needed. Everybody's ego need a boost, and who better than their partner? We do that with flattery, touching, kissing, playful grabs, in private and in public, with caresses, and gropes in elevators and other semi-private places, where the thrill is mostly based not in finding something for the first time as when we are adolscents, but in the possibility of being caught. As couples mature, they know all kinds of things that only they share, so that a look or a nod, or a touch of the hand is all that is needed to communicate what one is think to one's partner. And, there are times when a couple can't help but break out giggling, because of something that happens where they can't possibly tell anyone what is so funny! That is when the couple becomes comfortable with being with each other, relax, and know that they are okay, and the sex is going to be great again, whenever they can find some place to do it, as soon as possible. After all, they have a license that says they can do it any time, any place, and as often as they want to do so. Other than laws against public indecency, whatever that is these days, there are few restrictions on married couples to keep them from enjoying each other whenever they desire. All they have to do is play with each other, and see where it goes from there.
Howard
Thank you Howard, you hit the nail on the head.
-
I did say it was a double standard. I recognize that. There are just some places I can't go. The husband has never once asked for something else and probably never will. Knowing that probably makes it easier to say that I couldn't go there. If the time came that he wanted one, I would certainly discuss it with him.
The toys that I have purchased do not look or feel like the real thing. To me, a toy should be a toy, not a substitute.
I don't understand why everyone gets so bent out of shape because someone might not be comfortable with everything sexually. Everyone is different. That's what makes the world go round. It's okay not to be in the same place as everyone else.
You didn't offend me at all. There are things I have read here that wouldn't be for me either and you are right, we are all different I really don't think anyone got bent out of shape, they just have a different opinion and thats ok. The reason I asked the question is that my wife don't get into fucking like she used to and I haven't slowed down a bit as far as libdo goes. My own hand jobs get old and again you may be right, maybe it would be a substitute. I haven't cheated on her even though lots of people who know the scoop have incouraged me to. I have talked till I'm blue in the face and until she makes some changes I need something different. Hell, I'd buy a blowup doll if I could hide it at this point. Sex is a very important part of marriage and if one partner wants to keep the other (either way) then they need to be willing to keep each other satisfied. I'm not talking about fucking another woman here but I am wanting to do something besides baby oil and my hand. I am a loving husband and I don't deserve to be treated this way sexualy by her. She don't put out most of the time and I'm tired of it and if you girls can cheat with a dildo then whats good for the goose is good for the gander. I'm not trying to argue with you or offend you. You have every right to feel the way you do and just for the record if my wife would just meet me 1/4 of the way i wouldn't feel the way I do. I have all kinds of advice on this fourm about what I NEED TO DO FOR HER BUT WHAT DOES SHE NEED TO DO FOR ME. Don't misunderstand, I welcome any and all suggestions but remeber this...MEN DO HAVE FEELINGS AND NEEDS NO MATTER WHAT OPRAH SAYS. Thanks for your reply and keep it up...I can learn from you I'm sure.
-
Does anyone know if the fake pussies are any good? I've been thinking about trying one.
-
Well I would like to thank everyone for everything. When I first came here I was having problems in my sex life in fact I think I called it boring.
that is was but sure isn't anymore. I must say I also had a great time writing reviews and testing products, but I have come to the conclusion that I have decided that it seems like no matter what I write or say or the opinion I give it just isn't good enough, or the products I test and find amazing are also knocked down by mostly one person alot. I don't mind being critizied but when it is everytime I think I will pass. I will still continue to shop here from time to time, but for now I think it is best I leave. Take Care.Good Luck to you all and I will check back from time to time just to see what all is being talked about. Take Care.
I just got here and don't have any idea what anyone said to you but I am so sorry to hear that you lost a child...my heart goes out to you. I read a couple of your post and don't see anything wrong. It seems to me that your opinion is just as valid as everyone else. I don't know you but I wish you the best and hope you will come back..... I need all the advice I can get when it comes to sex and relationships. You are important.
Good luck.
-
Don't go elsewhere!!! You'll cause irreparable damage to your relationship. Once you go down that path, it is likely that your marriage will end.
As far as getting her to be more adventurous, it will be difficult but not impossible. Many years ago, my husband bought a plain jane vibrator for me. It did nothing for me. After that, he never tried buying another toy. Every now and then he would ask me what I like. I couldn't answer him because I didn't know. Sex became a chore for me because I wasn't getting satisfied. If you ask him, he'll say that he tried to have conversations; he tried toys, etc. etc. Not really. Men and women communicate very differently. I really wish my husband would have just went nuts at a toy store and "made" me try them. It would have saved me 16 years of dissatisfaction.
What about setting up a date, and then having an assortment when y'all get home? I little alcohol, mood music, flowers, the works all laid out for her. Women are very insecure creatures and we need to be reassured about ourselves.
There's always the non-direct approach about printing the forum and leaving it for her with a note for her to please read it. Let her know that it would make you happy for her just read it and think about it. As my husband always says: He's not a mind reader. Let her know what is going on in your mind.
Keep us posted.
I Would like to take a minute to tell everyone who has replied to me thanks. This site is really great and provides insight not avalible anywhere else that I know of. I haven't strayed yet but I have been over a year more than one time during my marraige with nothing. I understand what you say about communicateing but if there is something that I have or have not done or need to do more or less of then I want her to be out spoken.....we all know I am. She can tell me if I have failed her in bed and I'll fix it. I also know that what goes on outside the bedroom affects what goes on inside. AS your hubby says i can't read her mind but as Howard said, I think the antidepressants play a big role too. My problem is that I too am human and I need her to try to understand my need as I try to understand hers. With that being said, I take everything everyone here says with gradtitude but I am going to drop the subject and stop bitching.
Thanks Again for letting me vent.
-
In everything, communication is key. If you just joke around and say "lemme spank ya" and she says no, then she may not be taking you seriously.
I noticed you are 55 yrs old. Is she about the same age? Was she brought up strict and/or sheltered? She may have never had a more adventurous guy? She may think of being spanked as abusive or demeaning.
My mother is 62, and I know if I tell her about somethings she may not understand or believe in, I get the look of absolute "why the hell would ANYONE want to do that???" I don't talk to my mother about sexual stuff. That's just a part of my life, and hers, that is none of each other's business. Anyway!!
Now, if she's not even willing to try anything new, just do the Deed because she has to, then she is being selfish. Not only to you, but to herself as well.
Making love with your SO should be FUN! Not a chore. It should be understanding, wild, crazy, loving, adventurous, familar, different, and safe. Maybe not all at the same time, except the safe part.
Now, if, for some reason, you are able to get her to try it, and she doesn't like it, then you must respect that. Everyone has different things they like. She's your wife, and so you should be willing tyo try new things for you (and possibly her pleasure) and respectful of her wishes, and as her husband, she should want to try and please you and respectful to her as well.
Good luck.
She is only 41 years old. I am a very young 55 and still have lots of life left in me. She , as I said is 41 and older than I am. You are right , Sex should be fun and safe but over the years it has become more of a chore to the point that I don't even try much any more. I do try to talk to her every now and then and it seems to me that her fire just isn't there, in other words there seems to be a tremendous lack of desire most of the time and if we do do anything there's not much passion there on her part. Ever try to fuck someone who wasn't there? She takes meds for depression and I know that is part of it but I have come to a point that I need much more that I'm getting and I really don't know how to get blood out of a turnip so to speak. I do still love her if I didn't I'd be gone and she says she loves me but I'm really not sure anymore. It's not just spanking... if she can't handle that, then ok I resepct that but I need loving, I need to be hugged, I need to be told I'm loved, I need to be touched and I need sex. There is still fire in my furnace. I have always been told that I'm above average in the lover dept, even by her years ago. I feel I'm a loving husband and carry more than my load so I don't understand the problem with fucking like minks, spanking ass fingering ass, sucking my dick , I'm all for a healthy sex life. I'll do about anything she ask, ....all she has to do is ask as long as it's not filthy. I just want a healthy sex life with my wife and the truth is it's just not there. I'm about ready to look elsewhere which I've never wanted to do but I don't know how to turn this around.
-
Many of you have seen some of my posts about the relationship with my gf and dealing with her depression. Outside of sex and the sexual side effects of the Prozac she is on, its to the point now where I really can't deal with it much longer. Am I a bad person for saying that and feeling like that? I'm mentally an upbeat person and physically active person, and her ups and downs are opposite of me. Some days she is so sad that I can't take it. I've been patient with her for over a year and a half, and do a lot of research to understand the illness, and to be compassionate and understanding. I love her dearly and treat her very well, and she says she loves me to no end, but its like a yo-yo. I don't want to leave her (I know her depression will become worse), but I'm seeing that the long term effects of her depression on our relationship are not positive at all. Her self-esteem continues to be low and wonders why am I with her. Its getting old.
Ourside of sex, how are some of you dealing with your partner who is suffering from depression? Have you left someone in the past you really cared for, but couldn't deal with it any longer?
Telecom
I have been dealing with a depressed wife for 17 years. Her problems have all but destroyed our marriage and sex is almost a thing of the past. I have been supportave in every way i can think of and it doesn't change anything for the better. I know how you feel....I wear the shoe. But I am married and have a handicapped child who I won't leave and from what i understand you are dealing with a girlfreind. Knowing what i know now If I were in a dateing relationship with that problem I'd get out....sorry...but I've been in far too long and indured too much pain and I really don't believe it gets better for most people. If I were going to give you advice speaking from experince I say don't wait till you get her preg. because then it's another story. I'm not trying to be mean but I've been doing all the loving far too long and I know how it feels....it sucks for me and I'm about on my last too. Just my thoughts.....good luck
-
YOU KNOW MY STORY IS THE OPPISITE TO YOURS. ME & MY HUBBY WERE HAVE THE BEST ORAL SEX THAT WE HAD IN A WHILE, I MEAN ENDLESS 69 
THEN I GOT TO THINKING HE MIGHT WANT ME TO SHAVE, I NEVER HAD BEFORE, & WONDERD IF IT WOULD MAKE OUR ORAL EVEN BETTER. YOU KNOW ANYTHING TO MAKE A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE BETTER! RIGHT? 
I ASK HIM SHOULD I SHAVE & HES LIKE YEAH. SO THAT NIGHT I SHAVE. IT WAS SOO UNCOMFORTABLE. THEN MY HUSBAND TELLS ME HE DOES'NT WANT ME TO SHAVE AGAIN. BOY WAS I HAPPY, CAUSE I'VE BEEN SOOOOOOOOOOOO ITHCY & WOULD HATE 2 HAVE 2 GET USED TO IT. WELL THATS MY DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT STORY. I'M GLAD YOU GAINED FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE.
I think a hairy pussy is really sexy . I dunno, the hair just adds something to the experience for me and I know for me when my wife strokes my pubic hair while she gives me a blow job it adds to the experience. I like to stroke her hair too when I play with her clit and she really loves it. But I have had bald women too and that is also very sexy.
YOU KNOW MY STORY IS THE OPPISITE TO YOURS. ME & MY HUBBY WERE HAVE THE BEST ORAL SEX THAT WE HAD IN A WHILE, I MEAN ENDLESS 69 
THEN I GOT TO THINKING HE MIGHT WANT ME TO SHAVE, I NEVER HAD BEFORE, & WONDERD IF IT WOULD MAKE OUR ORAL EVEN BETTER. YOU KNOW ANYTHING TO MAKE A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE BETTER! RIGHT? 
I ASK HIM SHOULD I SHAVE & HES LIKE YEAH. SO THAT NIGHT I SHAVE. IT WAS SOO UNCOMFORTABLE. THEN MY HUSBAND TELLS ME HE DOES'NT WANT ME TO SHAVE AGAIN.
Is There Somthing Wrong With Me Or Has He Lost Intrest
in Ask A "Sexpert"
Posted
LIKE I SAID, I'M GONE BUT IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS WORTH A SHIT OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM THEN YOU DON'T NEED ADVICE OR AT LEAST I NEVER HAVE... AGAIN SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU PEOPLE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU ARE A CLICK.