cj0834

You have painted a perfect picture. It definetly is a life issue. I have researched online and found a great site awhile back called AS partners. Everyone on there has either left the relationship or are preparing to or would like to. It's taken me awhile to get to this point. I just found out this past year about the Aspergers. He had not been diagnoised. For the last 10 years I have been holding out hope to find the answer to fix things. Now that I know there is no hope (or at least very little). The things I have tolerated for so long have become intolerable. I knew the answer to my questions that I posted I guess. I just need to keep hearing it. To bring myself to the point of change.

No appologies needed. I really need to face facts. I have been lying to myself for too long.

I appreciate you taking the time to find out more about asperger's. I have checked out several websites, but had not run across the one you refered to. Everything I read there SO describes my life. I am on the verge of making a decision about this relationship. Right now I am a stay at home mom, which I really enjoy. But the price I have to pay to continue this lifestyle is begining to be to much.

Howard, he would never do any of the things you mentioned. When he's done he's done and he wouldn't even be interested the next day much less the same day. Sex is work to him. It must be because ususally when I try to initiate it he says he is tired or needs to relax. He would never "tease" me as you say. He will slow down if I yell at him to stop for a minute and just quit moving, but next time its just the same. I suppose I should tell you that he has a form of high functioning autism called Aspergers. I'm sure this is a huge contributing factor. He really only likes doggy style. I prefer missionary just because I like to feel his weight and feel dominated, but I've kind of given up on it becasue he always complains that his arms are getting tired then he will pretty much just lay on me and let his chin dig into my collarbone. Not very condusive to orgasm. He looks at me if I ask him to, but only for a moment. Most autistic people have problems with eye contact. He only seems to have trouble with it during sex. I've been with him for 10 years and we have two daughters, but I don't know if I can resign myself to this lack of intimacy much longer.

I have a question or I guess several really. I've only ever been with one person and I don't think my sexual experiences are typical. 1. There is some foreplay, sometimes I will have an orgasam just from his hand. I get very wet, but it seems like he still has a lot of trouble getting in. 2. I've never had an orgasam with him inside me. Do most men enter a women slowly taking several minutes or is it just a matter of seconds with some pain at first? That is my experience. 3. How long does the thrusting etc. go on? The longest a lovemaking session has ever been for me is maybe 30 minutes. Usually less. I know its' not always the same, but what would you say is typical? 4. I know women can have more than one orgasam. Can men? Does it depend on their age? Although it has never happened for me. I could see how maybe a women could have one orgasam during foreplay and one during intercourse. Is it possible to have more than one when he is in me. I think it would be hard since the actual act only lasts a few minutes. That's all I can think of for now. I am sure I will think of more. I just am really begining to wonder if this is how it is for the majority of women. I read erotic stories and they are nothing like what I experience. Do they just make it all up or can it really be like that? Please let me know.

mikayla. I guess I should have titled this I know he doesn't enjoy my body. I don't think he really enjoys sex. He likes to have an orgasam, but is totally uninterested in my pleasure. He only gets me off with his hand if I ask otherwise he is happy to forget it. I don't particularly enjoy giving him oral, but I do hoping it will be reciprocated. It is not. I think he has done it twice in 10 years and it is quite obvious he doesn't enjoy it. I have always felt like this even before we had kids. He often points out during sex the areas where he feels I need to "reduce". It is his problem not mine. I often come to bed nude and reach for his cock and he grabs my hand and pushes me away. He likes doggy style which is really not my favorite and when I reach to rub my clit he stops me. I asked him the other day if he would like to watch me masturbate and he looked at me like I was crazy. It does nothing for him to watch when I have an orgasam. I have started exagerating it a little just to see if I get a response, but I don't. I ask him if what I am doing feels good. He just says yeah and thats it. I ask him to tell me how it feels to be inside me. He doesn't know what to say. I want someone to look into my eyes while they enter me. Tell me how sexy and hot I am. I know I could have multiple orgasms with the right person, but I'm lucky if I get one. Usually I just do it myself because at least I am more interested in it than he is. I've tried talking dirty. I don't know what else to try.

I am new here, but have been reading posts for quite some time. My problems with my sex life are many, but the biggest issue that I could really use help with is this. During sex I really get the feeling that my husband does not enjoy my body. He doesn't enjoy touching it or looking at it or anything. He does it because it is required for success in the "act" at least that is how I feel. He will touch me until I am aroused then he stops lays back and asks me to stimulate him. Those are his exact words. He often has trouble getting an errection or keeping one very long. We have the best experiences when I surprise him. Everything is just so awkward. He has had two or three partners before me and I was a virgin when I met him. With my first boyfriend he did nearly everything except entering me. I was very afraid of the pain I thought I might experience. I did not even let him put his fingers inside me. He gave me the best oral sex I could ask for. The "how to" section here on that subject described my experience perfectly. I have only had sex twice in 11 years that hasn't hurt at some point. I get very wet. I think it is the way he enters me. I think he does it too fast, but I don't have anything to compare it to. Well, this is getting way too long. I could go on and on. I just want to feel like he enjoys pleasing me. I moan and tell him how great it feels to have him inside me. But he never says anything. He pulls out right away and goes into the bathroom. If I am still in the mood when he gets back he will give me an orgasam with his hand. Usually it is just to long to wait. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks