navn

I met my BF almost 3 years ago when I moved to his city for my postgraduate training. He was sweet, kind and fun to be with, we always had a good time when we were together, and sex was great. However, he told me that he had problems with commitment and wasn't really looking for a girlfriend, but that he liked to be with me. After a while I had more feelings for him, and he knew that, but he said didn't want to promise anything that he might not be able to keep. I know that he wasn't seing anyone else, so that was not the problem. Every ~6 months he'd feel that things were getting too intense and tell me he wanted to stop seing me for a while - it usually lasted about 2 weeks, and then he'd change his mind again and I'd take him back (after crying for 2 weeks). After a year and a half of this I couldn't take anymore. I also had to make a decision whether to stay in the US or not (it is not my home country), so I asked him what he wanted. He said it was up to me, he was happy with things the way they were, and said he'd be glad if I chose to stay but that he didn't want me to stay for his sake, because he couldn't promise that things would change to a more serious relationship. I gave up and moved back to Europe, but we stayed friends and kept in touch. We've both been seing other people, but nothing serous has come out of that and I'm still in love with him. Then, in August he had the chance to visit me - we were both so excited to see each other again and spent a great week together. Of course we were right back to where we were before I left. He even told me that he loved me; he never said that before. After he left we've been talking a lot more, and he asked me to come back and live with him. We talked it over many times and eventually I said yes. I was so happy, I still am. I took one week of vacation and went to see him and we had a great time together again. So everything should be great; I love him and he loves me too. But at the same time I'm so scared that he'll change his mind again. He tells me that he loves me, but it's hard to forget all the times before when he told me that he wasn't ready for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, that he hadn't found the right woman yet, and that he wasn't sure if there was a future together for us. How can I deal with this without making my worries a self-fulfilling prophecy? And lately he's been asking me if I'm sure that this is the right thing we're doing, and if I'm having doubts, and he says that he's scared that in a year or two it might not work out anyways. He's also concerned that we'll be going from having seen each other for a total of two weeks this year to living together. He says that he loves me now, but he can't promise what things will be like in the future. I asked him if he's having second thoughts and changed his mind, but he says no... I know that noone knows what the future holds but he's giving fuel to my fear when he talks like this. Am I making a mistake by moving back? I love him, and I think he loves me too, but can a commitment phobic guy really change? The last 'final' break was really hard and I don't want to go through the same thing again!

I'm new to this forum and I apologise if this has been discussed before, but I haven't read all the posts yet. This might be a silly question, but I'd really like to know: What is the right way to do those Kegel exercises? I always try to do them but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I know I'm using the right muscles, but are you supposed to contract and hold, or just repeat the contractions? Or is it better to use weights, such as ben-wa-balls? I recently got some, but even though they're supposed to be weighted they don't seem very heavy and it doesn't take a lot of effort to keep them in place. (I tried jumping up and down without panties on and nothing happened And how often should you do your Kegels? Thanks for a great forum!