Sigma2004

When I was 17 I was raped. I had my virginity taken from me by a man 9 years my senior. After my attack, it took about 4 years for me to even begin to want to have sex. All and all I would say I had 20 times since then. It was a big decision for me to have sex. I love my boyfriend and am completely ok with taking our relationship to the next level but I worry that there still may be lingering effects from my past, because sex hurts. After my attack, I had a complete check up and everything was fine. I know I don’t have anything because I have been to the doctor. I have tried lubrication and it still hurts. My friends tell me sex is supposed to hurt the first few times, but we have been going at it for a while and it still hurts. I guess I should point out that we don’t do it often because we are in a long term relationship. Then they also point out the size difference. I am only 5ft and he is well over 6ft and is very big. Is it possible for him to be too big and me to be too small? Or does my pain during sex have something to do with what happened to me in the past, like a lingering effect. It feels like he is hitting my stomach from the inside or he is rearranging my insides. There are certain positions that we can’t even try because it hurts. Will sex always be like this for me? Any advise you can offer would be greatly appreciated