monetgracehoo

thank you for all of your responses. it's good to know there are people who understand and have positive reinforcement on how to fix my dillema.

I have been dating this fabulous guy for a while now who I love more than anything. But he really wants me to go down on him and I would like to but I just can't seem to get myself down there. It's like I have a leash holding me back. When we first started dating I said I wouldn't do it at all b/c I didn't like it. I have done it twice on other guys, neither of which were good experiences for me. I felt very degraded and inferior. I told him I would probably do it eventually it would just take me some time, and that was fine for a while, but now he brings it up quite regularly. I don't like that he brings it up and jokes about it b/c it makes me feel bad that I don't/won't/can't do it. I have gotten to the point now where I think about it doing it and consider doing it but I just don't know when I'll get the point where I will actually peform it. Any words or wisdom would be helpful. I just don't know want to do and I feel bad b/c I can't do it.

Obviously I am new to this whole thing, otherwise I wouldn't be posting here. My best friend in all her infinite wisdom decided I had to have a vibrator since I didn't have a boyfriend and proceeded to buy me one for my birthday. It is a slimline vibe with an attached bullet. It works quite well, now that I have figured out how to "work" it. The only thing is the vibe is only 1 1/8 in girth and I like insertion and truthfully don't get much from it in that way. Thus i was wondering what size girth would be good to go with without going overboard. I was also looking into something different, a g-spot or dual action vibe or dildo. There are so many options and materials and I have read all the articles and still feel very lost. Plus I am on a serious budget and would prefer not to spend over 25 - 30$ if possible. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks, monetsgrace