tlaurits

Mikayla, Thank you so much for your response. I do feel funny initiating sex, and I definitely replace sex with other things in my life. I really do want to get over that awkward feeling and just enjoy sex as it is meant to be enjoyed. Yes, I am on bc (seasonale) and have wondered if it might be contributing to my lackluster sex drive. Thanks again!

My SO adores anal, he always wants to do it. I on the other hand have tried it a couple of times and don't really like it. I don't know what it is about it, it seems dirty to me and it hurts. I do participate in this act because he loves it so much, and he keeps telling me that it is supposed to be enjoyable. He never makes me do it, or attempts to do it without my consent, but this is something that he enjoys so I want to do it to please him. I'm not sure though, I mean he obviously likes it because it's tight and sort of taboo, but I'm sort of afraid that it means that if we do it all the time, he won't want to do it any other way. The only time I have remotely enjoyed any anal experience is when he's going down on me and gently inserts a finger. But he wants to try anal beads and other anal toys and it scares me. Also, I think that he wants me to do anal things to him, but again I can't get past the whole unclean thing. We have tried it with plenty of lube, and it still hurts. I just purchased some anal ease so we'll see if this helps. I really want to get past this, but I'm not sure if I can...any ideas?

I make that sound sometimes too! It's pretty embarrassing, but I have noticed that it happens more frequently when my SO and I are in certain positions (doggy style). Sometimes I try to just avoid the positions that make the noise occur, but since I really like doggy style we both just deal with it. My SO is really funny 'cause when it happens I always say, "oops I'm making noises again" and he always just says that he likes it when I make noises. So, maybe if would help to just laugh about it.

Hi all, I am new to the forum. I am a 25 year old female who is in a serious relationship with a 25 year old male. We have known each other for years (since high school) and actually dated in high school (we were each others first loves...first everything). We went our separate ways during college and have been back together for about 2 years. I love our relationship and think that we are well matched in most areas. The one big difference is that his sex drive is voracious, while mine is really mealy. In high school my sex drive was incredible, but now I truly believe that I could go without sex for months and not be concerned about it. This is obviously a huge point of contention between my SO and myself. Don't get me wrong...once we start having sex I am happy to continue, but it's getting to that point that is the problem. I do masturbate fairly regularly, but it's sort of a quick fix if I'm bored or want to fall asleep. My SO gets disappointed because he doesn't always want to be the initiator (and I don't blame him) and I think it also makes him feel like I don't desire him. I have read Mikayla's advice on mismatched sex drives but it seems more like it is geared toward men. I want to know what I can do for myself to get over this hump. Please help me.