[Oral Contraception.]

I have an active sex life and therefore have always been on oral contraception.

Even being on this type of contraception - I have never really been confident with letting me partner climax inside of me.

I really would like some more information on how safe it is to do so and at what points? 99% safe? At ALL times? Or just at certain times during my cycle?

I have let him climax inside of me a few times, but I always try to make sure it is right before my period (when my pills are about to end) - because for some reason, having my period after he cums inside of me makes me feel better about it. Like, it is flushing it out.

When is it safe to have full-blown sex while actively on birth control??

[His Mother.]

Thanks to everyone who replied - great advice and statements

I think it is the sort of thing that I will just have to give time. If it doesn't stop in time, then maybe I will have a quiet word with his mother - or possibly show my disapproval when she babies him in front of me.

I spoke to Ross (my boyfriend) recently, about how I feel and that I had written about it on a forum - he was alot more understanding once he realised how much it affected me. Although nothing is going to be done about it - I have told him that I would give it time, but if it doesnt stop - then there will be trouble!

Thanks again! I really appreciate it!

[His Mother.]

Let me begin by explaining a few things.

I have been dating the same guy for over 4 years now and I have always got along with his mother. She is single, works, struggles a bit in life - but a decent lady.

I have never really had anything against her, but lately - she irritates me at a constant. I don't even really like being around her.

She has three sons, one is 30, one is 25 and my boyfriend is 19.

She has ALWAYS called him 'baby', 'chick', 'Rossy' (his name is Ross), 'babes', etc.

She even calls her other two boys those names - and they are 30 and 25!!!!

Now... I have no problem with the fact that Ross is her youngest son, and in a sense her 'baby boy' - but for her to constantly call him 'baby', 'babes', 'chick', 'hunny', etc - it REALLY bothers me. I dont even feel right about calling him 'baby', 'babes' or 'hunny' anymore - because his mother calls him the SAME thing. How can I use those 'pet' names on my boyfriend - and have his mother refer to him as the same thing? It grosses me out and irritates me. Am I being immature here?

Another thing that she does is like 'pets' his hair, you know... plays with his hair. Now, I can imagine her putting her hand through his hair once... like, as a motherly caring gesture... but stroking his hair!?!?! That is what I do, when I'm being cute of affectionate. Again, this GROSSES me out - and I dont like doing that to Ross anymore, because all I can think about is the fact that his mother does the same to him.

She also says things to him like 'Do you want mommy to take off your shoes for you?' or 'Do you want mommy to run you a bath?'

COME ON. This guy is supposed to be my manly boyfriend, my protection. Not a big soppy mommy-toy. Ew.

Sorry for this post - it is mostly a rant. I really need help with this, I was actually considering seeing a counsellor about it - because it all seriously stresses me out.

I have spoken to him about it before, but he just says that he brushes it off and lets her say and do what she likes because she is a single parent and her boys are 'all she has'.

Who is in the wrong here? Am I just being easily irritated? Or do you see what I am saying?

Thanks...

[Jealousy]

Koman and Meredith: Both of you need to find ways to get your feelings under control. There are few things that will destroy a relationship faster than one partner always accusing the other of being interested in other members of the opposite sex. Its almost a self fulfilling prophecy!

What my second wife and I did was turn the issue inside out. Ask yourself, and then ask him, as you point out an obviously attractive woman he may not have seen: What does she have that I don't have? Or as my wife would say to me, " Do you think she gives as good a blow job as I do?" Now, what is a guy going to say to that loaded-for-bear question????? And, in turn, I would point out some great looking, and often Younger guy for her to drool over, and whisper in her ear, " Do you think he eats pussy as good as I do?" What is a woman going to say in answer to that?

The point of our exercise is that we accepted the fact that all humans are wired to LOOK! Men look at pretty women, and women look at good looking guys! The more flesh shown, the more we notice. That is a fact of life. Now, YOU are both getting depressed over this normal event. I am suggesting that you get over it by controlling it and turning it in your favor. By asking your BF those kinds of questions we asked each other, you get him to smile, get him to realize that he already has a terrific, willing partner in hand( a butt squeeze can accent the point, BTW) and that literally, " A bird in hand is worth two in the bush!" The unknown woman he is staring at may be the most wonderful lover and companion in the world. More likely she is missing some of those finer attributes. The same with the men. Pretty people know it, and often try to sail through life on their looks only. They are as dumb as a box of rocks. And they tend to be incompetent lovers, because, once again, they can get their rocks off without really working at it. There lovers are suppose to be awed by the fact they get to make love to a " beautiful body". Sorry, it doesn't usually work that way. Maybe once, but then anyone would want to move on.

Jealousy is merely self doubt. So, ask yourselves, What reason have you to be so down on yourself? Then make a list of all the great things about yourself. We obsess about looks too much, striving for the perfect, air-brushed pictures of models and actresses that appear on TV, movies, and in magazines, or billboards. NO one looks that good in person. Or at least very few do. My father got to meet the actress, Kim Novak up close, and he said the thing that impressed him the most was how flawless her skin was. Now, he could not know or say how many skin peels she may have had, or plastic surgery to removes some blemish, wart, or mole, and he understood that. But, he said she was very casual in meeting all the people at his plant, and was as warm and friendly in person as she appears on screen and in interviews. And she had perfect skin. A lot of older men had lots of wet dreams about Kim Novak in her day!

If your list of great and good things appears rather short, then ask your friends to make such lists. i bet you you will be surprised at the things your friends value in you that have nothing to do with those things you obsess about. Learn from your friends. Trust their judgment. Of course, work on those things that you want to improve, but learn to accept those things that are not going to change. Find a way to turn that to an advantage.

For instance, my last name is rediculously long, and difficult to pronounce. It has given me problems all my life. Instead of moaning about it, I make a joke of it, when introduced to someone, and encourage them to call me anything they like, except " late for dinner!". I have freckles on top of freckles, hiding behind moles. Instead of being self conscious about that, I just call myself," the Polka Dot Kid ". It gets people to smile, and realize that we all have our " blemishs".

MY wife could look as homely as a mud fence when she frowned, but when she smiled, she could stop wars! God, does she have a beautiful smile, that lights up rooms! She is also tall and skinny, and obsesses over not have that hourglass figure. I think she is elegant and sexy as hell! Put her in a man's dress shirt, a sarong, and high heels, give her a glass of champaign to sip, ask her to smile, and start taking the pictures! My wife has a mole in a particular imtimate location. I am one of only two people on this planet that has seen it, besides her and her OB/GYN. To make her feel sexy when she was down, I would whisper in her ear, " Can I lick your mole tonight?" I guarantee she got great mileage out of that " blemish ".

One good exercise for both of you would be to find a Boudoir Phtograph, and talk to him/her about taking sexy pictures of you to give to your husbands or lovers as a surprise Christmas or Birthday gift. The photographer will be able to pose and dress you to bring out the sexiness in you, and will surprise you with pictures of you that don't fit your self image at all. It will be therapeutic for both of you. You will not only learn something about yourself going through the picture taking process, but you will have permanent proof in the form of photographs to remind you of just how sexy you can look!

Best wishes.

Howard

I LOVE the idea of the whispering in his ear about whether or not he thinks a particular girl would give a good blowjob! That sounds fun AND would help. Perfect idea! Thank you

I also like the idea of the sexy photos - that also sounds fun... I will definitely have to look into that

I have only been a member of this forum for 2 days and I have already been filled with fantastic advice. You guys are amazing

[Jealousy]

I also have a huge problem with jealousy, and it's the one thing about me that my hubby can't stand. All I can say is that I have actually been doing what Tyger has said: take it one day at a time, find something FANTASTIC about yourself for the day, and if you can't think of something, MAKE ONE! Wear those favorite shoes, put on your most flattering outfit, and don't say a word fishing for a compliment. Do it yourself! Look at yourself at every reflective thing you can find (elevator doors, windows, mirrors, lakes, whatever!) and tell yourself that you are amazing. Sometimes that's just what it takes to get yourself over the low self-esteem hump, even though it sounds totally narcissistic. The other huge thing is to remember that you were apart for a year, and he came back TO YOU! I did the same thing, spent our engagement year in an LDR, and I just have to keep reminding myself that even though he was at a college campus, with tons of beautiful girls, he still married me! Even if he were to stray, he'll keep coming back to me, and if he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve me. To loosen your tight grip on him, do like thurisas said, and go shopping for him, pointing out good looking women. Stoke his fantasy fires and get some of your own back by telling him "Man, she's hot. I'd do her." Any guy hearing a hetero girl say she'd "do" another girl says it's amazingly hot even if you'd never follow through. And adding one more thing that you know makes your BF hot for you is yet another thing to get you over that self-esteem hump.

Hope it helps!

The thing that caught my eye about your post is when you mentioned to look at myself alot - I do already, he says 'you're so vain'! every time!!

I mean... I look at myself from the side and up close at my eyes and eye make-up, etc. I'm never in front of the mirror doing poses or anything! Haha

Im not too sure if he means it in a bad way or not.

[Jealousy]

I mirror Thurasis' sentiments. Jealousy is a state of mind, and it's one you really need to get over. Jealousy can be flattering, to a degree, however, it really can get on someone's nerves, and can kill a relationship. I mean, how many times must one defend themselves?

Your profile doesn't say how old you are, but I have found that young people get really jealous. As we age, we come to realize that if someone is going to cheat, there's nothing you can do to change that. We also become more accepting that people look at the sex they're attracted too, whether they're in committed relationships or not. It's human nature. We look. That doesn't mean that when one looks, they're looking for something better. It doesn't. It just means that we're not dead! Don't punish him for being an alive male! It's not fair.

Getting jealous over some people on TV is a bit extreme. Do you honestly think that Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Pam Anderson, Emily Proctor, Sandra Bullock, or Tyra is going to pop out of the screen and take your man away from you? I mean, really. I'm not trying to sound insulting, but even in your post, you sounded like you knew how silly that really is.

Jealousy, usually stems from low self-esteem. only YOU can work on that. There are many posts here that address self esteem issues and such. But, what I suggest to people, is that they concentrate on ONE good thing about themselves each and every day. Say you're having a good hair day. GREAT! Makeup came out exceptionally well today! AWESOME!! You're going "camando" to surprise your BF (that usually puts a sexy glint in the eye and a sway in the walk whether you notice it or not). WONDERFUL. You're wearing your favorite shoes! SEXY!! Morning sex! HUBBA HUBBA!!!

Remember, your BF loves you enough to endure a whole year away from you, and came back to you afterwards! That takes love AND commitment.

I just updated my profile - I am 21.

'I mean, how many times must one defend themselves?' - You're right, I cant imagine if he did it to me. If he constantly fished for compliments. That's sooo bad.

Im more than aware that getting jealous over people on the TV is a bit extreme, but all the same - the pressure on today's women to be picture perfect is awful. How come we cant watch a decent film without seeing some girl's bare breast bounce across the screen with a minute of moaning? I guarantee the majority of people in today's society would change something (or multiple things) about themselves to be MORE LIKE someone on the TV. The pressure is ridiculous - skinny, leggy, no imperfections, sexy lips, big wide eyes, long bouncy hair. Nobody can have it all, but we all push ourselves to TRY!! This is a bit of an ongoing rant of mine - that needs to STOP.

I will work on my self esteem, like you suggest. I will start today. I will wear my favorite clothes and make sure that I feel good when I walk out the door :) Thank you.

[Jealousy]

Jealousy is a normal thing, I think, but you're taking it a bit to the extreme. You have put a lot of energy into staking a claim for this man and it seems you want to make sure it sticks. Fine, but you're likely to find that sort of emotion is going to be extremely transparent no matter how well you think you're hiding it and it will start to put stress on the relationship.

The first thing you really need to stop doing is comparing yourself to others whether they be on TV or walking down the street. There is diversity in people and you should like yourself for who you are as well as what you aren't. Face it, you have one thing that none of them do...him. If that isn't enough for you I think you're in for some rough times ahead.

The better thing for you to do is to start enjoying the scenery with him. My wife and I make comments all the time when we see people we find attractive or when we see someone who we think the other might find attractive. That can give you a feeling of control over a situation that likely needs no control but it will also teach you about your SO's likes and dislikes.

As far as his stopping the compliments...well...he's an idiot for that. We all like to be reassured that we're still attractive, that we're still useful, that we're still loved. He needs to pick that habit right back up. I would even venture to say that you should have a nice conversation with him about your feelings in such a way that isn't accusatory, but more open to mature conversation.

Thurisas.

I'm going to reply to everyone's comments because I feel this issue is having a very large impact on my life and each and every single one of you have pointed out some very valid points.

My favorite thing that you said is 'Face it, you have one thing that none of them do...him' - I've never really thought about it like that, isnt that sad? My face lit up when you said this and a 'You're right!' feeling went soaring through my body. I do have him, and I've had him for 4 years! I shouldnt be jealous at all! I met him when he was 15 years old and I have been with him since!

I am his first/only girlfriend ever! This is something that has made me feel a bit jealous at times also - because, he talks of marriage, etc (even though he is only 19 - tsk tsk!) and how he wants to be with me forever... but he hasnt ever been with anyone else, does he really know? He says he does - he says that he has no need to find someone else, because he's already found that perfect person and when you find something perfect... you dont look further. I know what he is saying, but sometimes in the back of my head I think - he is still young, doesnt he ever get a tingle to explore more than me!? He says no.

The one thing that alot of people have said in their replies to my original post is to 'enjoy the scenery' - that is probably a step I cant take yet! I would really struggle with that. He has told me before about people he thinks are pretty and my self esteem crashes and burns. I know people are pretty, and I know when he views people as pretty - anyone with a brain knows the difference between pretty and not. It's different to be told by him.

Although - I have to say, I work in an office environment where I used to wear flat shoes, a simple top and normal bottoms. Recently, I went shopping with him and he suggested I try heels - in which his mouth dropped and he said 'You look SO good in those! You REALLY suit them! Buy them! Buy them! I will buy them!' Hahaha - I did buy them, and I dont wear flat shoes to work anymore. In fact, I have a couple of pairs now... AND I'm wearing skirts and low cut tops. So, that is a good thing.

Also... he hasnt STOPPED complimenting me - like in general. Just, he doesnt compliment me when Im upset over some sexy girl flaunting on the TV or something he views as silly. He just tells me Im being silly about it and I should know better. He IS right though

[Jealousy]

I am the most jealous person I know. I do understand that the jealousy lies within my own head - there is no reason for me to be this way.

I cant figure out why I lack trust in my boyfriend of over 4 years.

The only thing I can think of that has happened in our lives is when I moved away for a year - we spent a LONG time missing eachother, and I feel that it was a very difficult time. We missed eachother alot. We saw eachother ONCE within that year - and it was AMAZING. But, we spent alot of lonely days apart.

Do you think that maybe my jealousy is because somehow Im still holding on tightly like I was when we were apart? How do I loosen my grip?

I dont have normal jealousy. I get jealous of sexual behaviour in films and flaunty girls. I dont even like him talking to girls that I view as prettier than me (this is usually ME thinking they are prettier than me - not him saying or suggesting).

I know I'm not perfect, nobody is. But for some reason - I cant get my head around this. Is there some way I can... snap out of this!?

It's upsetting and frustrating because I cant figure out how to stop it and how to trust him 100% like I did before our time apart.

I do trust him. I REALLY do. I know he loves me and is in love with me and would NEVER stray - but for some reason, I am still jealous. Of everything.

He used to reassure me alot - how beautiful I am, alot of compliments... EVERYTHING. He is extremely loving and caring and I know he is in love with me, I know it and I can feel it too. Now he doesnt - he tells me that I should know it by now. Mostly because I fish for it when Im jealous. Not good.

What can I do!? It's 100% MY problem. It's really stupid and I am aware of it. It is so unhealthy.

[Stuck With Missionary For Life?]

What are good positions to try/do if either myself or my partner need to stimulate my clit?

[Stuck With Missionary For Life?]

No, I dont think you sound stupid.

I have thought about it - I'll kick my partner's ass into gear and get HIM to do it! You're right!!!

I wish I could hear from someone who had personal stories/experiences similar to my problem. EG - the positions they use and what they do with their hands to keep pressure/stimulation on their clit.

Also - Im not sure if Ive ever had a G-spot orgasm... are there beginner ways of doing so? and if I need clit stimulation for the big O - is it possible to accomplish the G-O before the clit O? Hahaha :)

[Shaving. What Do You Like And How Do You Do It?]

I prefer to be shaved, but I have ALOT of problems with razor rash.

I get it ALL over my knees and the back of my thighs. Not only does it look terrible, it itches and drives me insane!

I know tootimid sells Coochy Cream - but is there ANYTHING else that can be done to prevent this? I have always got razor rash from shaving - no matter WHAT I do.

[Stuck With Missionary For Life?]

This is my first post on here - so let me introduce myself.

I am a 21 year old female who has been in a steady relationship for over 4 years.

My partner and I have an active sexual life - we have explored MANY different positions, toys, etc!

My biggest problem is - I can only orgasm when in the missionary position, and have pressure on my clit.

My orgasms are the best when my partner is on top, but I am capable of driving myself to orgasm when I am on top.

I am so bored of having to pull him from behind me (or wherever he is) and put him on top, so I can climax. My sex drive is dying, because it's not.... fun?

I want to be able to climax in ANY position - It makes me feel incompetent. Sex would be so much more exciting if it wasn't so plain-jane for me.

Any advice would be great Thanks in advance!