[Forum Etiquette]

Hello Board!

I just wanted to make a reminder post about the importance of maintaining a non-judgmental attitude on forum. While TooTimid is definitely a great place for a variance of opinions and experiences, this difference can sometimes be a point of contention!

If we are all completely honest, we would admit that at one time or another we have either silently or verbally passed judgment on another person. This is a fact of life. We all do it.

However, this forum is a place for people to share their experiences, lifestyle choices, sexual choices and the like. If we disagree with someone's choices this is perfectly fine and acceptable. IF we want to ask questions about this difference that too is acceptable. If we want to disagree with this choice it is also fine and acceptable.

What is NOT acceptable is to degrade, criticize, mock ,demean or otherwise offend ANYONE for their sexual, personal, professional or any other life choice!

We have to always be cognizant that you can not "lump the whole into the few." Meaning, what goes for YOU might not go for EVERYONE!

All opinions are welcome here on TooTimid as long as those opinions are expressed in an appropriate manner.

We are all free to have our individual experiences when it comes to sex - and we ALL need to be supportive of one another's innate rights to have these separate likes and dislikes. To do so we need to be polite and non-judgmental when posting.

That's what I am taking about! A 60 year-old politically correct attorney will straighten you up if you curved away or thought different about marriage counselors and magic pills

[Sex Is Not Important?]

Many churches and Planned Parenthood clinics have free or low cost Marriage Counselors. I have used the one at the Planned Parenthood clinic that used be in my area. They are good counselors and can help in all areas of martial issues.

I've done my research and unfortunately could not find any.

[Sex Is Not Important?]

[What Nationality Is The Sexiest?]

Woopady do! Be careful not to offend anyone by asking about the sexiest nationallity!~

[Wife Is Ice Cold Now!]

Well hormone levels and meds can make you more more irritable, and the only way you are going to be able to get your partner to talk about it without being irritated is if they want to talk about it.

[Wife Is Ice Cold Now!]

-get a marriage counselor (Howard’s' favorite)

[Best Sex]

Wow, I have many more years to go!

[Sex Is Not Important?]

Thanks, Howard for a long and very informative post.

[Love My Hubby Dearly.. But]

Jenny007,

No one is suggesting that marriage counselors are miracle workers. Miracles come from taking and making something from nothing. A marriage counselor takes two parties who love each other and want to be together and helps them to learn to talk to each other and shows them ways to reconnect. There is a huge difference. The thing is... both parties have to want to change the way things are otherwise it will never work. I can see the frustration in your posts thus far and it seems to me that your husband has no idea what he has in front of him. You have to ask yourself if he even wants to change and you might have to be the one to take the big step and do something about it. Is a marriage counselor absolutely necessary? Maybe not. My wife and I went through some pretty rocky times where our sexual contact would happen once every 3-6 months. In our case, though, we were best friends first. Eventually we started treating each other like friends again instead of trying to fit each other into our mind's version of what a spouse should be. When we did that, we started talking again, started "dating" again (even though we were already married), and eventually our relationship took off in a better direction and here we are today. No matter how you go, it takes a lot of work and both parties to the relationship want to have to commit, otherwise you aren't married, you're roommates.

Thurisas.

There is not much new to what you are saying and I totally agree with it. It goes without saying that it takes both partners to work things out. I tried hard, and gave up after being 'dumped' and shamed by my husband when I was trying. That is where the frustration comes from.

"Eventually we started treating each other like friends again instead of trying to fit each other into our mind's version of what a spouse should be. When we did that, we started talking again" What do you talk about? When we tried to talk, he poured all his long-time grudges and frustration out on me. Those instances happened many years ago and were discussed and apologized for previously. It turned out that he never really forgave me when I asked him to, he never let things go. Honestly, his tactic looks like an excuse to avoid a deep conversation and the unpleasant fact that he does not attempt to find me sexually attractive anymore. He got lazy and comfortable with the life as it is.

You said it right, we are roommates and friends now trying to keep it quite

By the way, the friend with benefits is too old to have any claims to being something else. And yes, he'll be fine being just a friend or a nobody.

[Sex Is Not Important?]

Have you or anyone here ever been to a counselor?

[Love My Hubby Dearly.. But]

I am srry to hear this, Wishful.

He is making all the movies and behavior of a person who is no longer in love with you. Get to a marriage counselor, quick. Life is too short to put up with that kind of treatment. If he doesn't want to change, leave!

Howard

Well, everyone thinks a marriage counselor is a magician. I seriously doubt that.

At least you still some sort of sexual relationship with your hubby. I have not had sex with mine for 1 fricking year!

[Sex Is Not Important?]

that sucks!