goodsoutherngirl

Thank you. I did discuss my feelings with him. He knew when he said it that it was hurtful to me, and was immediately apologetic - and our later discussion cleared things up quite a bit. So things are good, and he is a very kind man. I am madly in love with him, and glad to be past that situation. I read up on the oral sex tips here and have been "practicing" (lol) - he calls me a quick learner Of course, I didnt tell him I was following detailed instructions haha. Thank you again. I have come to the conclusion that all men ARE different, and maybe as lovers we should always be open to learning preferences and techniques for pleasure. As for me, I am very much enjoying all of the new experiences and loving the learning process!!

Talking it out here really helped me to open up and figure out more of what I was feeling. I talked to my partner about it last night and we worked through it. And made love off and on all night between conversations. I do feel a lot better, and appreciate this outlet and your input - very much. What he meant as a compliment (such as: "the fact that you dont give head like a 2 dollar whore who could suck the chrome off a fender"), I took with hurt feelings (such as: "you really suck at this, but you'll get better with a little practice I hope"). Men are from mars, women are from venus - right? I asked him some questions, and he told me very plainly what he liked. I tried it out and he seemed very pleased, so I feel encouraged and excited about being on the right path now. I LOVE to go down on him. True that I dont have very much experience, but I found right away that it is very arousing for ME and brings me incredibly close to climax myself. Getting to explore sexually is very exciting, and learning my partner thrills me to no end. It just kind of puts a dent in the fun when worries get in the way, or you feel like a failure at it. Tough love was good (thx). I am so glad I found this site - I'm off to learn more that I can try... I just printed off the deep throat instructions here on the site. You got to love the detail! I cant wait to try it out!!

I feel better just having someone to talk to about such a sensitive topic. Just to clarify, I am not jealous of past lovers. I have a past too, and I'm a very easy going mellow person - that kind of stuff doesnt bother me. What bothers me when I think about it is how it makes ME feel - and I feel inadequate enough without that mental comparison going on in the back of my head. It doesnt help that I know that his ex was great at BJs, etc. That's all. I guess it makes me feel like he must be terribly disappointed in comparison. And I'd really like to be for him what he is for me - in bed.

I'm really bummed, and I could use some help from you guys (gals too of course). I've been reading your threads for about a week now, and really appreciate the tips on giving head. The deep throat, humming, figure 8, etc etc etc - I've noted it all. (I'm super jealous LOL) I thought BF and I had a great sex life. Great for me I guess. He is super experienced and seems most interested in pleasing me when we are intimate. He is very affectionate and loving, and that is the part I love the most. The added bonus is that I climax non stop during intercourse, and he can bring me to orgasm in a matter of minutes (and over and over) with his tongue and hands. He doesnt climax every time, but there is quite an age difference (he is in his early 50's, I'm in my mid 30's) - and he had told me in the beginning that it wouldnt happen everytime and that was cool. It wasnt that big a deal - we have a very loving, intimate relationship and I think both very happy. Performance was just not the priority and I didnt give it a lot of thought. The 2nd time I went down on him, he came. That was a first for me and I wasnt expecting it (no indication it was about to happen - it just did) - but I LOVED it. Felt like queen of the freakin' mountain!! But it only happened that once. The last time I went down on him, he stopped me after awhile. And then he said something really sweet to me, with the best of intentions I'm sure. He said that my lack of experience, and the fact that I'm a "good girl" is one of the things he loves most about me. That me not having a clue (my words, not his) about how to get him off is very appealing to him. He said I would learn, I would figure it out with practice. And he held me and kissed me - and was very kind about it. I felt like my heart was going to fall out my ass. I dont know why I took it so hard, but I did. And that's when I did a search and found you guys... and started taking notes. I feel like a failure, and I know thats silly thinking, but I cant seem to shake it off and get it out of my head. I started thinking maybe that's the reason he doesnt climax during intercourse every time - because maybe I stink at that too. But then he gets an erection almost every time we kiss, he is always kissing on me and touching me and wanting me, and we have been together (in bed) every single day since the first time we had sex. So I tell myself if I was THAT bad, he'd be losing interest by now. Surely. Still. I'd give ANYTHING to give a killer blow job. I know you guys said in the other thread that your man moaned or lifted his hips to you or talked to you while you were giving head. My partner does not do that. So I'm left feeling like I may never "figure it out on my own" because there are no indicators as to what I'm doing right - or not. I did mention that to him. We're close enough to talk intimately, so he knows that. Guys - does the same thing work on all of you? Do you ALL like the deep throat and the figure 8 tongue thing? Or are all guys different? And how am I supposed to know whats working and whats not - and when to try something different? The one and only time he came during oral sex I had no idea he was even close - so I wouldnt want to stop something that had him almost there, and I wouldnt want to keep doing something that was going nowhere. My other issue is figuring out exactly what some of the things you say mean. Like I dont know how to do a "hand job" so I get discouraged when the hand job is suggested. Do you grip it tight and move the skin up and down, or do you grip it loose and wet and let it slide up and down in your hand??? Being inexperienced at my age SUCKS. Our relationship is so perfect in every other way. But I feel disheartened and I would give anything to pleasure him like he does me. Its taking a toll on me and on the overall balance. I asked him today... If I did it right, or knew how, would he get off every time? He said sure, most definitely. Which made me feel even worse. Now I know its not a guy thing or an age thing. Its a ME thing. *sigh* I'm sure he would teach me step by step if I asked him to. But when I think about that it really gets to me. He knows because he's been with good women (good in bed I mean). And somehow the thought of being shown how other girls did it doesnt set well with me mentally, ya know? I wish I could just figure it out and do it, and get past this.