hotmama41

I gave him the articles and he took them with interest. After he read them he said he thought they were really good.... but nothing has changed. I blew him in his favorite chair Sunday night, in bed last night and again this morning. I took care of myself in the tub yesterday with my new toy, and am headed that way again today. He said this morning he wanted to pleasure me "this morning after the kids go to school so there'd be no interruptions". They've been in school for a several hours now and I'm still waiting (though not holding my breath!) He works from home and always knows what his schedule is. So as I sit here listening to him in his office I can't help but be upset by his empty promise of pleasure for me. It's difficult for me to see or feel his erection w/o wanting to do something about it- I would hate to think of a man suffering with a hard on that I caused (even if I wasn't trying to cause it). I don't understand how this man can touch, rub and kiss me, tell me he'll take care of me when the timing is better and then leave me to suffer, not seeming the least bit concerned about my needs. I've decided it's 3 strikes and he's out. As dificult as it will be for me to not pleasure him orally, I am putting my foot down. I never wanted to demand, I just wanted him to WANT to. Quite a combo of feelings I have going on here...Intense arousal and extreme heartache.....

Thank you all for your input- I really do appreciate it. I will try to respond to all of your ideas in one post. Just to be clear,, we do have conversations outside of the bedroom and have no trouble discussing sex. I can have multiple clitoral orgasms, but he stops after the first and is ready to move on. We have 2 vibes that we play with freely and I ordered a third today. I have guided his hand and let him know softer, to the left, etc.... just as he has let me know what he likes. I have also touched and rubbed to show him what I like while he watched. I compliment his size, etc., but it's not a running comentary- more of a playful comment made on occasion. I have sat on the sofa holding his hand to tell him exactly what I like and need. Not a lecture or list of his shortcomings, but a conversation. (Do you like it when I do _______.....because I sure like it when you do_____... What can I do to make giving me oral more enjoyable for you... I've shown him the articles that say how many women climax through clitoral stimulation and not si. I have told him of my research to find more ways to pleasure him- giving him the names of the sites I've visited. I mentioned all of the topics that are discussed. I know men generally aren't into all the talking, so the conversations are always short and to the point. I guess I was expecting too much for him to think, "wow, I've been getting some really amazing pleasure lately, maybe I could find something out there I could use to rock her world." I have no problem rubbing my clit during intercourse,, and we have used a vibe for that purpose. I truly enjoy si and I'm not hung up on my lack of ability to climax during it. I am open to and enjoy many different positions. I ride him either positioned so that we can look at each other, or so that my back is to him. Missionary and doggie style are wonderful as is standing bent over anywhere (especially in front of a mirror). When I am pleasuring him, I smile, say mmmmmmm, and let him know that I am enjoying what I am doing. My issue is that I just don't feel important to him. I'm so disappointed in him that he's being so selfish. He seems more concerned about his own enjoyment. When he does break down and give me oral, it's obvious to me that he is not enjoying it and I can't help but feel hurt and rejected. He knows he has the ability to give me incredible orgasms if he wants either through oral or manual clitoral stim., or fingering my "g" spot, I had hoped that by doing what I could to make him feel good, that after a while, he would want to do the same for me. I didn't want to whine or beat him over the head- and thought leading by example would be a more positive way to help him want to pleasure me. I will definately look at the articles again and print off any that might help. I thought I would roll the one about cunninglingus in a tube and tie it with a satin ribbon, and put on a tag something to the effect of, "got so hot reading this that I couldn't finish it- would you finish it for me and show me what I missed? I'd be soooo appreciative!" or "I think that if you did this to me, I would be so overcome with pleasure that I couldn't wait to get my lips on you!" or something like that. Something light hearted and fun so that hopefully he would be more open to it and not see it as criticism, but power- the power of information. Hopefully the article will help him understand what I have not been able to get across to him. I dream of asexual experience where my partner is happy to take his time and really cares about my pleasure. I will do my homework over the weekend and hopefully have happy news to report. Thanks again everyone!

I'm wondering if I'm overreacting.....I posted a reply on the Oral page, so you can see I love pleasuring my Husband orally and do it very well- as his reaction lets me know. I've been disapoointed though that he never really returns the favor. He makes attempts at oral once in a while, but it's obvious to me that something about it turns him off. I keep impeccably clean, got him some flavored lube, and even shaved down there to try to help things. I have let him know that it sends me to the moon when he does, and he knows that I have never had an O during intercourse. I let him know during intercourse by my moans, movements, etc. that even though I don't O, it still feels awesome having him inside me. I also give him compliments on the size of his penis and tell him how lucky I am to get to make love to him. I have turned him away no more than 4 times in the nearly 20 years we've been married, and have no porblem just giving him oral or a quickie to satisfy him in a time crunch. I've bought the kind of lingerie he's said he likes to see me in, and told him if there's a particular one he wants on a certain night, to put it under my pillow and I would happily wear it for him. Now here's the thing....We saw each other on Monday after a week apart. I met him out of town as he was already there and I couldn't go at the same time. We had tear your clothes off sex. I immediately went down on him and "tortured" him with my tongue and lips. There was no doubt he was loving every second of it. He was good and hard and wanted me to get on top. I did so and rode him for a while. We then switched positions 2 more times before he came. I let him rest for a litlle while, but kept wondering if he was going to help me, even with just his fingers. We ended up having to leave to get somewhere, but thought later that night we'd take care of things. He had asked me to bring a certain set of lingerie, so I put it on when we got back. I climbed into bed and waited. Nothing happened. He lay on the other bed watching tv. He obviously had no interest in pleasuring me, and I wasn't going to make him do it because I knew I wouldn't enjoy it that way. I went to bed feeling like crap and threw the items in the garbage the next morning. One thing I have told my husband is that I would like it if he would be more affectionate outside the bedroom. He seems to only touch and kiss me when he wants sex. He didn't touch or kiss me again until Wed. morning when he wanted it. It was the first time in a long time that I turned him away. I told him I was surpised he didn't mention the items I had thrown away. He didn't ask me any questions, or even apologize. He lay there for a moment, got up and went to his office. I feel as though he's being very selfish in our lovemaking, and not concerned about my feelings. I read several of the articles on the website, and didn't find anything to help. I don't do a single one of the things listed in "5 things women do wrong in bed", and feel cheated out of my pleasure. We do have a few toys, and I ordered another one today. I've never criticized his performance, and have used my hand to show him how to pleasure me. It just seems like he doesn't really want to. I know this is incredibaly long, and I'm sorry for that, but can anyone tell me if I'm out of whack, or what I can do about it? I would never consider withholding oral or other sex as a punishment, but I do feel my desire to pleaseure him lessening because I don't feel like my pleasure matters. Thank you so much for reading my extremely long post and for any help you may be able to give me.

I love giving my guy oral. I too researched online and added maasaging behind his scrotum. I start off very lightly stroking and as his pleasure intensifies, so does my pressure. I actually am pressing really hard by the end. .Meanwhile, I tease, lick, kiss, suck, hum, deep throat and use different positions to mix it up so it's never the same thing. He always enjoys it, but when I massage behind his scrotum he actually screams while he cums and yells "Oh my God!" repeatedly. This makes his orgasms last much longer, and makes them stronger as well. He has actually had to lay there and recover for a minute before he could give me some fun. Sometimes I will massage with one hand, cup his balls and gently play with them with the other, suck and tease him with my mouth while he strokes himself. He really loves it when I swirl my tongue around, or when I use my tongue to stroke the little notch on the underside of his penis where the head meets the shaft. When he's ready to cum I ask him how he wants to do it. Usually he wants me to swallow and I happily take him in all the way and he explodes down my throat. Othertimes, he wants to cum on my breasts (especially my nipples) and I move my mouth away at the last possible moment while he strokes to the finish. I think what also adds to his enjoyment is my genuine enthusiasm for plaeasuring him this way. He knows it gets me really turned on to pleasure him this way, and I moan and tell him howmuch I love sucking him. I tell him how much I love seeing him hard and would give him oral morning noon and night if he wanted it. I also will sometimes use my finger and thumb to wrap tightly around the base while I suck, lick, etc..... When he's ready to cum I let go and it's just another way of intensifying his orgasm.