[Getting Your Partner To Branch Out]

For those of you who introduced toys and other interesting activities into your bedrooms--has anyone had to "coax" your partner? Hubby and I have a good sex life but I think it can be better. I feel that some more creativity is called for. We've talked about it. I have told him I need more adventure. (I think he'd be happy to have missionary sex once a week if left to his own devices). We've made progress. To his credit, he is trying in his own way. (Ex--recently initiated sex in the shower, which was a big step for him! ) But I can't seem to get him interested in toys. I'm ok with using the toys solo, and I'm ok with using one myself to get off during our lovemaking. But sometimes, I want him to use them on me, and he just doesn't seem into it. So, would you suggest just presenting him with one when we're fooling around, and just telling him--use this.? Anyone else who had to talk your partner into this stuff--suggestions?

Well, I'm kind of in the opposite position. Been married to the same beautiful sexy woman for 32 years. Our sex life lagged for some time, and I used tootimid to enhance our sex life through toys. On our 31st wedding anniversary we went to an inn on the coast and she gave me a new wedding ring with a copy of our vows, and I gave her a new vibrating dildo. Fortunately, my wife knows I mean well and has a sense of humor. Still, my point is that if you love someone deeply and are faithful, then trying to stir the pot can be a challenge. She's more adventurous than before but still kind of shy after all these years. Maybe it's me.

[Multiples- Men?]

WOW that's great for you! Any tips??

I'm 56 and have been married to the same beautiful sexy woman for 32 years. I've always had a more powerful sex drive than my wife, and could have sex or masturbate 4 or 5 times a day when I was in my teens or twenties. For all the males bragging on this thread, that's youth, you're not special. Sorry. Just as women go through changes with youth, child bearing, peri-menopausal, menopausal and so on stages, so do men. Over time we find we can't sprout wood at the mere fleeting sight of forbidden female flesh. Firm hard erections are available, but aren't always necessarily available at that instantaneous drop of a hat (or skirt or blouse or panties).

Lovemaking is still great, one simply adjusts for a half century on the planet's wear and tear. We're generally healthy and fit, but I have heart disease and diabetes and she has heart disease also. We're very active, and I use Cialis intermittently to give that little boost. But that's not the issue, we've found that setting everything else aside, having privacy, and just enjoying each other is a HUGE sexual enhancement. We went to a coastal inn just to get away. I brought the TooTimid toys and we had some wine in this large and romantic room with a double bath jaccuzi overlooking the water. After some wine and flirting (yes, those married 32 years can still flirt), we decided to take the deck of cards that were in the room and play a sexual favor game of blackjack. Surprise, it wasn't a gambling deck, but an deck of trivia questions from TV shows in the 60's. No worries, my wife suggested we adjust the rules so the person winning could ask the loser to do something sexual to themselves or the the winner for 2 minutes, and then play a new round. This led to more than a few unspoken fantasies being acted out, a liberal extension on certain acts where the time limit was concerned, and a smoking hot lovemaking session with ebbs and flows going all afternoon. My erection and orgasms (as well as her orgasms) were never an issue. It was spontaneous, erotic, and very addicting. I cannot wait for our next get away, and I can tell my wife has her own set of plans. All this came about from flexibility and no rushed agenda about how to please the one you love. Take away the statistics of orgasm counting and time fixation, and middle aged sex done well is better than youth sex on a schedule and count. I'm so fortunate to be married to a sweet, fine, loving and generous woman.

[Cock Rings]

Well, an update. Not all of it so good though.

We took our "sex-cation" last week and enjoyed it so much. But he developed ED problems.

I got several new cock rings for him: one was a set of 3 in different sizes, one is the Amazing Wireless, and one is a small one called the Hummdinger. The Hummdinger bullet quit after about 20 minutes The Amazing Wireless tore on the first try and the largest of the set of three stretchy rings works ok around his cock and balls.

But the whole ED is something new to us. We sort of half expected it, since he's taking two blood pressure meds plus Lipitor for cholesterol. I suppose maybe the combination of every-day sex plus the meds has gotten to be too much.

I still have some concerns about the ring. Our sessions are lasting an hour or more, and there's no way he should be wearing any ring that long. But he's having trouble keeping his erections. Even with the ring. So it's hard to convince him not to use them.

Also, he loves anal play, we discovered that much. I got the pink vibrating beads on someone's suggestion and wow, he loves them (I'll update that thread later).

So we had a lot of new and learning experiences last week! I'm still not sure the cockring is a good idea for him though.

There are several serious issues here that are separate but connected if that makes sense. As an RN and 56 year old male I have several observations. Erectile Dysfunction (ED from here on out) has a number of causes particularly in American males, in that it is either a result of Corornary Artery Disease (CAD) or Diabetes (DM) or a combination of both. Previously, the psychological component was considered to be primary, but the evidence does not bear that out. Your man needs a full physical exam. If diabetic then meds will help, if CAD the same applies. The common meds for ED are either Viagra, Cialis, Livitra, etc. All have side effects, just depends on which med is best tolerated by him.

ED is all about blood flow, and Cock Rings are all about blood entrapment. Get your man a complete physical and workup for ED/DM/CAD. Once he's treated medically, then find your favorite Cock Ring and have fun. A sexual toy is no substitue for treatment of symptoms of a medical condition.

[Traveling With Toys]

Thanks everyone for your replies. As an update we had a great time on Maui, no kids or family and lots of personal time. I went on the TSA website and suprisingly found no information on transporting one's dildo or vibrator. We simply placed all the toys in one of those gallon sized zip lock bags without any batteries installed and placed it in one of the side pockets of our check in bag. No problems going to or coming home. I believe not trying to hide anything helped, or perhaps they're simply too busy. Thanks to all for your input.

[Traveling With Toys]

Hi, my first post here. My sweet wife and I are flying to Maui from San Francisco to celebrate our 30th anniversary next week. Last year after discovering this site I started buying toys for her/us. We'd like to take our toys to Maui and back without causing a Homeland Security Alert or undue attention. We're talking a vibrating dildo, shower bunny, clit vibrator, etc. Clearly these would be in our check on bag not carry on and the batteries would be removed. I understand the bag will be unlocked, scanned, and can be individually searched. Coming back from Maui it's my understanding everything is searched for plants and produce.

So, my question is does anyone have personal recent experience transporting toys to Hawaii from SF and back, and what are your thoughts or tales about potential problems or pitfalls. Many thanks to all and thanks so much for a great forum.