JennyGirl

Thanks Mikayla, and everyone else. To answer your questions: Are you having sex more often than that or less? Normally, its about once a week (which is not enough for me, but i just deal with it) Right now, its been almost a MONTH! Ive stopped initiating although I will do little things like send him dirty text messages, wear semi-see through tops with no bra at home, get extra close, etc. hoping it will start something, but it doesnt. Ive done everything but actually throw myself at him. IF he has ever shown any signs of ED before - he may have performance anxiety issues He has NEVER had any problems with ED before. He thought it was 'pushy' or 'rude' to bring up sex all the time He has mentioned feeling this way before, and I have told him several times that it is what I WANT is for him to be more affressive, but it never happens. How did you get your man to be more of an initiator?? what does it matter WHO initiates it? TO me, it DOES matter. It probably shouldnt, but it does. It makes me feel like he is only going along with it because he feels like he has to or something. It's been very hurtful to my self confidence to the point where I feel horribly unattractive to him a lot of the time. Thanks everyone for your advice. I appreciate your help. I have a feeling that its just going to be one of those things I may never be able to fix. I cant think of any real REASONS his drive is so low. I guess it just IS.

Thank you. It is nice to know I am not the only one going through this.

you didnt upset me at all. I am sorry if I led you to think you did. I was just clarifying in my reply post.

I'm glad you asked this. Actually, we have been trying to get pregnant...so I know that cant be the case. At this point, we are basically just "not preventing" and hoping it will happen sometime soon. And, it was his idea so it wasnt anything i pushed on him

forgot to add this to my last post....but yes i have talked to him several times over the last several years about this. I havent talked to him about it lately because it never does any good and i hate feeling like a nag since it keeps coming up. I dont want him to feel bad about it...i just want him to want me.

Thanks everyone. I am quoting this one because there are some things I wanted to clarify. 1) I dont pressure him to have sex. I dont push it and/ or show that I am upset when he doesnt want to. I initiate (normally) maybe a couple times a week, although I would preferrably have it everyday. 2) IF YOUR SEX DRIVE IS STRONGER THAN HIS, THEN WHY NOT MASTURBATE? I do. I dont mean this in a rude way, but that is not the pointi am trying to make here. The point is I want to have sex WITH MY HUSBAND. TOys are graet, but I want my man, not just toys all the time. Also, to clarify, i think i made a typo... what i said was he only used them on ME when i ask him to or mention it...so i dont think he is into it. 3) IS HE GOOD TO YOU? ARE YOU HAPPY IN EVERY OTHER AREA OF YOUR LIFE? Yes, and Yes. Everythign else is great! It just the sex dept. that is suffering. That is one reason why i just dont understand it. 4. IS HE ON ANY MEDICATIONS? none Also, I have already tried most everything that was suggested. We havent tried role playing becuse neither one of us are really into role playing. Our relationship is great and we are pretty affectionate otherwise. It is only the sex that just doesnt seem right to me. oh, and lastly, our roomate works nights so he is not here ALOT of the time so its not a matter of feeling uncomfortable while he is here or anything.

This is my first time posting, so I hope I am in the right place for this topic. I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 2. We have a great marriage and we have great sex, but it is not anywhere near often enough for me. Also, I have a problem with him NEVER initiating sex. My sex drive is way higher than his and it always has been. He is 35 and I am 30. It's gotten to the point where I am so frustrated that I am starting to take it personally. I know he loves me and I know he is attracted to me, but I just dont know what to do anymore to get him to lust after me the way I want him to. I just want him to initiate atleast 25% of the time so I dont feel like he isnt attracted to me or doesnt want me. Weve talked about it several times throughout our relationship and it ultimately nothing ever changes for more than a couple weeks. Does anyone have any helpful advice, or tips or trick on things I can do/ try to get him to want me so bad he cant NOT be all over me? I just want him to come on to me all the time.... like I want to do to him all the timel I've tried the following things already: Wearing lingerie: He's not into it, he'd rather me be naked. (on a side note I am definitely not confident enough to just walk around naked, plus we have a roomate) Buying toys: I have bought tons of toys to try and spice things up but he only uses them them I ask him to... i dont think he is into it Dirty texting Ive sent explicit pix messages and dirty little notes, etc. and they seem to work but again, only if I keep it going and initiate....its never him first and that is what I am needing at this point. So what can I do to get HIM to want to initiate? The only thing I havent tried is acting like I am not interested in sex at all! Ive tried..but i cant lol As of now, its already been 3 weeks since we last had sex. I dont know what to do anymore.